Archive for the ‘Farrah Abraham’ Category

Farrah Abraham Staged Her Wardrobe Malfunction, Of Course

Remember how Farrah Abraham flashed her vagina at Cannes? 

It was, of course, a "total accident" and a "wardrobe malfunction," and not a planned and carefully arranged stunt because she loves attention.

We're kidding. It was by design.

As you can see in the video that we've included below, Farrah wasn't wearing underwear under her dress, which is how she ended up flashing her vagina to the camera.

While all of the witnesses were, of course, turned to stone and remain in Cannes as statues of warning, photos and even video have surfaced of the alleged "wardrobe malfunction."

During the video, Farrah can't seem to sit in the audience like a normal person.

Instead, she is constantly staring at the camera - at one camera in particular, that seems trained on her.

You know how people wondered how she had landed an invitation to walk the red carpet?

Yeah. Well, she hadn't.

Abraham just crashed the red carpet by getting up, walking on it, and it looks like she went out of her way to make sure that she showed her genitals to the camera.

And it looks like the camera operator knew what was coming.

In fact, it looks like Farrah is keeping her eye on the camera, not only because she's some sort of attention vampire who will wither and despair if people aren't looking at her ...

... But because she's waiting for some sort of signal.

We're guessing that the timing for crashing a red carpet show and flashing your genitals "by accident" and making sure that it's all captured by all of the right cameras takes precision.

Still, Oceans 8, this is not.

And anyone watching the full video can see that this was planned.

Why was it planned?

Why does Farrah do anything?

1. Attention.

2. Money (which comes from attention).

We'll admit that Farrah also does some things due to what we'll generously call personality issues that make her such a hostile reality star that she got fired from Teen Mom.

Because while there are some very, very bad people who are reality stars, most of them have the sense to not make it impossible for producers and the camera crew to work with them while they film.

Farrah did, and now she's no longer on the show that catapulted her to fame.

And many fans believe that this ridiculous stunt on the runway is probably a direct consequence of her Teen Mom firing.

Farrah needs attention, and she's clearly not getting enough by just posting risque photos on her daughter's social media account.

Farrah's appeared nude before.

For that matter, she's been in porn, solo and with a partner.

But for some very toxic reason that seems to be an indictment of our society, people are more interested in unintended nudity than they are in deliberate nudity.

A nip slip gets more attention than a topless selfie.

For that matter, people will sometimes devalue a person who poses topless, but not necessarily blame the person whose nudity was accidental.

Society is weird.

Even Farrah knows this.

A number of fans believe that this is why she tried to make it appear that she'd flashed her stuff by accident.

Since Farrah planned this, is she planning some sort of grand tour in which she'll flash her vagina at every big event?

(Yes, we know that she was technically not showing her actual vagina, but "vagina" is the colloquial term for that whole operation; please don't make us refer to Farrah's labia unless it's absolutely necessary.)

Because that will get old faster than she may realize.

Only time will tell.

Farrah abraham staged her wardrobe malfunction of course

Farrah Abraham Posts Risqué Pics on Daughter’s Instagram; Fans Freak Out

Farrah Abraham has spent her adult life coming up with new and interesting ways to piss off the world, and at this point, it's almost impressive how far she's willing to go just to remain relevant.

Abraham's latest mini-scandal serves as a prime example of just how inventive the former Teen Mom OG star has become in her efforts to continue making tabloid headlines.

Farrah shared some disturbing photos on her daughter's Instagram recently, and fans were absolutely floored by what they saw.

It's impossible to say what Farrah was thinking when she posted the pics, but we think it's safe to say she knew exactly what sort of reaction she would get.

And unfortunately, 9-year-old Sophia has once again been dragged into the middle of a very adult conflict thanks to her mother's highly questionable behavior.

1. A Disturbing History

Farrah and sophia abraham photo
Farrah has a long history of treating her young daughter like a grown-up friend. And unfortunately, the evidence of their inappropriate relationship often makes its way to social media.

2. Snapchat Mishap

Farrah and sophia abraham image
Last year, Farrah signed Sophia up for Snapchat, despite the fact that she fell short of the app's age minimum by several years. The account was terminated after Sophia logged on late at night and began conversing with strangers.

3. Twitter Trauma

Farrah abraham and soph
Sadly, Sophia is still active on other social media platforms. Back in December, Farrah logged on to Sophia's Twitter account in order to promote an adult film she had appeared in.

4. Crossing the Line

Farrah abraham selfie game
Needless to say, fans were highly upset, and sadly, that wasn't the first time that Farrah involved her daughter in her porn career.

5. A New Low

Farrah and sophia abraham
In a 2017 interview, Farrah predicted that Sophia would one day follow in her footsteps by starring in a "sex tape."

6. She Keeps Getting Worse

Farrah abraham with sophia at sephora
And earlier this year, Farrah revealed that she and Sophia have nude photos of one another on their phones. With all that history, some fans were sadly not surprised by Farrah's latest scandal ...
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Farrah Abraham Shares Disturbing Photos on Daughter’s Instagram

Sometimes you look at Farrah Abraham, at all the things she says and does, and you just think "What is wrong with this woman?"

And unfortunately, you never, ever get any answers.

Farrah and Sophia

Farrah's been ... well, we'll say "off" ever since we first saw her on 16 and Pregnant.

She was oddly confrontational even back then, and she was super dramatic and lacked the ability to communicate in any kind of intelligent way.

Over the years, things have only gotten worse, especially when it comes to her parenting skills.

In the past few months, Farrah has gotten a whole lot of criticism for statements she's made about her daughter, Sophia, and for things we've seen on social media.

Who could forget the time that she admitted that she and Sophia have nude photos of each other on their phones?

(And if you did manage to forget it, please share your secrets, because that twisted little tidbit just will not stop haunting us.)

On another occasion, Farrah hopped onto Sophia's Twitter account to share an adult video she starred in, which is so messed up it's almost hard to believe.

Farrah, Sophia Abraham Pic

More recently, we saw the former Teen Mom OG star getting butt injections with her daughter behind her, filming the whole thing.

It's just been a whole bunch of weirdness, and it's been uncomfortable and scary and bad.

It's even worse when you remember that Farrah pulled Sophia out of school so she could educate her herself.

As part of this education -- or just for fun, let's not pretend that Farrah has any kind of actual plan for homeschooling Sophia -- this dynamic mother-daughter duo has been traveling the world recently.

They were just in Fiji, then they moved on to France, where Farrah is terrorizing Cannes.

She took a break from flashing her crotch on red carpets to go to the beach, and Sophia shared a series of pictures from their fun day.

Most of them were cute, but one ... well, take a look for yourself:

Farrah booty

Yep, that photo was posted on Sophia's Instagram, and in the caption, she wrote "I love my mamas booty!"

Yikes.

Her bio says the account is managed by Farrah, but she's definitely made her own social media posts before, so it's hard to tell who actually wrote this.

The odds are that Farrah did it, obviously -- we doubt Sophia would ever say something like that herself -- but either way, it's pretty bizarre, right?

And Sophia's followers had lots of words to say about it.

"Well that's not absolutely disturbing at all," one person commented. "Jesus Christ there is so much wrong with this....."

"Always showing your ass...literally and figuratively," another wrote. "Pathetic!!!"

Farrah Abraham Flaunts Her Backside

Someone told her that it was "real classy showing your giant fake butt on your 'child's' insta page...smh. Anything for attention..."

One person suggested that "Dr. Drew needs to have this chick commited," and several people asked about Sophia's schooling.

"Lol what in the child protective services is going on here," another follower asked, pretty much summing this entire situation up perfectly.

It's just ... why do things like this happen?

Is Farrah really so desperate for any attention at all that she feels comfortable posting this kind of stuff?

And what unbearably awkward and/or completely inappropriate moment are we going to see next?

Farrah Abraham and Jenelle Evans: SLAMMED for Plugging Weight Loss Lollipops!

Right on the heels of Kim Kardashian's ridiculous lollipop promotion, past, present, and perhaps future Teen Mom stars are coming out of the woodwork to promote "appetite-suppressing" lollipops.

No one's favorite reality stars, Farrah Abraham and Jenelle Evans, are getting slammed for plugging these weight-loss lollipops.

Even Farrah's replacement is endorsing them. And fans are roasting them all for it.

Farrah Abraham, Weight Loss Lollipop

Continuing the tradition of millionaires who've had plastic surgery promoting weight loss products to their fans, Farrah Abraham posted a (genuinely good) pic of herself.

And her caption was ... not the subtlest product endorsement that we've ever seen.

"#ad They’re like lollipops, but better. @flattummyco has figured out how to suppress my appetite with freaking LOLLIPOPS and it’s seriously the best thing ever."

Uh-huh.

"I’ve been taking them with me everywhere, and keeping extras in my purse and car too."

Don't keep lollipops in your car, folks. They melt in hot weather and it's a disaster. We assume that these lollipops work the same way.

"I tend to grab one between lunch and dinner when I need a little something to hold me over, and it totally does the trick."

... Sure.

"Keeps me from reaching for those not-so-healthy snacks. You guys seriously need to check these out! #flattummypops"

While the world over hopes that no one, least of all teenage girls, looks to Farrah for advice on anything, if her Instagram audience didn't seem like a viable market for these, she would be paid to advertise them.

Farrah Abraham Tries to Be Sexy

Followers were outraged to see Farrah endorsing what they believe to be harmful or even dangerous product.

"This is disgusting. You have so many young women following you, that by you supporting these, you are feeding into the idea that starving yourself is fine."

There are types of weight loss that are fine or even healthy, but starving yourself can do serious harm or even claim your life.

"Please god tell me you don't let your daughter use these! Why advertise sweets/candy that promotes weight loss! Disgusting."

She almost certainly doesn't let Sophia use them. She also almost certainly doesn't use them herself. She's (reasonably) rich. She uses an expensive diet, exercise, and plastic surgery.

"That's a good thing to show your daughter.. 'eat these lollipops and you won't be fat.'"

One could almost believe that this person was praising her, but fortunately they were not endorsing this mindset.

"Disgusting example of a mother and a woman. A proper diet and exercise is what you should be [promoting]... not something to make you feel full."

Hey, since Farrah was fired, we guess that she's not going to turn down an advertising opportunity.

Jenelle Evans, Weight Loss Lollipop

While Jenelle Evans is still technically a Teen Mom star, we guess, her husband was fired for being the worst. And she's playing the ad game, too.

"#ad I never thought I’d see the day that @flattummyco came out with LOLLIPOPS as a way to help keep my stomach looking flat, but they did!"

Thankfully, they have the "#ad" tag in case someone thought that she just woke up with a strong desire to push lollipops.

"Since I have a massive sweet-tooth and I’m pretty much always chasing one of my kids around, this is pretty much the best it can get for me (yummy and convenient)!"

Maybe one day, her brood will run fast enough to escape to a better life. That was supposed to be burn but ... we just made ourselves sad.

"I get to have lollipops, keep my appetite in-check, and continue to work towards my goals for a fit + toned tummy."

Sure.

"Yep, my cravings can #suckit. You guys should try these out with me - berry is definitely my favorite! #flattummypops"

Charming.

Jenelle Evans in a Bikini and Shades

Some of the criticisms aimed towards Jenelle were very, very specific.

"None of this is true. Meth keeps her stomach flat."

That's ... not Jenelle's weight loss secret. But a number of those familiar with Jenelle got a laugh out of it.

Another asked if there exists a lollipop that might assist Jenelle to prevent her from "having kids with every man your with."

Ooooh, burn.

"When you copy and paste farrah’s and mackenzie’s post and make it into one."

Yes, even Farrah's expected replacement McKenzie McKee is playing this game.

Mackenzie McKee, Weight Loss Lollipop

Mackenzie McKee, who is known for her dedication to fitness, is also promoting the lollipop.

"#ad I never thought I’d see the day that @flattummyco came out with these tasty lollipops as a way to help keep my stomach looking flat."

Oh, so they weren't kidding. Jenelle's starts the exact same way.

"And since I have a massive sweet-tooth, this is pretty much the best it can get for me (sorry kids, these lollipops are mine!)."

At least she's taking a firm stand against children using them.

"I get to have lollipops, keep my appetite in-check, and continue to work towards my goals for a fit + toned tummy."

They even both used the plus sign. Who helped Jenelle write her caption? Melania Trump?

"Yep, my cravings can #suckit. You guys should try these out with me - berry is definitely my favorite! #flattummypops"

Look, everybody needs to make money. But a lot of fans are crushed to see these women advertise these particular products.

Farrah Abraham Flashes Vagina at Cannes, Still Really Loves Attention

There was a time the Cannes Film Festival was the international community's most essential gathering of cinematic talents.

These days, however - like our cultural landscape itself - it's mostly populated by reality stars and professional pretty people.

Farrah Abraham, See-Through Lingerie Picnic

Which is why where Martin Scorsese or Werner Herzog might once have dominated Cannes-related headlines, now it's Farrah Abraham and her famous vagina capturing all the attention.

Yes, Farrah stepped out on the red carpet with her genitals in plain view of photographers last night.

And while Farrah's red carpet mishap is being widely reported as a "wardrobe malfunction," that term isn't really accurate.

Those who have followed her career closely suspect that the high-profile vadge-flash took place according to plan.

Here you have it:

Farrah Abraham Flashes the Camera at Cannes

And why, you're probably wondering as a thinking person, was Farrah in attendance at the world's most famous film festival?

We may never know for sure, but while she was on hand, the former Teen Mom OG star opened up to reporters about her ongoing legal battle with MTV.

As you may recall Farrah was fired by the network that made her famous as a result of her refusal to quit performing in live-streaming online sex shows.

Yes, that was a thing that happened.

Not surprisingly, Farrah is now claiming victory and insisting that MTV and parent company Viacom played right into her hands.

Farrah Abraham Gets Sexy

“I’m happy Viacom wanted to settle and I’m thrilled with the outcome,” Abraham told People magazine.

“I did the right thing by filing a lawsuit."

"I honestly felt that if I didn’t stand firm I would have regretted it my entire life and I would have thought my entire life ‘I should have sued!’”

The 26-year-old firebrand went on to basically describe herself as the Martin Luther King of basic cable, adding:

“Reality TV is a place where I’ve been very successful and have made history multiple times for social change, justice, and showing where society needs to be challenged and changed."

Yes, these are actual quotes.

“My recent work with MTV ended on the highest note," she continued, "and it’s a confirmation to me that I’ve been able to impact production and the network for the better."

"I hope that they continue with their willingness to listen to creators, developers, and leaders to improve the exhausted forms of shows and adapt to the next levels.”

Clearly, Farrah is just regurgitating scripted comments here.

You can tell the remarks didn't originate in her brain because one can read them and actually make some sense of what Farrah is trying to say.

We suppose that's progress, in a way.

Going forward, we can only assume she'll just start holding the mic up to her vagina and letting it do all the talking. 

Sorry, too graphic?

As always, you can watch Teen Mom OG online to relive Farrah's time as one of reality TV's most bonkers stars.

Teen Mom Stars: A Comprehensive Guide to ALL Their Kids

The girls from Teen Mom & Teen Mom 2 became famous because of their babies, welcomed into the world at a very young age.

You could say they were 16 and Pregnant. All of them.

For better or worse, they persevered and went on and (in many cases) had additional ones! At parenting, some have fared well.

Others, fared ... not quite as overwhelmingly well.

Perhaps it's fitting that Jenelle Evans welcomed her third child one day before Chelsea Houska had her second, as these girls run the gamut!

Meanwhile, Kailyn Lowry just welcomed her third as well, while Teen Mom 2 newcomer Briana DeJesus is now a mom for the second time.

We're not here to be critical (that's what Instagram is for). We're just here to break down the nine stars and their unconventional families.

Unconventional, but beautiful and loving. <3

1. Sophia (Farrah Abraham and Derek Underwood)

Farrah abraham and sophia in makeup
Oh, Soph. Unlike many of her Teen Mom tot counterparts, Sophia lives the life of luxury, thanks to her mother, non-porn star Farrah Abraham. Seriously, the younger Abraham has her own clothing line, dabbles in child modeling, hires and fires people for her mom (you can't make that up), and receives $900 when the tooth fairy pays a visit. (Sophia's father, Derek, died in a car accident while Farrah was still pregnant; Derek's grave is the site of many memorable TM scenes, which some believe to be shamelessly orchestrated by Farrah). Sophia is going to be a handful when she grows up at this rate ... the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as they say.

2. Leah (Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley)

Amber and leah shirley
Amber Portwood is a rarity in the world of Teen Mom, as the OG has not birthed another child after daughter Leah. Probably for the best, given her devastating drug problems; Amber served a year and a half in prison. Leah's dad, Gary Shirley, has been there for her the entire time, and she seems to be well-adjusted as both Gary and Amber move on with their lives and new relationships - even if hers (with Matt Baier) has involved plenty of tension.

3. Carly (Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra)

Catelynn and tyler teen mom
When step-siblings turned lovers Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra made the decision to give their baby Carly up for adoption, it marked one of the most touching, bittersweet moments in reality TV history. What made it all the more incredible was that they stayed involved in her life - albeit with some bumps in the road - ever since, then got married and had another baby together years later. Which they kept.

4. Nova (Catelynn and Tyler)

Tyler baltierra catelynn lowell novalee hike pic
Tyler and Catelynn kept and are raising Novalee Reign Baltierra together, not that it's been easy. Catelynn's severe self-esteem issues and post-partum depression have been a major storyline for the couple in recent seasons ofTeen Mom: OG.

5. Bentley (Maci Bookout and Ryan Edwards)

Maci bookout and bentley edwards
Bentley, Maci Bookout and Ryan Edwards' first and only child, is much bigger than this these days, and the level of happiness in their lives has also grown expontentially. After a relationship with Edwards that was among the franchise's most disastrous, Maci met and married Taylor McKinney, who fathered two additional kids with Maci and has been an incredible stepdad to Bentley. Even Ryan has moved on and gotten engaged ... miracles do happen in this world.

6. Jayde (Maci and Taylor McKinney)

Maci bookout jayde and taylor mckinney photo
Maci and Taylor McKinney's first child together was a daughter, Jayde.
View Slideshow

Amber Portwood: Farrah Abraham SUCKS … But Her Replacement Might Be Worse!

Early Tuesday morning, Teen Mom OG star Amber Portwood welcomed her baby boy.

While she's excited and busy with her new baby, Amber always has time for her longstanding feud with Farrah Abraham.

And she's speaking about Farrah's firing ... and her replacement.

Amber Portwood with Baby Bump

Amber Portwood spoke to HollywoodLife.

"Everyone knows why Farrah’s not on the damn show."

While the exact story varies depending upon whom you ask, Amber is definitely not buying the "Viacom hate crimes" angle.

"She pushed her limits every season, she knew that she did."

Farrah was reportedly a nightmare for producers and others responsible for making the show.

Amber says that, eventually, enough was enough.

"And you can’t keep doing that."

Drama is the fuel that keeps reality television going, and Amber acknowledges that Farrah was nothing if not wildly dramatic.

"Yeah, it works for a little while, it brings some ratings."

Amber Portwood and Son

Amber explains that there are limits to how much of a real-world disaster you can be and still have people willing to work with you.

"But when you keep pushing back and it’s a big network, you can’t go too far."

Eventually, like a bear being harassed by a racist squirrel, MTV got tired of it.

"This is bigger than her."

But since Farrah has been claiming that this was all about her sex work, Amber thinks that Farrah may genuinely believe it.

"I think she didn’t realize that and she got booted for it."

But Amber won't lose any sleep over Farrah's departure.

"I’m just fine with it, s--t. I don’t care."

That's fair.

Sweet Baby James!

Reportedly, Teen Mom 3 star Mackenzie McKee is replacing Farrah on Teen Mom OG.

But Amber says that she is in the dark -- or at least that she cannot confirm anything.

"I don’t know what’s going on with that."

Obviously, the stars aren't going to comment until the network makes things nice and official.

"Again, everything’s up in the air."

Amber does suggest that MTV's cameras may have included her giving birth to her newborn boy.

"I can’t say that yet. I really don’t know if my birth will be filmed because I may have him before the due date, so it’s getting crazy."

Amber's due date was May 13, so she's absolutely right.

But we do wonder if cameras are rolling.

Leah and James

The biggest thing in Amber's life right now has nothing to do with her past, present, or future castmates.

She just gave birth!

As Amber revealed back in December, her son's name is James Andrew Glennon.

Huge congratulations to the whole family -- Amber, Andrew, baby James, and of course, Leah!

When Amber went into early labor over the weekend, we knew that the countdown had begun.

Amber Portwood Flaunts Major Cleavage

Obviously, Amber Portwood has had her issues over the years ... and even recently.

Among other things, her anger issues have made her interesting to watch on television, even as they have alarmed viewers.

A lot of fans are also concerned about her whirlwind romance with Andrew Glennon. Some even worried that he used her emotional vulnerability to become her rebound.

But she seems to be much happier with her current situation than she has been in a while.

And congratulations for the birth of her son are absolutely in order.

Farrah Abraham to Film Movie Based on Her Life: Yes, Really

Brace yourself, because we've got some great news here.

Some really wonderful, just truly terrific news about our girl Farrah Abraham.

Farrah on Instagram

No, she's not coming back to Teen Mom OG to terrorize producers and provide us with weekly dramatic nonsense, and no, she didn't miraculously become a reasonable, somewhat normal human being.

This is actually way better than any of that.

What Farrah is doing, believe it or not, is turning her life story into a feature film.

"Uh, wait," you may be thinking. "We already saw her life story on the screen, it was called Teen Mom and it was amazing."

Good point, friend, but you're missing a few key facts here.

One, she's not just making a movie out of her life story, she's making a movie out of her life story as described in her memoir, My Teenage Dream Ended.

Farrah Abraham Prom Photo

Two, it's not going to be Farrah herself being awful on TV, it's going to be a dramatized version of Farrah on ... well, probably TV still.

We can't imagine this would ever get a theatrical release, if she even follows through with making it at all.

Nope, this definitely feels like a made for TV movie, more specifically a Lifetime movie.

Honestly, this project has Lifetime movie written all over it. So much that if this was the 90s, Tori Spelling would be starring as Farrah.

Oh, and the third reason this is much different (and obviously way better) than Teen Mom is that Farrah put a whole lot of stuff in her book that never made it on that lovely reality show.

Farrah Abraham Red Hair

For instance, did you know that when she was dating Derek Underwood, Sophia's late father, he snuck into her bedroom one night after her family had gone to bed?

And that her father, Michael, caught them having sex, and he chased Derek out of the house with a knife?

She wrote that the whole thing "was really all his fault for trying to have sex with me in my house," so she tried to make him bail her dad out of jail.

He wouldn't do it, so to compromise, she had him buy her $50 worth of makeup.

That's just a tiny example of the kind of ups and downs that made up their relationship.

They frequently broke up and got back together, and she wrote that before his death, he'd started shoplifting and doing drugs.

Farrah Abraham Crying

She said that she never even told him that she was pregnant, that she'd meet up with him to chat but kept deciding that it wasn't the right time.

He passed away in a car accident when she was eight months pregnant.

She really struggled with his death -- that's something we definitely saw on Teen Mom -- and that's the whole meaning behind the title of her book.

Farrah claimed that she and Derek had always planned to get married and have kids, and that even though they were dealing with all that teenage drama, she held onto the dream that when she had the baby, everything would work out.

Obviously it did not.

Anyway, we first heard the news about the movie version of all this when Farrah posted a little flyer on Instagram.

Farrah movie casting

It's a casting notice for a movie "based off a true story, New York Times Best selling book and international sensation, Farrah Abraham."

She calls it "a memoir and international story that has touched many lives world wide."

In a quick statement to In Touch, she confirms that "I'm currently doing private castings and getting ready to make a memorable feature film."

"I look forward to have many fans who supported me through Teen Mom be part of the film."

According to the flyer, at this point, she's only looking for actors who already have IMDb pages, so if you were hoping to break into the business by acting in Farrah's life story, sorry about that.

But if you're a young actress who's already got her foot in the door and who thinks she can pull off dialogue about how your water breaking smells like your late boyfriend's semen ...

Well, you just may be in luck.

Farrah Abraham Explains Her Plastic Surgery and Porn Career, is Actually Articulate!

So Farrah Abraham ... well, she's sort of given us a gift.

And to be perfectly honest, you're not even a little prepared for it.

Farrah Abraham, Bending Back

A lot of things have happened with her in the past several months -- her decision to get back into the adult industry with those webcam shows, and the way she was subsequently fired from Teen Mom OG, for example.

Now, in a new video she filmed and slapped up on YouTube, she's telling the stories behind all that and more, in her own words, without producers or MTV cameras and without her trademark inability to communicate.

Yep, that's right -- there's no Farrah word salad here at all. It's very odd.

Really, it's a 14-minute video in which she just talks and makes sense the whole entire time. 

We told you that you weren't prepared.

To kick things off, she tells the story of how she found out she was pregnant with her daughter Sophia -- she went to Planned Parenthood to get a refill on her birth control, and they told her she was expecting.

"My mom used to say if I ever got pregnant, I'd be kicked out of the house, so I was more than scared to tell my mother," she recalls.

But instead of kicking her out, her mother, Debra Danielsen, "was like crying and said 'you know, I raised you to not kill something that's alive.'"

Which was apparently the discussion about Farrah's options with the pregnancy.

From that, she says she learned "that what you tell your kids really affects them and how they communicate with you."

Now, see, that's some classic Farrah delusion -- she's talking like she learned some big parenting lesson about talking to your children when she's out here telling Sophia about her porn career and inviting her along for her various vagina procedures.

Next, she discusses Sophia's late father, Derek Underwood, who passed away in a car accident when she was eight months pregnant.

Farrah Abraham Prom Photo

She says that event "literally crushed my life," and she even tears up talking about it all these years later.

On the topic of Debra's arrest -- the one where cops arrived to the house and Deb answered the door with knives in her hands -- she explains that it happened because her mother had accidentally hurt Sophia.

We've heard that before, but it's interesting to hear the story from this newly coherent Farrah!

What happened was that Deb was going through Farrah's mail, and when she got upset about it, Deb threw the mail, which included a package, and it landed on Sophia, who was in her car seat at the time.

When Sophia started crying, Farrah admits she "snapped," so she took her baby to a different room, and when she went back Deb started throwing the mail at her.

So to "break that cycle of abuse," she called the police, and we know the rest.

Debra Danielsen is sad

For a while, Debra wasn't allowed to be around Sophia at all, but after Derek's mother took Sophia from a babysitter and somehow traumatized her -- Farrah says "for two days she was traumatic" -- she dropped the case against her and they became close again.

Elsewhere in the video, she talks about how difficult her childhood was, how her parents had a terrible relationship and also how her family was racist and wouldn't let her be friends with anyone who wasn't white.

She ended up getting baptized at one point, but then immediately after that she says that she found herself hanging with a lot of porn stars and drug users, and that she still doesn't know how she ended up in that scene.

She says that she was "very vulnerable" at that time, and that being a porn star is not who she is.

"I'm sick and tired of trying to be so perfect to make the right choices," she says through tears, "and there's times when I was like 'is God real, why is this happening to me?'"

But in the end, she says that all those struggles brought her closer to God, because "God was really the only person there through some crazy stuff."

Farrah Abraham Cries on Teen Mom OG

She finally breaks down here -- she's always said that she experienced some really horrific things around the time she made her sex tape.

On the topic of plastic surgery, she reveals that "I really beat myself up about my body," and that she was able to find doctors who "will do whatever you want," but that "sometimes it's too much."

"I found myself so insecure," she admits. "I would literally stare at my face so much every day. That ate me up."

"When you're a shattered woman and picked apart to the core and you're just people pleasing ... I was falling apart."

About being fired, she says that the crew had turned on her when Teen Mom first came back on the air, after her sex tapes, and that it was hurtful because she'd known most of them since the 16 and Pregnant days.

"I was always the villain," she complains, because every time she filmed producers would "poke" and "push" her.

Farrah Lynn Abraham

In another particularly tragic moment, she discusses Debra again and how much she loves her, but that Deb has told her "that I don't love her and I don't know what love is, I don't have that in me."

In closing, she says that she wants so much to break that kind of cycle for her daughter, and that she wants to be "an influencer that influences change."

What a roller coaster of emotions, right?

It's clear that Farrah has been through a lot, and that she's still trying to work through all that. It doesn't excuse the seriously awful things she's said and done, but it does help explain it a bit.

Also, if she's capable of communicating as clearly as she does here, then why has she made us suffer for years?

Farrah Abraham’s Mom Talks at Length About Daughter’s Vagina

The Hollywood Gossip has talked about Farrah Abraham's vagina on far too many occasions.

We've had no choice, really, considering the Teen Mom OG star had surgery last year to rejuvenate this area of her body, publicizing the procedure for all to see because...

... well, we're not really sure why.

That's just how Farrah rolls.

Now, as much as we'd like to never discuss this topic again, Debra Danielsen has not given us that option.

Abraham has opened up to In Touch Weekly after her child's new vagina, discussing at length her take on Farrah's decision.

Scroll down if you really want to hear more about this...

1. That Fresh Feeling...

Farrah at the doctor
Abraham underwent vagina rejuvenation back in August of 2017. The procedure was performed with a wand that was inserted and moved back and forth for four minutes to tighten the walls of the uterus and was considered beneficial for sex because it makes the subject less wife. It also helps with moisture and lubrication.

2. Why Did She Do This?

Farrah and the doc
Abraham talked at length about the decision with Radar Online last October, saying that her skin was "thicker, better and stronger" and that she noticed improved "sexual satisfaction." (Clickon the above headline for more.)

3. But Who Would Have Sex with Farrah Abraham?

Farrah abraham flexes close up vmas 2016
It's a fair question. But not the topic we're focusing on at the moment.

4. Isn't She Only 26 Years Old?

Farrah abraham tries to be sexy
Yes, and this is why Abraham received a lot of backlash for the procedure. On its own, vaginal rejuvenation is nothing to mock or insult someone over. Many women may really benefit from it. You just don't often see someone this young undergo such a procedure because, to be frank, how much could a 26-year old's vagina really need to be tightened?

5. Why Did She Publicize It So Much?

Farrah abraham poses in intimate wear
Ah yes. Here we go. Now we're getting to the heart of the problem Farrah's mom, Debra Danielsen, says she has with her daughter's actions.

6. Says Farrah's Mom:

Debra danielsen on instagram
"This whole thing about having surgery on your labia - do you know what that does to me? I've taken a lot of women's study programs and it puts in my mind genital mutilation," she tells In Touch. And this was far from all she has to say on the subkect...
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Farrah Abraham Mom-Shames at Coachella: At Least I’M a Good Parent!

Look, everybody knows that Farrah Abraham is wild and wacky and all that. It's not new information at this point, not by a long shot.

But still, sometimes the things that come out of her mouth are just so insane that you can't help but stop and appreciate it.

Farrah Abraham at Coachella

Like, how is it even possible for her to be as delusional as she is sometimes?

Does she just lack all self-awareness? Is she perpetually confused? Is there some Farrah who is capable of acting like a normal human being in an alternate universe and we accidentally got this one?

It's hard to understand how Farrah is so Farrah-like, but here we are.

And man, this nonsense she's spouting now is something else ...

See, Farrah and her poor daughter Sophia are out in Palm Springs right now for Coachella.

Over the weekend, Farrah shared some photos of herself at the festival, promoting different products like her life depended on it -- though now that she's done with Teen Mom, her livelihood almost definitely depends on it.

Farrah Abraham with Sophia at Sephora

In one of the photos, she and Sophia posed with some products at Sephora, apparently leading some people to wonder if that dynamic mother-daughter duo would be doing Coachella together.

But Farrah needs you to know that that is not the case.

In an interview with Us Weekly, Farrah said that Sophia is "just so fun!", and that "we have henna, we have braids, it's like a girl party everyday."

"I mean, these are the moments right now that I love. I couldn't trade it for anything else."

That's pretty sweet, right?

But since the interview was actually done at Coachella, she felt the need to add that Sophia was in bed, not in attendance.

Farrah Abraham at Pool Party

"I just have to say," she told the magazine, "I'm sorry, the inner-mom and the critical parent in me is like, I'm at the Coachella festival and I have to say, when I see a newborn, I honestly don't think it's a safe place for children."

"That's why my daughter's at a resort, enjoying the pools and the country club with a nanny."

She explained that the area is "so serene and beautiful," but "I don't think that Coachella, with drugs and psychedelic sh-t, is safe for a kid to be around."

"I kind of question when I was reading on my way here, I was reading that some parents are saying, 'Yeah, bring your kids! It's fun for the kids.'"

Just so she's perfectly clear, she added "I honestly don't think it's safe for kids, so I have to disagree."

So this is Farrah Abraham discussing what is and is not a safe, healthy environment for children.

Farrah Abraham Red Hair

Farrah Abraham.

On Teen Mom, Farrah often left baby Sophia unattended in dangerous situations -- around stairs without gates, for instance.

She left Sophia on her bed as an infant (she fell off), and she also left her in the kitchen sink during a bath (she turned on the hot water and burned herself).

She waxed her eyebrows when she was a toddler, and she once said that it was healthy for them to spend time apart at that age so they could each do their own thing.

She let Sophia around her own mother, Debra Danielsen, when she sobbed and threatened to kill herself.

She's said that Debra was abusive, but she's left Sophia with her for weeks at a time.

Just last week, she brought her along when she got butt injections, and she even got her to film the occasion.

This is just a very, very short list of things that Farrah has done, but sure, bringing a kid to Coachella is the worst thing you could do as a parent, and she's totally fit to criticize you for it.

This girl ...

Farrah Abraham: Actually I AM Coming Back to Teen Mom!

Just days after claiming that Teen Mom OG ratings are down because she was fired, Farrah is taking pity on the show that she believes is on its last leg -- by speaking to Dr. Drew for the reunion special.

Now, she's taken to Instagram to explain why she's appearing, however, indirectly, on the show that she is suing for millions of dollars for wrongful termination.

There's a lot of word salad. This is Farrah we're talking about.

Farrah Abraham, Bending Back

"On last HOORAH with FARRAH @teenmom @mtv April 23rd."

It's worth noting that most people probably don't pronounce hoorah in a way that rhymes with Farrah, but some do. Either way, good effort.

"It's been a great 10 year era of Farrah for Teen Mom I always make the most out of life."

Note that she's not saying that it's been a great decade for her. She's saying that the era of her has been great for the show.

Farrah's assessments are always ... breathtaking.

"And I'm so blessed I got to be that fighter, the strong women, the honest single parent, showing motherhood can be glamorous, Joy, happiness, memories & no regrets."

Word Salad

"Life is a challenge but to be an advocate for a young innocent child,lead, guide, love, succeed, and give it your all is amazing, a once in a life time surprise."

That kind of depends upon how many children you have.

She then goes on to extol her own accomplishments:

"I'm blessed I graduated high school early, graduated college with 2 degrees, started 3 companies, have an international brand from all the support. ..."

Farrah's list of claims to fame continues:

"... Became a new York times best selling author, became [an] actress, became the best Farrah I can be, & travel the globe with my daughter."

Farrah and Sophia Abraham Selfie

Farrah reminds her fans and followers that, despite all of her achievements, she comes from humble origins.

"I started all of this from Council Bluffs Iowa."

She may be forgetting that humble origins are kind of assumed ... because she's famous for becoming a mother as a teenager.

"I hope my start into my adult self from teenager to adulthood shows you as it showed me I can achieve for more [than] I could ever imagine."

That is one hell of a sentence. It belongs in a gallery somewhere.

Farrah Abraham Models Lingerie With a Horse

"God is amazing and we have not one or no thing can get in the way of our life destiny to be great!"

Another gold-star Farrah sentence.

"Life is beautiful & I'm thankful I was the (1) out of 10 teen moms statistically to over come the challenges and struggles of teen parenthood."

That is ... not a very kind thing to say about her costars.

But it does fit with her self-image, which seems to always drive her to need to see herself as the most successful at anything that she attempts.

Farrah Abraham Lounges in a White Bikini

"I want to add the struggles of being a teen parent were only half the struggles I felt."

She then lists the other challenges that she faced.

"But the other struggles from production, being famous, being a leader, political immature s--t, the control & power trips from society really added more."

Honestly, she might deserve some recognition for not once saying "hate crimes" during this entire rant.

"[And] I have to say I rose about all the evil and all the hate by focusing on myself, loving, growing and developing what's next to better our world for future generations."

Yes, Farrah is shaping the youth of tomorrow. Or something.

"I will always improve social causes and improve our world!"

Farrah Abraham Poses in Intimate Wear

This was all prompted by The Ashley's report that Farrah would sit down with Dr. Drew to talk about ... well, her departure from the series that made her rich and famous. 

Farrah doesn't really explain why she's agreed to sit down for a segment that will air during the reunion special, but one wonders if she had intended to explain herself when she started.

As you can see from her post and from other things that she has written and said, sometimes Farrah's thoughts take interesting twists and turns.

(That can happen to anyone, but Farrah in particular seems to generate word salad that has little rhyme or reason)

Perhaps she will speak a little more clearly when the world sees her chat with Dr. Drew.

Farrah Abraham Gets Butt Injections, Has Daughter Film It, Is Still the Worst

Warning: this is weird. This is really, really weird.

But we're talking about Farrah Abraham, so hey, you probably figure that out already.

Farrah Abraham Red Hair

And if you happened to read the headline before mindlessly clicking on the photo of Farrah because you knew that whatever the story was about, it would be entertaining and ridiculous?

Well, then you know that we're in for a wild and crazy time.

Before we get into it though, it feels important to note that Farrah has never really understood that Sophia is a child and not a tiny adult.

She was waxing Sophia's eyebrows when she was three years old, and when she was four, she spent a lot of time away from her promoting her sex tape and getting heavy into the adult industry.

At the time, she explained that it was OK because Sophia "has her own life and is doing her own thing," and "it's healthy that we have a break" from each other.

Farrah and Sophia Abraham Selfie

Again, Sophia was four.

Farrah often has very adult conversations with her daughter present, and she pulled her out of school so she could "homeschool" her, which seems to have meant getting her into modeling and bringing her along to places she has no business being.

And that's what we're talking about now.

Farrah gets lots of plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures, just in case you missed the memo or if you haven't seen her face in the past few years.

She gets vaginal rejuvenation, she's had a few boob jobs, that sort of thing.

But this week, she decided to get some butt injections, you know, since summer is coming up and all.

Which would have been fine, but she went and brought poor Sophia along for her appointment.

And she brought her in there when she was actually getting the injections. And made her stand behind her. And film it.

As you can see in the video above, Sophia was right there to witness the whole thing, which is just not great.

The whole thing is basically an ad, so we won't bother transcribing the video -- it's just information about the injections, pretty boring stuff.

She did use a "mom life" hashtag in her caption though, which is pretty precious.

But obviously the thing everyone is zeroing in on with this video isn't the injections or the details about the procedure or anything like that -- it's long-suffering Sophia there in the back.

Farrah injections

And boy, do people have a lot of feelings about it.

"Your daughter should not think she has to do this stuff to her body," one person told her. "Keep her mind like a child as long as you can which u don't."

Can't argue that.

Someone told her that she's "the most disgraceful role model to that little girl," and another said that "teaching your daughter about ruining her body at such a young age is very improper."

"She doesn't see the damage she's causing to her child, consumed by money and greed," one of Farrah's followers wrote. "Sad."

Believe it or not -- just kidding, you'll definitely believe it -- there were several, several comments about how someone should call child protective services over this video.

Farrah, Sophia Abraham Pic

Don't worry though, Farrah herself jumped in the comments to explain everything.

"This is non-invasive just like blood work or getting shots," the former Teen Mom OG star said.

She added that the person doing the injections "did an amazing job and our children our curious so more power to Sophia learning about aesthetics and health."

Does she ... does she think that this is part of educating Sophia? Is this one of her homeschool activities?

Also, let's take a moment to consider the fact that the woman who wrote "our children our curious" is in charge of this kid's entire education.

As for Sophia herself, she commented on the video as well, writing "This was weird. I would do squats my momma."

Is this not the most bizarre story you've ever heard?

Farrah Abraham: Teen Mom Ratings Are Down Because I Got Fired!

Plenty of fans tuned in to watch Farrah Abraham get fired.

But ratings seemed to decline a bit following that episode.

Farrah says that Teen Mom OG has now run its course -- and people shoudl be more interested in the quality television programs that she's going to come out with.

Farrah Abraham Fired

We'll go into detail on Teen Mom ratings -- with specific numbers and episodes -- in a moment.

In an interview with RadarOnlineFarrah Abraham says that the falling Teen Mom ratings are to be expected. 

"It's no surprise that the Teen Mom ratings went down since I've left."

But she follows that with a message of ... compassion, we think.

"I know that other families rely on this show for income and I hope it continues."

F. Abraham

That's charitable of her, though she concludes that thought by saying:

"Even if it's now run its course."

Funny how she didn't seem to think that the series was pointless when they were still paying her.

"MTV has really ruined what could be an amazing show."

MTV created the show, but she explains how she believes that they "ruined" it.

"By bullying, ruining natural story lines, shaming, and interfering in the real lives of these parents and children."

Honestly? We're kind of impressed that she managed to avoid accusing anyone of "hate crimes." That's character development.

Farrah Abraham Models Lingerie With a Horse

"I'm happy I separated myself."

Wow, that sounds like a very creative way of saying "got fired."

Farrah then talks about her hopes and dreams.

"I hope to produce and develop award-winning shows as my 10 years of experience has me confident of what our future needs."

She doesn't just mean her livestreamed sex shows, we think.

Brace yourselves for this next line:

"I am quality, authentic, real."

Wild.

She says that her future in television will reflect those qualities.

"And I will only create shows, films, and digital content that delivers that."

Word Salad

TV By The Numbers has the ratings for Teen Mom OG, so these are the stats to which Farrah is referring.

The episode that featured Farrah's long-awaited firing took place on March 12, and brought in 1,135,000 viewers.

In contrast, for the next episode, which did not feature Farrah, viewership dropped to 1,097,000 on March 19.

On March 26, 1,044,000 fans tuned in. On April 2, numbers were way down, with only 992,000 watching.

The season finale on April 9 did see those numbers rise again, with 1,250,000 viewers, finally surpassing the ratings of Farrah's last day.

But that was a season finale.

Your Girl Farrah

Honestly? That dip in ratings looks significant, but it doesn't really spell out the "decline" that Farrah seems to see.

It looks more like interest spiked, just like how more people start watching a soap opera when the show teases that a major character is about to die.

Just like how people will slow down on the road to see a trainwreck, they tuned in to watch Farrah get confronted about how she treats the show's producers.

That doesn't mean that her firing spells doom for the series, folks.

In other news, our advise for anyone seeking to find a romantic partner is this: find someone who describes you like Farrah Abraham describes herself.

Amber Portwood Throws Shade at Farrah Abraham: We’re Better Off Without Her!

It's been almost five months since Farrah Abraham was fired from Teen Mom OG as a result of her continued refusal to quit performing in live-streaming sex shows.

We still don't know what the show will look like without the famously unpredictable Farrah, but her number one rival Amber Portwood says fans can expect the TMOG to come back stronger than ever.

Amber Portwood, Farrah Abraham

Amber spoke out on life after Farrah in an interview with In Touch this week and to the surprise of absolutely no one, she's not exactly fiending for more Abraham in her life:

"We're doing good without Farrah," Amber told the tabloid this week.

Yes, it seems filming is underway, and Amber feels the whole process is going more smoothly without Farrah.

Of course, TMOG is unlike most other reality shows in that the cast spends very little time under the same roof, and their storylines mostly take place in separate states.

So it's not like Amber can really say for sure if the show will suffer in Farrah's absence.

Amber Portwood and Farrah Abraham

But apparently, the response she's been seeing on social media leads Portwood to believe that fans are mostly in favor of the decision to kick Abraham to the curb:

"We still have our fans and some of them are really happy about it, so I can't knock that," Amber said.

Farrah, of course, strongly disagrees:

"You could take all the girls on all the series, but none can bring or do as much as I do for the series," she told Us Weekly in response to recent rumors that she would be replaced by Mackenzie McKee.

The crazy part is, Farrah might be right.

The most famous clash between Amber and Farrah came during a reunion show taping in 2016, when the ladies famously almost engaged in a physical altercation.

Farrah Abraham Red Hair

Things calmed down a bit in the months that followed, but there's still a good deal of tension between the former co-stars.

Earlier this year, Farrah went off on the subject of Amber's pregnancy, accusing her of pretending that it was a surprise and receiving a bonus from producers for getting knocked up:

Amber, just f--king admit you planned your pregnancy. Lmao this is so pathetic," Abraham tweeted.

"F--K TEEN MOM! Enjoy the bonus for your new kid and pay your child support!"

We're sure some fans are happy to see Farrah go - but it won't be easy to find a replacement that can bring that level of drama.

Watch Teen Mom OG online to remind yourself just how bonkers things could get during the Farrah years.

Michael Abraham: Tyler Baltierra Lies! I Never Tried to Kick His Ass!

Last week, Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra appeared on Kailyn Lowry's Coffee Convos podcast for a surprisingly candid interview that touched on a wide range of topics.

The portions in which Catelynn and Tyler discussed their desire to have another baby rightfully received the most attention, but there were plenty of gems hidden throughout the episode.

Tyler Baltierra Is Mad

Take for example, Tyler's account of his fight with Michael Abraham, father of former Teen Mom OG star and A-list cam girl, Farrah Abraham.

After describing Farrah's family as "a whole different breed" (an apt statement, if ever there was one), Baltierra claimed that Michael challenged him to a physical fight on the set of a TMOG reunion special.

“Michael is actually a very interesting character,” Tyler said on the podcast.

“I never actually told anybody this but he physically got in my face and wanted to fight me about two reunions ago!”

Not one to take anything lying down (unless it's verbal abuse from his daughter, in which case, he smiles and asks for more), Michael issued a statement to The Ashley's Reality Roundup, in which he offered his side of the story:

Michael Abraham Photo

“The reason why Tyler ‘never actually told anyone’ is because it NEVER HAPPENED,” Michael wrote.

“Everyone knows that if that would have happened the production company and MTV would have aired it as a public relations stunt. The world knows that MTV films everything and everybody at all reunion shows.”

We hate to say it, as Michael is generally not to be trusted, but that's a pretty solid argument.

As for Tyler's claim that the on-set security pushed Michael onto a couch, Abraham says that scuffle only took place in Tyler's mind:

"I have NEVER been pushed down on a couch by security at any reunion show filming,” Michael wrote.

Tyler Baltierra Selfie

“The only time reunion security had to do anything with me physically was when they were protecting me during the time that Matt Baier attacked and assaulted me three reunion ago."

Ah, yes. Who could forget the famous Farrah vs. Amber fight?

It really wasn't all that long ago, so it's pretty funny that Michael is acting like it's just preposterous that anyone in his family would throw down in the presence of Dr. Drew.

Anyway, Killer Mike goes on to actually praise the Baltierras, and he claims that over the years, he's formed a close relationship with both Tyler and Catelynn.

"It’s a shame that Tyler and Cate have to make up stories like this,” Michael’s statement continued.

Tyler and Catelynn Post-Therapy

"The last time I was face-to-face with them I shook his hand and hugged her to mend our relationship after the strain that Matt’s assault on me caused between everyone on the show. 

"I’ve also gone to the extent of complimenting him (Tyler) as being an excellent father this last year repeatedly on social media as he cared for Nova during the time Cate was in rehab.”

Michael concluded his lengthy commentary on the matter by claiming that he and Tyler are two peas in a pod.

We're guessing Ty won't be taking that as a compliment:

"Tyler and Cate’s dad Dave are just like me– we will do anything to love, care and protect our daughters,” Michael said. 

Tyler Baltierra and Nova

“It’s so sad that even after we (Farrah and her family) have moved on and have wished everyone the very best, the hate from others continues and there is no valid reason for it."

He added:

"We are extremely happy and living our lives in a healthy and positive way, why can’t everyone else do the same?”

Hmm ... a surprisingly non-psychotic-sounding statement from a usually psychotic source.

Of course, Michael has successfully convinced himself that Farrah freakin' Abraham is an ideal daughter, so it's important to bear in mind that the man suffers from some pretty severe delusions.

Watch Teen Mom OG online to remind yourself of the many ways in which the Abrahams are not of this planet.