Archive for the ‘Jersey Shore’ Category

Jen Harley: Ronnie Magro Needs to Quit Jersey Shore NOW!

If you've been watching Jersey Shore Family Vacation, you're probably well aware that the relationship between Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Jen Harley is far from healthy.

Ron is prone to fits of anger (or "ron-pages," if you prefer), but for the most part, fans have piled the bulk of the blame on Jen -- and for good reason.

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Jen Harley Image

After all, this is the woman who dragged Ron in her car during an argument, leaving him badly injured.

The cause of the altercation was Jen's previous batsh-t behavior, which includes disappearing with their daughter and sending Ron on a mad search across Las Vegas, like he was stuck in some completely non-funny version of The Hangover.

Needless to say, Jen and Ron have a lot of problems.

Jen Harley and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro

In fact, it sounds as though there are only two paths forward for little Ariana's parents at this point:

They can either break up or begin therapy and commit themselves to the hard work of tearing their relationship down to its foundations and beginning anew.

Of course, Jen doesn't see it that way.

She thinks the solution to her many romantic problems is easy and obvious:

Ronnie Magro, Girlfriend

According to Jen, it's all Ron's fault, and he can fix everything by simply quitting Jersey Shore.

Cutting off one's sole source of income shortly after welcoming a child may sound foolish, but Jen explained the brilliance behind her plan while she was bored on a recent flight and decided to host an Instagram AMA:

“So bored! Another 2 hours left!! Entertain me! Ask away, be nice,� Jen wrote.

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Girlfriend

Fans were quick to oblige, and while most of the questions were along the lines of "WTF is your deal?" some offered more nuanced inquiries:

“I know you won’t answer this but how do you like being on Jersey Shore,� one fan asked.

“Honestly the show has been the route [sic] to all our problems,� Jen answered.

“Would you want Ron to quit JS to make ur relationship better and peaceful?� another asked.

 
Ronnie and Jen Harley

“DUH,� Jen replied, in not-at-all-obnoxious fashion.

In case there was any doubt about Jen's distaste for the show that made her (in)famous, she went on to make it quite clear that she's not a fan:

“How do you feel seeing yourself on Jersey Shore?� another follower asked.

Jen Harley Instagram Image

“I legit do not watch the show."

Hmm ... you might want to tune in this week, Jen.

The show will give you an idea as to why total strangers cross the street when they see you approaching.

Just a thought.

Jenni Farley and Roger Matthews Celebrate Anniversary, Call Divorce Into Question

On Saturday night, Roger Matthews and Jersey Shore cast member Jenni "JWOWW" Farley went out to dinner in celebration of their third wedding anniversary.

The setting looked romantic and the two sides both looked pretty happy.

But there was just one small detail that seemed a bit off about this evening out...

JWoww and Roger Mathews at Dinner

... Matthews and Farley are getting a divorce.

In late September, it was revealed that Farley filed documents for this sort of legal split in Ocean City, New Jersey, citing “irreconcilable differences� as the reason for the break-up.

The official complaint read as follows:

The Plaintiff and the Defendant have irreconcilable differences which have caused the breakdown of the marriage for a period of at least six months which make it appear that the marriage should be dissolved and that there is no prospect of reconciliation.

There have been no reports since of infidelity by either party.

It mostly seems as if Farley's busy schedule, exacerbated by new seasons of Jersey Shore: Vacation, simply got in the way of the couple spending quality time together.

JWOWW and Company

But Matthews has been adamant that he can win Farley back over -- and that appears to have been his intention behind this anniversary-themed dinner date.

"Rome wasn’t built in a day," he wrote as a caption to the first image in this article.

This is a pretty clear reference to Matthews committing himself to reconciling with his estranged wife, no matter how long it may take.

Simply put, said Matthews in an Instagram video after news of the divorce went viral, "I am going to win my wife back."

He added at the time:

"I'm going to win her affection back, I am going to win her love back.

"I have no intentions on being a single dad. We're in counseling so there is hope. It ain't over 'till the fat lady sings."

JWoww and Roger Matthews

Farley and Matthews share two kids, a daughter named Meilani and a son named Greyson.

"Praying for a better tomorrow," Roger captioned his aforementioned, continuing:

"Sorry world, I’m taking a day off from praying for you today and I’m just gonna pray for my family. Hope springs eternal."

He sure does sound sad and sincere.

However, a source recently said that Farley has no intention of rekindling this romantic flame.

J. Farley

"She was just unhappy, and she wasn’t in love with him anymore,� this source told Radar Online a day after the split was confirmed, adding:

"Roger has been trying everything he can to change her mind, but her mind is made up. She’s done.�

Is she, however?

Along with the date photo above, Roger posted a video of the still-husband and wife from their evening out.

They are walking to a white, pink flower-adorned horse-drawn carriage in the footage.

Roger Mathews and JWOWW Photo

"The horse, oh my God," JWOWW says.

"Your chariot awaits," Mathews responds. "Let me get that door for you, babe. Happy anniversary."

"Oh, why thank you. Look at that," JWOWW then said, spotting a bouquet of flowers.

"These are for you," Mathews replies.

So... what do you think, folks?

Might there be some hope here after all?

Jen Harley: Ronnie Magro Has Forgiven Me for Almost Killing Him!

Jersey Shore star Ronnie Ortiz Magro has gone through some rough times with Jen Harley.

And by rough, we mean that time that Ronnie got dragged by a car. Ronnie went to the hospital, and Jen got her mugshot taken. It was scary.

Despite everything, however, Jen is making sure that the world knows that they're still together and going strong.

Kissed by Ronnie

Jen Harley took to Instagram to share an edited photo and to gush about her relationship.

"How we are all the time," she writes about her relationship with Ronnie.

"We went through a rough time," she vastly understates while not seeming to take responsibility for it.

"But," she continues. "We are strong and the best we’ve ever been."

Jen concludes: "I love you and have your back always."

Jen Harley and Ronnie Ortiz Magro still going strong on instagram

Jen then writes "LOVERS" in all caps, tagging herself and Ronnie in case there was any doubt.

That was not all.

Jen also made it clear that she and Ronnie went on a recent family walk through New York City's Central Park.

In addition to sharing glimpses of the skyline and of the greenery, she also posed for a few photos.

She had their precious 6-month-old baby, Ariana, with her.

Jen Harley and Baby Ariana Take a Stroll in the Park

Ariana is growing up so quickly!

She and Ronnie also had her first child, Mason, along for the walk.

This stroll through the park took place on Thursday, October 4.

The following day, October 5, was Mike Sorrentino's sentencing in his tax evasion trial.

Ronnie, like many of the Jersey Shore stars, attended in a show of emotional support.

Ronnie Ortiz Magro in the park

Ronnie and Jen have had a tumultuous relationship.

Earlier this year, shortly after their daughter Ariana was born, Ronnie accused Jen of having cheated on him.

Then, in June, the police were called after a dispute between the two of them became worryingly heated.

It was also in June that Jen Harley was arrested for dragging Ronnie with a car.

As you may recall, he was trying to leave the car when she reportedly sped away, dragging him and causing him to be hospitalized with some gross-sounding wounds.

But Jen avoided real consequences after prosecutors dropped the case. And she and Ronnie are trying to make it work.

Ronnie and Jen Harley

There is a difference between working through a rough patch and staying in a toxic or violent relationship.

A lot of parents seem to think that staying in a toxic relationship is worth it for the sake of a child -- to give that child two parents.

The reality is too often that children will grow up seeing this toxic relationship, which can harm their development and also influence how that child views relationships as an adult.

(Some will repeat their parents' mistakes -- others will avoid that at all costs, but may develop other issues)

Are Ronnie and Jen really doing Ariana any favors by staying together? Maybe ... or maybe not.

Ronnie Magro, Girlfriend

For now, though, it looks like they're trying their best to stay together.

It's definitely easier than co-parenting their baby as a pair of exes.

We certainly hope that the two of them manage to avoid any future "rough patches."

(And by that, we definitely mean that we hope that absolutely no one physically assaults anyone else, particularly with a car and asphalt)

Baby Ariana is innocent and deserves her parents at their best.

The Situation: Sentenced to 8 Months in Prison!

Forgive the most obvious pun in the history of writing, but it simply must be done.

And here it goes:

Mike Sorrentino officially finds himself in a bad situation.

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino Picture

As sorry as we are for going there, we're guessing this Jersey Shore mainstay is even more sorry at the moment for having not paid his taxes back in the day.

He has been sentenced to eight months in jail as a result.

The MTV personality and his brother Marc were indicted in September 2014.

Then, in January of this year, they pleaded guilty to one count of tax evasion and actually faced a five-year prison sentence. (Marc was sentenced to 24 months in prison on Friday.)

Fast forward seven days to this morning and The Situation was accompanied to the courthouse by fiancee Lauren Pesce.

All the familiar Jersey Shore names -- Jenni “JWoww� Farley, Nicole “Snooki� Polizzi, Deena Cortese, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Vinny Guadagnino, Pauly “DJ Pauly D� DelVecchio and Angelina Pivarnick -- were all spotted on the scene as well.

So Sorrentino at least had plenty of support when he learned his fate.

A Confused Situation

On top of the eight-month prison sentence, Mike must also complete 500 hours of community service and was given $123,913 in restitution already paid, plus a fine of $10,000 that must be paid within 30 days.

The day before the sentencing, Snooki told Us Weekly that the cast was “hoping for the best," adding of The Situation:

“He’s just such a good person. He changed for the better. He’s a totally different person. He doesn’t deserve this right now, but obviously you gotta get that done."

Sorrentio and Pesce are allegedly planning a prison wedding at some point within the next year, as Mike tries to give himself something positive to look forward to in light of this news.

Mike Sorrentino Proposes to Lauren Pesce

In pre-sentencing memos obtained by the Associated Press yesterday, Sorrentino’s lawyer argued he should receive probation, stating that the MTV star played a minimal role in the supposed financial conspiracy ...

... and has worked diligently to overcome substance abuse in the time since his arrest.

Conversely, prosecutors asked for a jail sentence of 14 months, arguing that such time would send the message that “tax fraud will be met with real punishment."

They also noted that Sorrentino’s substance addiction didn’t stop him from structuring cash deposits to avoid government scrutiny.

Sorrentino has been to rehab on two occasions to try and overcome this addiction.

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino Image

Earlier this year, he told People Magazine that he has “worked so hard to turn my life around and be the best person I can be," adding the following of appearing on Jersey Shore: Family Vacation Season 2.

“I had a very strong foundation for my recovery with over two years [sober] when I entered the house.

"But I did have to challenge myself to go out and film a whole season of Jersey Shore and have fun without alcohol — to show the youth out there that it is possible.�

The Situation's status for Season 3 of this reality show revival is unknown right now.

But it isn't looking good.

Jersey Shore Recap: Ronnie GETS DRAGGED BY A FREAKIN’ CAR!!!

Buckle up, readers!

Because on Jersey Shore: Family Vacation last night, one cast members was unbuckled from his seat in the car and prepared to exit...

... when his girlfriend and baby mama sped away and dragged this individual down the road for a long period of time, resulting in a few ugly wounds and an arrest for the violent perpetrator.

From Jersey Shore

Have you figured out the two people involved yet?

They were Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Jen Harley.

Shocking, right?

Following several episodes in which the reality stars went back and forth in vicious fashion - including one confrontation that ended with Jen spitting in Ronnie's face - this relationship hit it physical and emotional climax on Thursday evening's installment.

It all started after everyone except Ronnie and Jen headed back to New Jersey.

jen/ronnie

“I’m a little concerned about leaving Ron,� said a prescient Vinny Guadagnino at one point early on, adding of Ronnie and his custody battle with Jen:

“We did our best setting him up with the tools that he needed to succeed. He has a lawyer now, so he has a good support system around him. We can just hope for the best.�

Alas, the worst transpired.

As previously detailed on The Hollywood Gossip, Jen was arrested back on June 24 and charged with domestic battery.

(Self-congratulatory side note: THG's headline was featured on last night's episode!)

THG on Jersey Shore!

According to various reports, she and Ronnie got into an argument in the car on the way home from a barbecue.

Just as Ronnie was attempting to exit the passenger seat and extricate himself from the situation... Harley reportedly stepped on the gas and actually dragged him down the road for at least several feet.

(The couple's infant daughter, naturally, was in the backseat at the time.)

Harley was booked on a charge of domestic battery at the time -- and here is her mug shot:

Jen Harley Mug Shot

The actual footage of this incident was unavailable, of course.

We never saw any of it play out.

But we did see the reaction of the Jersey Shore cast to this crazy situation.

“The relationship is toxic,� Vinny said. “It’s insane staying in it.�

“Homeboy is destroyed right now,� JWOWW said. “He texted me yesterday [saying] he’s at urgent care.�

“Literally, flesh was coming out of his arm. It was not okay,� said Snooki, while Deena added that Ronnie’s face was “all f-cked up.�

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro with Ariana

Once the cast members reunited at the house in Jersey, Ronnie FaceTimed in from Las Vegas with his arm in a sling.

He was scheduled to spend time with them back East, but all agreed that he was probably best served to just chill by himself and focus on his own effed up life for awhile.

“He just needs to sit this one out, work on himself,� Vinny said. “Hopefully, this was a huge wake-up call for him and he can just figure it out on his own.�

“I love, love, love Ron,� Jenni added. “It’s just like, one of those crazy cousins or brothers or sisters that you have that you wish just made better life choices.�

Ronnie on a Break

Tragically, however, it doesn't appear as if Ronnie took any of this advice.

Despite the arrest... despite the arm in a sling... despite the lost flesh... he and Harley are back together.

Altogether now: SIGH.

Snooki Goes OFF on Trolls Attacking Her Daughter’s Appearance!

Snooki ihas always been quite the character. As we've seen on the new season of Jersey Shore, not everything has changed.

But these days, Snooki is a mother.

And when mom-shamers descend upon her in a frenzy over her 4-year-old's appearance, she's not afraid to clap back.

Snooki and Giovanna

Snooki attended Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's wedding shower, also known as the "Hitchuation."

On Instagram, she shared a beautiful photo of her daughter, Giovanna, with Jwoww's daughter, Meilani.

"Here’s a pic of us at our first red carpet event," Snooki jokes in the caption.

These precious girls do look like their mothers. It's very much a "mini me" situation.

Snooki's joke continues: "We were so young. @jwoww"

Giovanna Marie and Meilani Alexandra

This sweet photo of 4-year-old Giovanna Marie and Meilani Alexandra earned the expected praise and adoration.

Unfortunately, it also attracted some very strange, disturbing criticism.

"Girl. You have money dress your girl better. She’s beautiful but needs to look nicer," one troll demanded.

That troll continued: "You take time to do your hair face and dress do the same for her."

Another mom-shamer wrote: "Kids hair is crazy."

Snooki claps back at mom-shamers 01

Snooki actually replied to these haters.

"Mind your own business tho," Snooki replies. That is some pretty good advice.

"I let my daughter pick her own outfits," she explains.

Snooki affirms: I let her express herself."

"Are you a mother?" Snooki asks. "Worry about your own damn kids, and let us live."

Snooki claps back at mom-shamers 02

"She’s 4 god damn years old, f— off"

To the "Kids hair is crazy" jab, Snooki also had a retort.

She simply replied: "Let her live."

A fan chimed in that they would "rather have my daughter not give a damn what any judgmental snobs think about her."

"Amen, dude," Snooki agreed. "Humans are such d--ks i fear for my kids in the future …"

Meilani Alexandra and Giovanna Marie

To hear some people tell it, Snooki's 4-year-old daughter's cute look heralds the collapse of civilization.

"That’s the problem with the world today u have no shame!" one terrible commenter laments.

"Your [sic] the mom who doesn’t bathe her kid daily, who doesn’t help her brush her teeth," the hater clames.

The shamer continues: "The one whose kids wear the same clothes 2 days in a row because your too busy on social media or doing your own hair and makeup."

"You spent half your morning on your eyebrows," this troll claims: "But couldn’t wash or even brush your kids hair."

The shamer concludes: "You should be ashamed and I’m glad these people are calling you out!"

Snooki at 2018 VMAs

A decade ago, we would never have imagined saying this, but ... it really does sound like Snooki is a good mom.

Some people, particularly public figures, obsess over public perception and force their very small children to dress like fancy adults.

Giovanna looks absolutely adorable in these photos, but that is beside the point. Even if she looked a little out of place, it would be a good thing.

She is literally a 4 year old child. She doesn't need to dress to meet someone's weird, unhealthy expectations of what celebrity kids should look like.

We hope that these mom-shamers don't have children of their own. Growing up in their households sounds ... suffocating.

Roger Mathews to Jenni Farley: Please Give Me a Second Chance!

Jersey Shore Family Vacation was always destined to result in a breakup or two, but we never imagined that the marriage of Jenni "JWoww" Farley would be one of the casualties.

Yes, in case you haven't heard, earlier this week, Farley filed for divorce from her husband, Roger Mathews.

JWoww and Roger Mathews

The move shocked fans, as Jenni and Roger's appeared to be one of the most stable Shore relationships.

(Of course, that bar has been set pretty low by the likes of Ronnie Magro and Jen Harley, but that's a conversation for another time.)

Anyway, it seems that Jenni's decision to end her marriage had nothing to do with any cheating or abuse on Roger's part.

Rather, as Roger explains in the video below, the couple simply "fell into repetitive pattern" that didn't work for either of them.

Yes, Mathews is being 100 percent candid with his Instagram followers on the issue of his marital difficulties.

He's confirmed that Jennis has filed for divorce, but he says he still hopes that their relationship can be salvaged.

Cementing his place as the most likable of the likable Shore husbands, Roger even opened his video with a joke:

"Alright, so here you go bloodthirsty bastards who have to know what's going on," Mathews said.

JWOWW and Roger Mathews in the Car

"You're the same people who go to a hockey game to see a fight break out and go to Nascar to see somebody wreak in a car and get mangled.

"Nah, I'm kidding some of you are probably actually genuinely concerned. I appreciate that."

Mathews added that he's "not done fighting" for his marriage.

"I am going to win my wife back," Roger said.

JWoww and Roger Matthews

"I'm going to win her affection back, I am going to win her love back. 

"I have no intentions on being a single dad. We're in counseling so there is hope. It ain't over 'till the fat lady sings."

Mathews captioned the video:

"Praying for a better tomorrow. Sorry world, I’m taking a day off from praying for you today and I’m just gonna pray for my family. Hope springs eternal."

Roger Mathews and JWOWW Photo

Yes, folks, it's the rare reality TV breakup that legitimately bums us out.

It's tough to tell through the lens of a show like Shore, but it always seemed that Jenni and Roger were genuinely in love, and genuinely committed to making their marriage work.

Regardless of which path they choose, we wish all the best for Jenni and Roger going forward.

Jersey Shore Recap: A Bromance for the Ages

Jersey Shore: Family has been all about relationships on Season 2.

We've watched as Ronnie and Jen Harley have screamed and yelled at each other, with fists and saliva occasionally flying back and forth between the parents of poor little Ariana.

Jersey Shore Family Vacation

We've also been present when JWOWW filed to divorce Roger Matthews and when she had a major falling out with the other love in her life, Snooki.

But all this focus on affection and romance still didn't prepare us for Thursday night's finale...

... on which Pauly D and Vinnie got married!

Yes, MARRIED!

For real! Sort of!

Last week, of course, the men sent the ladies off to the airport under the assumption they were right behind them. But they lied. And stayed behind to fit in one more "guys night," making the absolute most of their testosterone-fueled time together.

In a manner of speaking.

Vinny as a Bride

At one point early on, Pauly D popped the question of a lifetime to Vinny Guadagnino, making a mockey of the entire concept of marriage and asking for his hand in this blessed union.

He said yes, and the two headed to a local chapel to make their bromance nice and legal.

Mike and Ronnie attended Pauly and Vin's brommitment ceremony, with The Situation holding the cake and, naturally, eating most of it while the vows were exchanged.

From there, Pauly placed a gold band on Vinny's finger, although the new husband wasn't thrilled over the rather plain looking ring.

"The guy is covered in diamonds," he told the camera. "Like, you could've given me a little bit of ice. C'mon!"

This was their first fight as newlyweds.

Taking Vinny as His Husband

Of course, the real point of this supposed wedding was to given the fellas a reason to party on The Strip one final time.

And to say things such as this, courtesy of The Situation:

"Right now, it is madness. I feel like I'm in The Matrix right now, dodging all the thotties."

"I feel like I'm at one of Pauly's gigs," added Ronnie. "This whole cabana is DTF!"

And Vinnie: "They say it's the thought that counts, but right now, I'm counting thots."

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro with Ariana

On a more serious note, meanwhile, Ronnie chose to stock his house with all-new baby supplies for his infant daughter, following a heated altercation with her mom. Yet again.

"With everything being so crazy with Jen and the baby, I think that me and Jen need to work on ourselves separately,� he explained, adding:

“I’m just in the mindset of not really thinking about me and Jen, I’m just thinking about the baby.

"Jen just moved into the other house and she has all the baby stuff, and I want Ariana to have everything that she needs, the basics."

Enlisting the assistance of his male pals, Ronne proceeded to go on a major diaper and car seat run.

"I’m very proud of Ron,� said Mike. “He’s taking steps to address some of the life situations that he’s facing. He’s really going through it. His life is, unfortunately, similar to a dumpster fire."

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Ariana

Is Ronnie really a changed man?

Does he really have a renewed focus on his job as a parent?

We'll see on Season 3 of Family Vacation, as well as on the Internet over the next few months.

But it sounds promising so far.

"I could sit around and be miserable and mopey, but what does that solve?� he said at one point, concluding:

“All that’s doing is breaking me down more and killing me inside when I’m supposed to be becoming a better person and a better father for my daughter...

"When I do get Ariana and she starts spending time with me, I want her to have everything that she needs."

Jenni Farley and Roger Mathews: The Marriage is Over!

For the duration of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, we've watched the ugly and contentious relationship unfold between Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Jen Harley.

But it turns out another romance was fizzling out far away from the view of MTV cameras.

We can now confirm it is all over be Jenni "JWOWW" Farley and Roger Matthews after three years as husband and wife.

JWoww and Roger Matthews

The reality star and her soon-to-be ex got married in October of 2015 and are the parents to a pair of kids, They have two children, Meilani Alexandra, 3, and Greyson Valor, 2.

According to multiple sources, Farley is the one who filed the divorce documents, citing “irreconcilable differences� on the papers that were entered into court on Wednesday, September 12, in Ocean County, New Jersey,

Neither Farley nor Mathews have commented on the split just yet.

But this is what the official complaint reads:

“The Plaintiff and the Defendant have irreconcilable differences which have caused the breakdown of the marriage for a period of at least six months which make it appear that the marriage should be dissolved and that there is no prospect of reconciliation."

woww

Farley and Mathews both appeared on numerous seasons of Jersey Shore, although it's perhaps notable he did not join her for either season of this Family Vacation revival.

He remained at home with the children instead.

Farley and Mathews were last spotted together a mere two days ago being "tourists" in a video posted to the latter's Instagram account.

Mathews' current bio, meanwhile, may very well offer up a clue as to what has transpired between the pair...

... or at least who is to blame for their break-up.

"Good father. Horrible husband. Worst lover ever. 10 [feet] tall and bulletproof. Figuring life out," it reads.

Could he have cheated?

Roger Mathews and JWOWW Photo

In January of this year, Mathews shared a long message to his wife on Instagram --  but noted that she wouldn’t see it because she was filming the reality show, hinting that the separation caused by this filming may have led to their actual separation.

"Just the next chapter in our story. In case you missed it, it goes something like this," he wrote.

"2010 two selfish assholes meet each other in a bar, the two begin to date and continue to party hard, it isn’t all cupcakes and unicorns, neither takes any sh-t and both are used to running the show. 3 years in they get engaged, still no sh-t taking and not a unicorn to be seen...

"a year later they have their first child out of wedlock just to piss off traditional people and party with Satan a bit more.

"2015 they get married and announce they are pregnant with a son, probably fought at the wedding.

"2015 to present they remain vigilant and defy the odds of reality tv, flawed personalities, alpha demeanors, hot tempers and an inferior penis and remain married while raising their two children to the best of their abilities while still butting heads over the dumbest sh-t."

(Did he just write inferior penis?)

JWOWW and Roger Mathews in the Car

Continued Matthews here:

"2018 one has a mid life crisis and flies to Miami with old friends and leaves said husband for a really jacked dude from the club named Billy Bad Ass that can flex his pec muscles to the tune of Jingle Bells. Ok. I made that last part up.

"Blessed to have what we have and grateful for it. Mom makes much of that happen."

And concluded Matthews:

"Love you Mom. 

"(She won’t even see this for a month cause they aren’t allowed cell phones so if you see her in the club please recite this entire post to her by memory, scream it as loud as you possibly can while dancing like a complete idiot to hold her attention and focus.)

Make of all that what you will.

Mike Sorrentino & Lauren Pesce: Planning a PRISON Wedding?!

On the current season of Jersey Shore (Jersey Shore Family Vacation Part 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold, or whatever they're calling it), most of the drama has revolved around the ongoing conflict between Ronnie and his baby mama.

But there's another story that has just as much potential for tragedy that's being mostly glossed over, presumably because it's just too depressing for the reality sitcom vibe of Shore's second iteration.

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino Image

We're talking, of course, about the possibility that Mike Sorrentino might go to prison for a very long time.

Back in January, Sorrentino pled guilty to tax fraud, and he now faces up to five years in prison.

The fact that The Situation has sobered up and has mostly been on his best behavior (with plenty of video evidence to show to the sentencing judge) will probably help his cause, but it still seems unlikely that he'll be able to avoid prison altogether.

Which is what makes the latest news about his upcoming wedding so surprising:

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino & Lauren Pesce

At first, it was widely reported that Sorrentino and Lauren Pesce were rushing the wedding planning process so that they could be safely hitched by the time Mike mike gets shipped off to the pokey.

Now, Radar Online is reporting that Mike and Lauren are planning to get hitched in November -- several weeks after Sorrentino's October 2 sentencing date.

The news led to a social media rumor that Mike and Lauren had arranged to get married in prison.

These reports led to widespread confusion, as it's tough to imagine that the future Mr. and Mrs. Sorrentino will be able to host the traditional Italian wedding of their dreams in Attica 

Mike Sorrentino Proposes to Lauren Pesce

After all, it's not like you can smuggle an 80-gallon barrel of soup and 14 cousins named Marie in a trench coat.

Fortunately, it seems Mike and Lauren did their research, and they're confident that no matter what happens on sentencing day, they'll be able to say "I do" in the presence of all their family and friends.

“Ordinarily in federal court, a defendant is given a period of time (30 to 60 days) to surrender voluntarily to begin a prison sentence after the sentence is imposed,� Sorrentino’s lawyer Henry Klingeman told Radar.

Klingeman goes on to say that Mike and Lauren have "worked out all the logistics."

The Situation Proposes!

We guess it makes sense that Mike's not considered a flight risk.

After all, he's been jetting all over the country filming JSFV, and he seems to have no inclination to skip the country.

So it looks like we're in for a televised Shore wedding, complete with DJ Pauly D on the ones and twos.

Hopefully, Ronnie won't steal the spotlight again.

Deena Cortese Shares Babymoon Photo, Gets Mom-Shamed

This summer, Jersey Shore fans rejoiced at the news that Deena Cortese is pregnant with her first child!

Now, she is flaunting her baby bump while pregnant and on vacation. Some of her followers worry that she's endangering her unborn son.

Deena hasn't even given birth yet, but she's already being mom-shamed.

Deena Cortese on Her Babymoon

"Cheers, b--ches!" Deena wrote in the caption of her Instagram post.

"Yesss this drink is virgin," Deena clarified, adding: "(Which means NON alcoholic)."

We shudder to think what some followers might assume that she meant when calling her drink a virgin.

"Lol I can’t believe I need to specify that in a post," Deena laments.

Drinking alcohol while pregnant is no laughing matter, but one would hope that everyone would know better.

Deena Cortese Cheers on Her Babymoon

"Don't drink wile prego," demanded one follower who seemed concerned that Deena lacked common sense.

"She's an afordable (sic) pregnant meatball but i thougbt (sic) you couldn't fly when pregnant," wrote another commenter who was mostly intelligible.

"You are the cutest Deena," said another. "But i wish u knew not to fly while that big."

Just for the record, it's generally considered safe -- with a physician's approval -- to fly before you hit 36 weeks of pregnancy.

Pregnancy lasts for about 40 weeks, and Deena isn't due until December. We can't imagine that she's taking silly risks.

Deena Cortese and Husband Christopher Buckner

Early this summer, Deena shared the good news with the world.

"Chris and I Decided to wait until we were ready to spill the beans!" she revealed.

"Now that we are safely into our second trimester," Deena told her fans and followers. "Us and our little monkey are ready to tell the world Our little family is growing!"

They even know what gender they're expecting.

"We have a sweet little boy on the way," she revealed.

Deena Cortese and Christopher Buckner

"We Are truly blessed and our hearts are filled with so much joy and happiness," Deena gushed.

She then went on to reveal their due date.

"December can't come soon enough!" she announced.

"Daddy and Mommy can't wait to meet you Christopher John," Deena said.

She added: "You are going to be the most spoiled little boy ever!!!!"

Deena Cortese Baby Bump

That is all great to hear.

Jersey Shore isn't exactly the reality show where you'd expect to find the world's best mothers.

Actually, most reality shows fall under that umbrella. What makes a good parent and what makes an entertaining reality TV personality are almost mutually exclusive qualities.

But we should remember that reality stars, most of them, are actors who are playing a role on camera for money, even if it isn't exactly scripted.

We should also remember that Deena was at a different place in her life a decade ago. (Weren't we all?) She has done a lot of growing up since then.

Save your mom-shaming for the parents who deserve it, please.

Jersey Shore Recap: Lawyering Up and Busting Out

On Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, one key cast member spent a lot of time away from his fellow stars...

... while another took things a step further and decided to spend no time at all with anyone moving forward.

shore guys

We'll start with Ronnie, who met with an attorney and discussed his custody options, considering he's now a father of a little girl named Ariana -- and considering the violent tension that exists between him and her mother, Jen Harley.

“Everything that’s going on with Jen is just driving me crazy,� he said at one point, adding:

“They say if things aren’t good at home, then things aren’t going to be good in life.

"Me and Jen, we’re going to be involved in each other’s lives forever, so we may be toxic forever.�

To Ronnie's credit, he didn't spend this episode drinking or lifting or partying with his pals.

He spent a bulk of it in an attorney's office.

Ronnie on a Break

“I have to make a change for my daughter," he explained.

"I have to put a stop to this for Ariana, something has to be done so she has stability and foundation. That’s why we need some kind of guidelines, to make sure that she’s all right at the end of the day.�

Indeed, Ronnie and Jen have trashed each other incessantly on social media over the past few months, while getting into multiple physical altercations.

“I’m super proud of Ron,� Snooki told the camera. “He’s growing up and he’s adulting and he’s figuring out how to handle situations better.�

Of course, Snooki herself could have taken some of her own advice this week, as she was featured in a storyline about her best friendship with JWOWW basically falling apart.

Ronnie at a Law Firm

After days of mounting tension between the BFFs - because Snooki had invited Angelina to Vegas without telling JWOOW - Jenni decided to leave Sin City early.

“Not cool. How the f-ck is that fair? F-ck that,� Snooki snapped upon hearing this plan. “She only just cares about her f-cking self. What an a-hole.�

Whatever, though, Jenni replied.

She had her own life and her own issues on which to focus.

"Nicole’s hurt that I’m leaving, but I’m hurt, too,� she said, continuing:

“She didn’t [participate] in my Mother’s Day video - she’s a mom. She should get it. She’s my best friend. She’s the godmother to one of my kids.

"And then the whole inviting Angelina? Come on. This bitch is annoying, and I don’t want to be in the house with her."

Annoyed Jenni

Did all of this really play out as we saw on camera?

Will Snooki yell and complain that various scenes and fights were edited? Perhaps.

But JWOWW concluded the installment in a dark and angry place, that's all we know for now.

“Nicole and I were keeping secrets from each other,� she admitted.

“I didn’t tell her when I was booking my flight home, and Nicole didn’t tell me that she invited Angelina. It sucks, but at the same time, it’s like, we obviously have problems.

"We’re not as close as we thought. I don’t get angry anymore unless I’m really, really hurt — so this is the end result of me being angry, is that I’m hurt.�

Snooki: The New Season of Jersey Shore Is Full of LIES!

If you've been watching the current season of Jersey Shore Family Vacation, you may have noticed that something about the show is a bit ... off.

And we're not talking about the fact that Ronnie's baby mama makes the rest of the cast look downright sophisticated by comparison, or the mystery of how Mike is able to casually consume 4,500 calories at each meal.

Jersey Shore Cast Drinking

No, we're talking about the haphazard, slapdash way the show seems to be assembled this season,

Jersey Shore Family Vacation 2 -- as it's officially known -- was a rush job inspired by the success of its predecessor, and frankly -- it often shows.

Cast members come and go as they're forced to attend to career and family obligations that were lined up before this season was hastily greenlit.

Scenes often seem to go on forever as producers attempt to convince us they've got a season's worth of material despite the fact that we last checked in on our favorite guidos less than two months ago.

Snooki on Jersey Shore: Family Vacation

But perhaps the show's biggest flaw these days is the fact that individual storylines often seem to be fabricated from whole cloth.

Take the ongoing "feud" between Snooki and Jenni, for example.

On social media, viewers have expressed confusion, as the main point of contention between these two seems to be that Snooki invited Angelina to Vegas -- which makes little sense, as Jenni would be well aware that her friend did so out of professional obligation.

(Love her or hate her, Angelina is good for drama, a fact the show's producers are well aware of.)

Angelina Pivarnick on Jersey Shore

In a recent interview with Buzzfeed, Snooks basically confirmed what viewers have long suspected -- there is no Snooki vs. JWoww feud.

"The last episode, nothing made sense to us because we know exactly what happened," she said.

"Sometimes editing, they try and leave stuff out, so they make it seem like something was there that wasn't. We're not scripted at all. We just go in there and do our thing, but we never know how they're going to edit it."

Snooki added:

Snooki at 2018 VMAs

"We aren't scripted. But what does happen is the editing and how it comes off. That is not our control.

"I could be mad at Angelina but they can make it look like I'm mad at Jenni. I'm like, that's not even what's going on."

She went on to clarify that Jenni's decision to head home to her family had nothing to do with the drama on the show:

"I got upset for Jenni because she left for her son, because her son had a doctor appointment, but they made it seem like she left because she was mad that I invited Joey and Angelina,"

Snooki and JWoww in 2017

"So Jenni is not a bully, leave her alone," Snooki added.

"The editing really screws her up."

Obviously, this is far from the first time that MTV's editors have come under fire for manipulating footage.

But we hope at the end of the day, those airing their grievances understand that this is the nature of reality TV -- and for the most part, viewers are well aware of that.

Pauly D: Angelina Pivarnick Cheated On Her Fiancé With Vinny Guadagnino!

If you've been watching the show this season, then you're probably aware that producers keep introducing the Staten Island Hamster into the festering rodent cage that is Jersey Shore Family Vacation.

Thus far, the decision to have Angelina Pivarnick haul her duct-taped garbage bag full of clothes all over the country in pursuit of the housemates' friendship has yielded mixed results.

Angelina Pivarnick on Jersey Shore

Sure, Angelina remains annoying AF, but if it weren't for the rage she brings to the table, the show would be nothing but non-stop Ronnie baby mama drama.

Plus, having packed up her Hefty Cinch-Sack and exited the Shore house (twice!) early on in the show's original run, Angelina provides an interesting link to the guidos' past.

The rest of the cast has mostly moved on from the pettiness of the pasts, but Angelina is still all about that mess.

It's sort of like if you met up with your best friend from third grade and found out that paste is still his favorite food.

Angelina Pivarnick Image

Try not to think too hard about that Angelina/paste eating analogy as we continue with this story. Trust us.

As we discussed last week, Angelina hooked up with Vinny -- and, well, just about every other guy in the house during her initial, short-lived tenure on JS.

It was all thought to be ancient history, but now, a new rumor holds that Angie and Vin visited the smush room together while filming the show's current season.

That may sound like a tough one to swallow (again, we apologize for our choice of imagery), but believe it or not, Vinny's most trusted confidante says it's totally plausible.

Vinny and Angelina Pic

“I believe it, I don’t know, I believe it,� Pauly said, when asked about the rumor by OK! magazine.

“He’s allowed to hook up with women, just no other guys,� the DJ joked, referring to his bromance with Vinny.

Kidding aside, Pauly proceeded to point out that Angelina might be in trouble if it turns out the rumors are true:

“She’s engaged, though, so if they did [hook up], that’s a problem for her.� 

Vinny Guadagnino at MTV Movie Awards

Perhaps we'll find out later in the season if Vinny and Angelina really went there -- or perhaps not.

Either way, the housemates' romantic past has been a frequent topic of conversation on the current season of JSFV.

"You guys fight all the time. You have like, one more hate bang to get out,� Ronnie joked on last week's episode.

But unlike Stormy Daniels, who seems to vividly recall the horrid fungal dimensions of Donald Trump's penis, Angelina is suffering from a severe case of dong-related amnesia when it comes to Vinny.

Vinny and Angelina Hook Up

“No, I’m not f--king DTF anymore, Vin,� she said on Thursday's installment.

“Been there, done that with you. I honestly don’t remember your dick. I’m not being mean. I’m not saying it’s small. I’m saying I don’t remember!�

Sounds like Angelina may be in need of a crash course on Vinny's peen.

Of course, in this case, we guess you'd call it a smush course.

The Infamous Vinny Guadagnino-Angelina Pivarnick Hookup: A Brief History of Smush

If you've been watching the current season of Jersey Shore Family Vacation, you may have found yourself surprised by a number of things:

There's the fact that Ronnie's new relationship is somehow more unhealthy than his famously tumultuous romance with Sammi Giancola.

Jersey Shore Cast Drinking

There's Mike's daily calorie intake, which we won't rag on, as he might be storing meal memories for his impending prison sentence like the food equivalent of a spank bank.

And let's not forget the passionate bromance between Vinny and Pauly D that's being increasingly played for laughs as the show cements its place as the first reality sitcom.

But if you're like many viewers, the most surprising revelation of all might be just how little you recollect of the show's original run.

Sure we all remember the broad strokes -- the fist-pumping, the GTL, the t-shirt times, the fights, and, of course, the smushing.

Jersey Shore Cast Season 4 Pic

But you might be a little hazy about who smushed whom and under what conditions.

Fortunately, like the Ghost of Smushes Past, Angelina Pivarnick is still haunting her housemates with constant reminders of their bad decisions.

On last night's episode, the Hamster attempted to recall the exact dimensions of Vinny's penis, and despite helpful comparisons from the man himself (a spray paint can, an eggplant, of course), she found herself unable to conjure a satisfying memory of Mini Vinny.

Fortunately, the folks over at Life & Style have compiled an oral (tee-hee) history of Angie's sexual escapades with her on-again, off-again co-stars.

Vinny and Angelina Hook Up

For starters, yes, Vinny and Angelina hooked up in Season 2 -- and it was weird as hell.

The face-sucking began in a cab, right in front of their housemates -- who were understandably shocked, as Vin had just lambasted Angelina as "the Rob Kardashian of Staten Island" one day prior.

"I was drunk, that's about it," Angelina said the next day, by way of explanation.

"You do stupid things when you're drunk." 

Angelina Pivarnick on Jersey Shore

Of course, Angelina didn't stop with Vinny.

She also hooked up with both Mike Sorrentino and Pauly D.

Unlike Vinny's, those smush sessions were not caught on camera, but Pauly offered this one-star review of his experience:

"To find the right one, you have to through a lot of the wrong ones, so that's what I'm doing right now."

Yeesh. Why is it that Angelina continues to "vacation" with these people?

Oh, right, they pay her ungodly sums of money just to make decisions on camera.

Jersey Shore Recap: I Will F–k You Up, B!!

Move over, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Jen Harley.

Two new combatants stepped into the figurative ring on Thursday night, as Jersey Shore: Family vacation featured yet another ugly confrontation between cast members.

Angelina and JWoww

A week after Angelina Pivarnick arrived in Las Vegas, due to an invitation by MTV producers Snooki, the tension between this former regular and Jenni "JWOWW" Farley reached record levels.

And it was largely because Angelina tried to make nice with JWOWW.

Well, it was really because Angelina referred to JWOWW as a "Jersey Whore" back in May, but Jenni warned her foe last night that if she just kept her distance, everything would be okay.

Angelina failed to heed this advice, however.

a headlock

Jenni tried to simply steer clear of Angelina, who she said was "like a pet you don't really want."

When the group went down to the pool, for example, JWOWW refused to clink glasses with Angelina during a toast, thinking that ignoring her rival would basically make her go away.

But it had the opposite effect. It turned Angelina into an irritating pest.

"Why would she all of a sudden say cheers to me?" Jenni asked Nicole.

Poor Jenni

"I'm just trying to f-cking enjoy my last couple of days," she added. "I'm a mom now. If I'm gonna be getting bullied and dumb shit, I'm out."

It was clear that the situation was merely escalating with every passing moment.

At one point, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino warned Angelina to "proceed with caution" when it came to her relationship with Jenni (he should know... remember when she punched him?), but Angelina continued to do annoy JWOWW.

In a cab on the way to the club that evening, Snooki tried to get Angelina to apologize to Jenni for the whore comment.

But...

ap rides

"You were acting like a f-cking whore," she told JWOWW. 

When Nicole reprimanded her for repeating the insult, Angelina replied:

"Not a whore like that, you ass! Like a freaking bitch. You were acting like a bitch!"

Jenni then tried to explain to Angelina that there was a difference between a "whore" and a "bitch," but it fell on deaf ears.

"It's obvious that Jenni still has resentment towards me, and I'm to blame a little bit, but I'm trying genuinely to be friends with her and maybe we can squash this eventually?” Angelina said.

too soon pic

Then, naturally, she attempted to sit on Jenni's lap and dance with her at the club. Bad move there, Angelina.

“I just want to party and let loose and have fun, and she’s just not having it," Angelina said. "I don’t know if my approach is wrong, but I'm trying."

(Editor's Note: We knew. Everyone there knew. You're approach was definitely wrong.)

Continuing down the clearly wrong path, Angelina tried to drop some ice down Jenni's shirt while at the club, a so-called prank that only served to anger the star.

"Don't touch me!" Jenni boomed "You're out of your damn mind! What is wrong with you? Stop. Stop, or I will f-ck you up!"

Having No Fun

"I don't know what Angelina's thinking messing with Jenni," Ronnie said hilariously, referring to Jenni's husband and adding:

"Roger don't even do that yet, and he's been married to her for eight years!"

This was a lesson Angelina did not learn, however, which is how she ended up scuffling with JWOWW on the dance floor and getting caught in a headlock.

Angelina eventually squirmed her way out of Jenni's grip and slapped her in the face with the back of her hand.

"Bring me home, or I'm gonna go to jail," JWOWW said to The Situation, apparently convinced she broke the law.

Finally, to close out yet another violent and intense episode, Jenni told everyone at dinner the next night that she was going home early.