Archive for the ‘Kim Kardashian’ Category

Kris Humphries Would Not Get Back Together with Kim Kardashian

We're sorry to break this to you, Kim Kardashian.

But the truth must be told...

Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian: A Night of Style & Glamour in New York

... Kris Humphries has no interest in a reconciliation.

You remember Kris Humphries, don't you, Kim?

He's the former professional basketball player to whom you were married for 72 days because either Kris Jenner pressured you into this union in order to make money or because you actually thought you were in love.

Either way, Us Weekly recently tracked Humphries down.

The ex-power forward has not found a soulmate since Kim filed for divorce in October of 2011, but that doesn't mean he's unhappy.

According to this tabloid, Humphries is “enjoying the single life� in his native state Minnesota and is working in real estate.

Kris with Kim

Does he have any interest in getting it on with Kardashian?

Heck, does he have any interest in even talking to Kardashian again?

No and no, the publication explains.

At this point in his life, Kris “tries to stay as far out of the spotlight as possible� and “truly wants zero association� with his 37-year-old ex, a source close to Humphries says.

"He actually had genuine feelings for her," the insider allages of Kim, adding that Kris thinks he got "screwed over" in the relationship and eventual divorce.

Life & Style Cover: Kris & Kim

Humphries, as you may or may not recall, dragged out these divorce proceedings for many, many months.

He threatened to actually sue Kardashian for fraud, claiming at times that the marriage was nothing but a sham meant to pad her bank account and raise her profile.

Kris isn't the only person who thought this, of course.

But others have assumed all along that Humphries was in on the PR stunt... or whatever the heck you want to call his 72-day run as Kim's husband.

Kim Kardashian Tell-All to Kome?

"Their marriage is like a distant memory," says this Us Weekly mole.

And this likely holds true for most of the celebrity gossip world.

Admit it: Did you even remember that Kris and Kim were married?

Do you even recall a time when Kardashian was not with Kanye West?

The last time Humphries commented publicly on anything pop culture related, he was sending well wishes to Rob Kardashian.

That was well over a year ago.

We're guessing he actually hasn't spoken to Rob or anyone in the family since the divorce, though; which is probably for the best.

He last played in the NBA for the Atlanta Hawks, averaging 4.6 points per game in the 2016-2017 season.

Kris Humphries Would Not Get Back Together with Kim Kardashian

We're sorry to break this to you, Kim Kardashian.

But the truth must be told...

Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian: A Night of Style & Glamour in New York

... Kris Humphries has no interest in a reconciliation.

You remember Kris Humphries, don't you, Kim?

He's the former professional basketball player to whom you were married for 72 days because either Kris Jenner pressured you into this union in order to make money or because you actually thought you were in love.

Either way, Us Weekly recently tracked Humphries down.

The ex-power forward has not found a soulmate since Kim filed for divorce in October of 2011, but that doesn't mean he's unhappy.

According to this tabloid, Humphries is “enjoying the single life� in his native state Minnesota and is working in real estate.

Kris with Kim

Does he have any interest in getting it on with Kardashian?

Heck, does he have any interest in even talking to Kardashian again?

No and no, the publication explains.

At this point in his life, Kris “tries to stay as far out of the spotlight as possible� and “truly wants zero association� with his 37-year-old ex, a source close to Humphries says.

"He actually had genuine feelings for her," the insider allages of Kim, adding that Kris thinks he got "screwed over" in the relationship and eventual divorce.

Life & Style Cover: Kris & Kim

Humphries, as you may or may not recall, dragged out these divorce proceedings for many, many months.

He threatened to actually sue Kardashian for fraud, claiming at times that the marriage was nothing but a sham meant to pad her bank account and raise her profile.

Kris isn't the only person who thought this, of course.

But others have assumed all along that Humphries was in on the PR stunt... or whatever the heck you want to call his 72-day run as Kim's husband.

Kim Kardashian Tell-All to Kome?

"Their marriage is like a distant memory," says this Us Weekly mole.

And this likely holds true for most of the celebrity gossip world.

Admit it: Did you even remember that Kris and Kim were married?

Do you even recall a time when Kardashian was not with Kanye West?

The last time Humphries commented publicly on anything pop culture related, he was sending well wishes to Rob Kardashian.

That was well over a year ago.

We're guessing he actually hasn't spoken to Rob or anyone in the family since the divorce, though; which is probably for the best.

He last played in the NBA for the Atlanta Hawks, averaging 4.6 points per game in the 2016-2017 season.

Columbus Short: Kim Kardashian is Controlling Kanye With WITCHCRAFT!

After Kanye West's bizarre Oval Office visit in which he doubled down on his support for Donald Trump, his former fans are scratching their heads.

But a former Scandal actor believes that he can explain Kanye's strange behavior.

Columbus Short accuses Kim Kardashian of using witchcraft to torment and control her husband.

Columbus Short on Scandal

Disgraced former Scandal actor Columbus Short took to social media, sharing an image in which Kim smiles for the camera while Kanye stares into the distant.

"I post this picture for one reason and one reason only," Columbus writes.

He then writes that his purpose is "to expose witchcraft."

Yes, you read that correctly. No, this is not an early Halloween prank.

"This," Columbus claims. "Is what it looks like."

Kanye and Kim Kardashian, "Witchcraft" photo

We guess that about half the students in any early morning math class anyone's ever taken are also under the thrall of witches, then.

"Its [sic] a unaddressed issue but real and present right now," Columbus continues.

He goes on to claim that: "Both men and women all over the WORLD are unknowingly being tormented by witchcraft."

"And this," he says. "Is what it looks like."

"You can call me crazy," he very correctly states. "But I suggest you guys do your research."

Columbus Short Photograph

Obviously, no amount of actual research is going to validate his claims.

There are plenty of people whose personal spiritual practices can be described as witchcraft.

They come from a number of faiths or may not subscribe to any religion.

But they are very much not mind-controlling anyone, least of all Kanye West.

Some might say that a little mind-control would do Kanye some good right about now.

Columbus Short Pic

Easily the best thing about Columbus' witchcraft theory is the replies.

Sure, some of them are people agreeing with him and warning that they fear for his life since he's "exposing" this "truth."

One person tweeted: "You Already Know What's going on in The Devil Illuminati Industry," which is one hell of a sentence.

Others are arguing with him ... saying that it's not witchcraft mind-control, but MK Ultra mind-control.

Social media is amazing.

Kanye West, Face on Video

This is a little like when Flat Earth "Theorists" start espousing their views, only to get arguments from Hollow Earth theorists.

To the rest of us, one theory seems about the same as the other.

But that's because two concepts, each equally divorced from reality, seem equally absurd.

To those who really believe them, however, it makes all of the difference in the world.

It seems that Columbus really, truly believes that Kim has hexxed Kanye.

Columbus Short Photo

On a more serious note, Columbus referring to "torment" by "witchcraft" brings to mind his arrest warrant from just last month.

The warrant was issued in September after he failed to appear in court for a divorce proceeding.

His divorce from Tuere Tanee Short began all the way back in 2014, around the time of his arrest for domestic violence.

She filed for divorce after he threatened to kill her and himself, and she was granted a temporary restraining order at the time.

He has also been accused of other acts of violence, including violence against another woman's child and threatening to kill Jamie Foxx for some reason.

It is unclear if he believes that his life setbacks are the results of sabotage by witchcraft. They are clearly his own fault.

Listen to Me, Jared!

Kanye's behavior has been worrisome to a lot of his fans, and people seem desperate for an explanation.

Some think that Kim is just not good for him.

Others choose to blame mental illness, as if there aren't millions of people with mental illness who manage to not be terrible.

Now, an accused domestic abuser thinks that Kanye is under a witch's mind-control.

When, we wonder, are people going to stop making excuses that turn Kanye into the victim.

Maybe Kanye West is just ... bad. And maybe he has been bad all along, and people can no longer find easy excuses to ignore it.

Keeping Up with the Kardashians Recap: Welcome… Alex Rodriguez?!?

As evidenced by the Kim Kardashian sex tape, at least one cast member on Keeping Up with the Kardashians knows a thing or two about how to handle a rod.

This was relevant on Sunday night because former Major League Baseball superstar Alex Rodriguez, often referred to by the nickname "A. Rod," made an unexpected cameo on the popular reality series.

Can't say we saw that coming.

Alex Rodriguez on E!

Also the boyfriend of Jennifer Lopez, Rodriguez was on hand to help the ladies with their baseball skills in anticipation of a charity game that was held to raise money for the Watts Community Center.

This is an interest in which Kris Jenner has often decided to devote her time and interest.

The big and very poorly-played game pitted the Kardashian family -- including Kim, Kourtney, a then-pregnant Khloe, Kris and Kendall -- against family pal Tito Jackson and his loved ones.

The Kardashians called themselves the Calabasas Peaches due to the movie A League of Their Own... and they were very much in a league of their own terriblenesss.

"The Jacksons have to go down," Rodriguez said in an attempt to coach the women up, adding:

"Dear God, let us all play like New York Yankees."

Kim at bat

(Editor's Note: The Yankees just lost a playoff game by a score of 16-1 and a series to their hated rival, the Boston Red Sox, so perhaps playing like the most recent version of the Bronx Bombers was not a great idea.)

Editor's Note 2: A. Rod is a giant tool.)

In the end, the Jacksons thrashed the Kardashians, with Kim going down on strikes faster than she went down on Ray J in the aforementioned sex tape.

"We should just hand over the check now because we suck," she later said.

Still, the game raised $15,000 for a charity that helps underprivileged kids.'

kourt with a glove

"I can’t wait to celebrate all the hard work that was put into the community center,’ said Kris as the family toured the kitchen, sports facilities and computer center at the facility.

Elsewhere, Scott Disick and Khloe Kardashian played a pretty dumb prank on Kris by pretending that a talented artist named Art Vandelay had made some paintings.

They then dropped these paintings off at Jenner's house and watched as she wandered around her house, wondering where to hang them.

So much for her so-called expertise in the world of expensive art, right?!?

Disick and Kardashian were intent on embarrassing their snobby loved one, but soon realized they had maybe gone too far.

"We have to break it to her that we’re completely lying…and basically giving her fraudulent paintings," Disick noted in a confessional.

evil scott

Over dinner at Nobu that evening, they allowed Kris to schmooze with the fake artist before they dropped the bombshell that she had been had.

"What? No!" Kris yelled upon learning that the paintings had been created by Khloe in her garage.

"You are pieces of sh-t…you had me this time!" Jenner boomed.

Finally, because the writers are truly out of storyline material, Kourtney ordered a DNA test.

"Oh my God I’m Middle Eastern and North African!’ said Kourtney, who was also "4.5 percent French."

dna results

"I’m so white," complained Kendall, while Khloe added:

"I’m 41.5 percent Middle Eastern."

Fascinating, right?

Use the video below to watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians online and catch up on amazing moments such as this that you may want to see again:

Kim Kardashian: Ready to Leave Kanye Over MAGA Madness?

Perhaps you’ve spent the past 24 hours trapped under a rock in a remote forest with especially crappy wi-fi.

If so, we’d like to both congratulate you on your escape and warn you that your return to society is about to be made bittersweet, at best:

Yes, Kanye West paid a visit to the White House yesterday, and the ensuing madness made almost everything else Yeezy has done over the course of his bonkers career look downright quaint by comparison.

(Notice we said “almost.” Referring to slavery as “a choice” is still tough to top in terms of batsh-t insanity.) 

There are too many insane quotes to catalog here, but suffice it to say, Kanye said his MAGA hat makes him feel like Superman, which in turn makes him want to play catch with his 2-year-old son.

He then referred to himself as a crazy motherf–ker and basically admitted that he didn’t vote for Hillary because she’s a woman.

He capped the whole thing off by coming around the president’s desk and hugging him, while Trump did that crossed arms, half smile thing he does when he’s experiencing an emotion other than anger at the poors or anger at “the elites.” 

“I tell you what, that was pretty impressive. That was quite something,” Trump said in response to Yeezus’ sermon, proving that the whole thing was a bit much even for the most effective agent of chaos the nation has ever known.

Of course, we all knew Trump would blow a bunch of smoke up his new buddy’s ass. 

No surprise there.

The reaction we’re really interested in is that of Kanye’s long-suffering wife, Kim Kardashian.

According to a new report from Radar Online, Kim was “horrified” by her husband’s Oval Office tirade.

An insider tells the site that the mother of three no longer feels safe in her own home and “has been getting threats” ever since the rant went viral.

“It has come to the point where she feels unsafe and fears for her safety and that of the kids,” the source adds.

Rumors of Kim and Kanye getting divorced have been circulating for years, but they’ve never seemed more credible than right now.

Sources describe the marriage as “extremely strained,� noting that Kanye is moving to Chicago soon, and Kim has no plans to follow him.

“She just cannot handle another breakdown,� one insider says.

We can’t blame her for feeling stressed, but it’s important to point out that Kanye made a good point or two amidst all that nonsense.

“There’s a lot of things that affect our mental health that make us do crazy things,” West opined at one point.

To be fair, we can’t think of a single statement that more accurately encapsulates life in 2018.

It’s just the sort of thing we wish he had tweeted instead of shouting to a bunch of reporters in the Oval Office while Kid Rock stood in the foyer waiting to offer his two cents.

BREAKING: Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner Suck at Baseball

Kim Kardashian has hit many home runs in her life...

... off the field, we mean.

As in: she's slept with her fair share of men.

Many of these men have eveb been professional athletes, but it's notable that none has played baseball.

Why is this notable?

Because Kim and her mother will play a random pickup game of that sport on this Sunday's brand new episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians... and it will not go well.

As practice for an upcoming softball game, Kim, Kris Jenner and Khloe Kardashian trudge out to a diamond in the clip featured on this page in order to try pitching and hitting.

A pregnant Khloe stands on the sideline and offers her loved ones advice.

But it falls on deaf and untalented ears.

"Is this the mound?" a confused Kim asks her sister.

"No, the mound is there," Khloe responds. "That would be the pitcher's mound."

(Editor's Note: This is patently absurd. We don't care how little baseball you watch; you know from where a pitcher pitches.)

"The first softball practice is terrifying," Khloe later says in a confessional. "It's just chickens with their head cut off running around this field. It's not good."

After Kim finally gets a hold of a Kris offering and runs to first base, it's time for Jenner to grab a bat and for Kim to take the aforementioned mound.

Upon attempting to hit her first pitch, however, Kris wobbles backward and falls to the ground.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Kim asks as she rushes to her mother's side. "Oh my god, did you hurt your wrist?"

Yes, Kris claims.

And it actually is possible.

As scripted and as dumb as this entire scene is, we're not sure if Jenner is a decent enough of an actress to fake this fall.

It looks pretty legit!

Take a look at the footage feature here and see for yourself!

(And then visit our friends at TV Fanatic to watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians online.)

Kris jenner gets injured playing the lamest game of baseball eve

Jay Z & Beyonce to Kanye West: It’s Us or Trump!

In case you somehow weren't aware, Kanye West is a card-carrying, red hat wearing, verbal vomit-spewing member of MAGA Nation.

Outside of a Russian billionaire whose investment portfolio is made up entirely of coal mines, McDonald's franchises, and XXS glove manufacturers, it's impossible to imagine anyone who might love Donald Trump more than Kanye does.

Kanye West as a Guest

Yeezy's outpourings of affection for the Donald have been relentless as of late, and not surprisingly, it seems members of his inner circle are growing bored of the routine.

West's wife, Kim Kardashian, has shown herself to have the patience of a freakin' saint in dealing with her husband's erratic behavior, but even she draws the line at dude saying slavery was "a choice."

But Kim has clearly made the decision to ride this one out and hope the old Kanye emerges from the Sunken Place sooner rather than later.

Bey, Jay, 'Ye

The same can't be said for Ye's most high-profile friends.

Yes, the friendship between Kanye, Jay Z and Beyonce has always been fraught with tension, and it seems that these days the Carters have decided that West simply isn't worth it.

"They are outraged over Kanye’s recent political rants,� a source close to the situation tells Radar Online.

Beyonce and Jay Z at the Game

The insider went on to confirm that Bey and Jay feel the same about this situation as the rest of us:

“They think Kanye is a disgrace and is only doing this for attention,� the source says.

“Beyonce and Jay Z know that Kanye is seeing a future in politics, but they feel that they cannot associate themselves with them from this point forward.

Kim Kardashian, North West, and Kanye West in D.C.

And apparently, Kim has been lumped in with Kanye in the Carters' eyes:

"They want nothing to do with either one of them," says the insider.

We suppose we're a little sympathetic to Kim, but not very.

After all, you can't complain about the downsides of being married to an irate d-bag when you're benefitting from the ... well, we assume there must be some upside to being married to Kanye.

Kim Kardashian & Kanye West: Living Separate Lives, Headed For Divorce [Report]

In the wake of Kanye's pro-Trump rant on Saturday Night Live, a lot of his former fans are wondering where Kim Kardashian will draw the line.

A new report says that she already has.

In fact, Kim and Kanye are allegedly living separate lives and just hoping that no one will notice.

Kimye Marriage Pic

Life & Style reports that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, though still married, are leading separate lives.

"Kim and Kanye have grown further and further apart," the insider reports.

This separation is said to exist on multiple levels.

The source says that Kim and Kanye have grown distant both "emotionally and physically."

That does not sound like a healthy marriage.

Kimye, Ready to Kiss

"They not only sleep in separate rooms," the insider continues.

The source says: "[but] they're also leading separate lives at this point."

Separate bedrooms isn't so unusual -- some people love each other but have different schedules, or prefer different sleeping environments.

But this report claims that Kim and Kanye aren't just accommodating their respective sleeping needs -- that they're essentially no longer living as husband and wife.

As the insider claims: "They're pretty much estranged."

Kimye Selfie Time

As an example, the tabloid cites September 23.

On that date, Kim was cheering on North at her very first fashion show.

At the same time, Kanye was with Saint at a Cubs game, throwing the first pitch -- thousands of miles away.

To hear Life & Style tell it, this isn't just how their schedules worked at that moment.

It was, instead, an alleged example of how Kim and Kanye have chosen to consciously separate their lives.

Kanye West, Face on Video

Kim and Kanye have allegedly been "fighting a lot."

There's the infamous incident in which Kanye West needed a band-aid., as described on a recent episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Kim revealed that he became increasingly agitated with Kim as she brought him different bandages, because none of them met his standards.

Instead of getting it himself or having their housekeeper get it for him, Kanye seemed adamant that Kim cater to him.

"I think so many husbands feel neglected when you start having kids," Khloe theorized. "And then all of their attention gets taken away."

Kimye and Company

Khloe has some theories that paint a really horrifying vision of what relationships in her family are like.

"Sometimes men still want to be treated as, like, the first baby," Khloe says, to our horror.

"I know Kim is so overwhelmed," Khloe says, as if Kim needs an excuse. "And I think sometimes it's easy to get distracted"

"But your husband still wants you to take care of him," Khloe says.

Khloe's bad advice continues: "I'm sure with three kids you're tired at the end of the day and you don't make that a priority, but she really has to."

Kimye Smiling!

In real life, of course, if your husband is acting like an entitled baby who wants you to mommy him, unless that's some sort of kink that you share, it's not great.

Rather than rearranging your life so that you can get him his special big boy bandages, the better choice might be to find a husband who is, like, an adult.

That said, we're not convinced that Kim and Kanye are silently separated. That's not really Kim's style.

Kim will stand by her man -- to a fault. She's hardly the only one in the family to do so.

It's difficult to imagine that she and Kanye are leading separate lives. At the very least, we can't picture Kanye keeping it a secret.

Kim Kardashian to Kourtney Kardashian: You F-cking Disgust Me!

Keeping Up with the Kardashians took Kim and Kourtney to Japan on Sunday night.

And the sisters brought with them many suitcases, changes of outfits... and lots of hard feelings.

in japan

The installment centered on Kim planning a trip to Tokyo to shoot a Yeezy campaign on behalf of her husband's fashion brand.

“I love working with Kanye in that way because he will listen to me on things that are important to me, and I’ll trust him on colors and fabrics,� she said of the endeavor, adding:

"I only have a few days to get 20 looks shot.

"Japan is the campaign - we can’t recreate it. There are dozens of people working on this, so it is a lot of pressure.

"It’s my husband’s collection and I want to make sure that I do a good job and that he likes how everything turns out."

This was the epitome of a First World Problem, but whatever, right?

It was a fair concern for Kim at the time, given the circumstances.

Kim Kardashian in Japan

However, Kim decided to mix the personal with the professional by inviting Khloe and Kourtney along for the vacation.

Why would she do so, considering the tension that has existed between all three siblings throughout Season 15?

Probably because the script called for it, but maybe also to bury the hatchet.

All it took was one evening out, though, for the tension to return -- which is what happens when one sister simply can't handle what her loved one is wearing.

“I can’t even eat dinner because I’m so disgusted with my sisters’ crazy outfits that completely don’t go with my look,� Kim told the camera. “Like, I can’t take it.�

No, really, she could. Not. Even. Take. It.

Angry at Kim

"My sisters look so crazy,� Kim continued.

"It’s actually embarrassing. Kourtney with the Japanese-inspired outfit, and Khloé is wearing silver sequins, turquoise eyeshadow, huge chandelier earrings - they’re just like, completely clashing and making my outfit look really bad and they’re ruining everything.

"I need the Yeezy collection to be debuted and not all this crazy distraction in the background."

Seriously, Khloe and Kourtney: How did you not consider the effect your fashion taste would have on Kim's career?!?

Kim didn't keep her feelings to herself, either.

She sat down with her siblings, told them they looked like "f-cking clowns" and continued to berate them as follows:

“I’m not kidding. This is not like, a tourist thing where it’s Halloween, dress up like a f-cking Japanese geisha, unless we’re at a geisha house.

"I just think you’ve got to like, chill. Like, you can be cooler. I’m not telling you guys who to be and what to wear or anything, but I’m telling you who to be and what to wear.

"It could be time for a fashion overhaul, so that you stay young and relevant.�

pink kim

At another point, she told Kourtney she looked “like a f-cking grandma, 100 percent.�

After being informed that she doesn't come across as "special" or "innovative," Kourtney at last snapped and replied in a confessional:

“Now I think Kim’s just being rude, and rude to everyone in glam.

"We’re all doing fun looks together and it’s not that serious. I think Kim and I don’t always see eye-to-eye as far of the importance of traveling and living in the moment. …

"I have three children and a full-time job. I don’t have seven stylists.�

Kim defended her actions, saying she didn't have time to "beat around the bush" while on location for a Yeezy campaign, while Kourtney countered that she just wanted to have some "fun."

“Nobody wants to wake up and be criticized from head-to-toe the whole day long,� she sighed, finally lashing out as Kim for real:

“Would you rather me f-cking say your f-cking outfits suck? You’re wearing a puffy vest, you have pink hair and turquoise shoes.

"I didn’t come here to wear leggings that are see-through and show my ass off. Do you know easy it is to a bitch? I could be a bitch all f-cking day if that’s what you want.

"But guess what? It takes a lot more courage to show your feelings than to sit there and be a bitch.�

Kim Kardashian is Looking Great

Okay, fine, Kim relented toward the end of the episode.

She said she takes pride in being "honest," but that the "delivery" of her message may have been off.

But, hey, it was all worthwhile in the end!

“It was a lot of work but we did it, and with how amazing and pretty this city is, this campaign is going to be super dope,� she concluded.

“Kanye is so happy with how the shoot turned out and I feel like it was a really good trip for us overall."

Kim Kardashian on Instagram: Gaze Upon My Vagina, Won’t You?

The sight of Kim Kardashian naked or in a partial state of undress is not an uncommon one.

But if the popularity of modern superhero movies has taught us anything, it's that people want nothing more than to see the same exact thing over and over again.

Kim Kardashian Shows Off

And in the case of naked Kim, at least it's free and doesn't eat up three hours of your afternoon.

As you can see, Kim is wearing a bikini in her latest selfie.

But it's not just any bikini, mind you.

Kim Kardashian Bikini in Snow

For one thing, it's Chanel, and probably custom, which means it also probably costs about as much as your college education.

On top of that, this particular piece of swimwear holds the distinction of being the World's Tiniest Bikini.

And whenever a fancy designer label is combined with an opportunity for partial nudity, Kim just appears, like Beetlejuice with giant boobs.

Kim Kardashian Bikini Throwback

Kim captioned the photo:

"Chanel vintage, lets please be specific," which is a reference to the Metro Boomin song "Chanel Vintage."

But you came here for boobs, not esoteric allusions to 4-year-old hip hop songs.

Kim Kardashian Flaunts Her Legs and Weight Loss

Although at this point, what's really left to be said about Kim Kardashian's boobs?

Well, quite a lot actually.

For one thing, they look remarkable, especially for a woman who's birthed and breastfed (we think) two children.

Kim Kardashian Licks the Spoon

And while she's rumored to have undergone a lift or two, as far as we know, Kim has never received implants.

Of course, she appears to be lying on her back here, so despite the amount of flesh that's exposed, it's not easy to determine exactly what's going on with Kim's breasts these days.

Obviously, Mrs. Kardashian-West is in the best shape of her life, and she deserves credit for the amount of work that she puts into hair removal.

Kim Looks Puzzled

Although, to be fair, once you achieve that level of wealth, we're sure someone does the pube-plucking for you.

We're speaking figuratively, of course.

You can be sure a pair of tweezers hasn't entered the vicinity of Kim's vagina in quite some time.

These days, she probably undergoes some new technique involving magical incantations that the rest of us haven't even heard of yet.

This has been your daily installment of us creepily spending far too much time rumination on Kim Kardashian's body.

Kris Jenner and Scott Disick: Kim Kardashian Scares the Eff Out of Us!

These days, Scott Disick is keeping an eye on Luka Sabbat and Kourtney Kardashian

On the next Keeping Up With The Kardashians, he's more worried about one of Kourtney's sisters.

He and Kris are bonding over the strangest thing: being afraid to even look at Kim. She scares them.

Scott disick dressed down for dinner

Easily one of the strangest things we've seen recently on Keeping Up With The Kardashians was the tale of Kanye West needing a band-aid.

A grown man demanded that his wife get him a band-aid. She procured multiple bandages, but none of them were the ones he wanted.

Few people would tolerate those kinds of antics from anyone over the age of 9. Kanye is 41 entire years old.

But in this new sneak peek clip from this upcoming episode, it's no longer time for viewers to feel sorry for Kim.

Kris Jenner and Scott Disick are commiserating over how Kim treats them. Should fans fear her, too?

Kris jenner smiles on keeping up with the kardashians

"When I had my face done, that was really a hard thing for me to go through. And who was there every step of the way? Sheila"

"It just occurred to me, like, she’s wanted to do this for years, but this is just not something she would do." Kris explains.

Kris says: "I want to do this for her and be there for her like she’s always been there for me."

Scott has his concerns, saying: "Even though it’s really a sweet gesture, are you at all nervous that you could offend her in anyway?"

His worry, he explains, is that Sheila will be insulted: "Is it like, ‘Hey, your face looks old?’"

Scott disick wears a beanie on kuwtk 01

"Just think about it … If you told me that I needed something done, even if maybe I didn’t, I would definitely go stare and look at whatever that was."

"Kim does that to me 24/7," Kris reveals.

"Kim does that to everybody in the world!" Scott exclaims.

"You know," Scott continues. "She catches every ..."

He wisely cuts off before he says flaw to Kris Jenner. He is sometimes wiser than he appears.

Kris jenner bonds with scott disick

Kim's hypercritical gaze is enough that members of her own family are reluctant to even interact with her.

"I don't even like looking at Kim," Scott admits.

He explains: "Because sometimes she's like," and his makes his eyes grow large as if he is examining a detail on someone's face.

"It's scary, right?" Kris asks. "She'll stare at us."

Anything that can frighten someone with a constitution like Kris' would send us running for the hills.

Scott disick wears a beanie on kuwtk 02

Scott gives a sample of the sort of thing Kim will say to him.

"'Is that a pimple right there?'" he quotes. "And I'm like, 'i-I-I don't know.'"

That does sound like a harrowing experience.

Any good friend will point out if there's something that you can fix right away -- like spinach in your teeth or perhaps a pimple.

This is especially important for people who are constantly on camera. 

You don't want to be embarrassed by a random snap.

Kim kardashian is looking great

But even reality stars have downtime. No one wants to feel like they are under constant scrutiny for their appearance.

Sometimes, people who are hopelessly consumed with their own looks seem to be unable to resist commenting on other people's.

Maybe it's a compulsion. Maybe they think that they're being helpful.

Clearly, Kim needs to dial it down a few notches with her family.

And we really, truly hope that she does not do this to or even in front of her children.

North, Saint, and Chicago don't need to grow up obsessing over real and perceived flaws.

Kris jenner and scott disick kim kardashian scares the eff out o

Kim Kardashian Explains Why Kanye Once Paid Her $1 Million

Before you make any inappropriate jokes in response to the headline above, allow us to say this up front:

No, Kanye West did not pay Kim Kardashian $1 million for sex.

That's weird and gross and just plain rude for you to even think.

But the rapper DID once hand over a check for this amount to his wife, with Kim explaining why to Ashley Graham on the podcast "Pretty Big Deal."

Scroll down to learn why you'll never, ever, EVER be able to relate to the life of a mega huge celebrity...

1. Kim Has 118 Million Instagram Followers

Classic kimye
This is far more than just something to brag about. It's something to profit over, as companies across various industries offer someone such as Kim giant sums of money for promoting their product in a social media post.

2. All Celebrities Do It

Kimye selfie time
We're not passing judgement at all here. Who in his or her right mind would NOT accept a six or seven-figure check for just posing with a cup or tea or something?

3. Six or Seven Figures?!?

Kim kardashian north west and kanye west in dc
Yes. In fact, Kardashian told Graham that she was offered $1 million by an unnamed fashion company to simply share an ad on her Instagram page. That's it. One click, one million dollars.

4. What Was the Brand?

Their party of 5
Kim refused to name it, but said it was a "knock off [of] Yeezy" which is obviously the fashion brand owned by her husband. As such, Kanye took issue with the possibility of his wife shilling for a competitor.

5. Fair Enough, Right?

Kimye ready to kiss
It's not like Kim is scrambling for pennies in her sofa cusions to make ends meet anyway. She turned it down.

6. Fast Forward to Mother's Day...

Kimye marriage pic
Kim received a very nice bouquet of flowers from Kanye and figured that was the extent of his present, she told Graham. But there was also an envelope and, well... you can see where this is going, right?
View Slideshow

Keeping Up with the Kardashians Rekap: Kanye West Needs a Band-Aid

Kanye West needs many things in life.

Attention. Professional mental health assistance. A clue.

On Sunday night's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, however, the controversial rapper just needed one thing from his wife: a band-aid.

And it led to a pretty big argument.

Kim Kardashian eats

"Last night I was just like not in the best mood and I was just like tired," Kim told Khloe about this tiff early in the installment, explaining:

"I got home and I was like, 'Hey' and then I was like on my computer and then he was like, 'Babe, will you get off your computer, I wanna talk, let's hangout.'"

Kim was trying to meet a deadline and ignored Kanye, but she responded immediately when Saint reminded his mom that it was time for his bath.

Enter immature Kanye...

"I shut the computer and he's like, 'You're gonna go take a bath with him, but I asked to hangout and you wouldn't?'" Kim told Khloe of West's response.

"Maybe just take a bath with Kanye and it will all be better," Khloe quipped.

Kim Kardashian on Keeping

But Kim said the issue went beyond just polishing her man's knob.

She expounded on a recent fight with Kanye, one that centered on him getting a boo-boo and his desire for his wife to fix it.

"We had a fight because I wouldn't get him a Band-Aid," Kim recounted, adding:

"I said, 'Did you look in the proper place, there's a Band-Aid here.' He didn't like that one. So he wanted another one, so there was a Band-Aid there and I put it on him. He didn't like the color of the Band-Aid."

What about one of daughter North Jesus-themed band-aids, which apparently exist?

Nope!

"He was like, 'I've slaved around the world making clothes for you to make sure that you find the best outfit and you let me go out wearing a Jesus Band-Aid,'" Kim said.

"I'm like, so I'm running around to find three f-cking different color Band-Aid's when I have three kids to look after?!"

MAGA ye

Hmm... is there something about a First World Problem we can label this as?

An Ultimate and Ridiculous and Nauseating First World Problem, perhaps?

Khloe simply told Kim that men often needed to be treated like the "first baby" and that, overall, Kanye is someone who requires attention and constant love.

Kim understood and bought some really sexy lingerie for Valentine's Day. Problem solved!

Elsewhere, however, she continued to have problems with sibling Kourtney.

annoyed Kourtney

This time, they centered around Kim taking it upon herself to get involved in Kourtney and Scott Disick's relationship after Disick supposedly texted Kim that he wanted another child.

Since both Scott and Kourtney were seeing other people at that time of this filming, Kim figured the two could just go the IVF route and have a fourth kid together without intercourse.

Easy peasy!

She emailed this brilliant idea to the rest of her loved ones... Kourtney included! By accident!

Kim then tried to bury the email and have it erased from Kourtney's phone, but Kourtney caught on and was understandably furious.

"Honestly, I don't even want to look at her after the whole email situation," the mother of three confessed to her mom and Khloe.

"I don't think she wants to hurt your feelings," Kris responded, trying to play peacemaker. "I think she just communicates differently."

Kourtney didn't appreciate her mom "there are two sides to everything" approach and shot back:

"She did something really malicious, backstabbing and actually evil. Going behind someone's back? It's not okay, it's not something I will accept in my life."

Kim Kardashian... in a Panic?

Despite her anger at both Kris and Kim, Kourtney eventually settled down and spoke to Scott.

Disick revealed that Kim had twisted his words and vowed to Kourtney he "would not go and call up your family" to discuss this topic of children again.

From there,, Kourtney and Kim buried the tension enough to go away on a joint family skiing trip. Hooray!

Use think link right here to watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians online and check out the gallery below for more about this absurd family...

Kim Kardashian to Scott Disick: Give Kourtney Some Sperm!

According to a previous report, Kim Kardashian wants her sister to get back together with Scott Disick.

This may or may not be true.

But the former sex tape star says herself in the Keeping Up with the Kardashians clip featured here that she wants at least one thing for Kourtney and Scott:

A BABY!

In this sneak peek, Kim is talking to close pal Larsa Pippen when she says the following:

"So Scott just texts me that he wants to have another baby ... with Kourtney. I think he just wants one more, and she wants one more."

We never actually see this text, of course.

And it seems somewhat ridiculous to believe that Scott would just text this to Kim -- but whatever. Let's go ahead and suspend disbelief for a few moments.

"She definitely wants more kids," Larsa replies. "If they both want to have more kids, why not have them together? Their kids are gorgeous."

"I mean, it's like, Scott has a girlfriend, Kourtney has a boyfriend, we get it," Kim says, referring to Sofia Richie and, at the time this was filmed, Younes Bendjima.

"They don't even have to have sex. It could be IVF."

That's true, we suppose.

If both sides of this former couple simply want a fourth child, there is a way to make that happen without intercourse.

"When I got pregnant with North, I had no idea if Kanye and I were going to end up together," Kim then admits, adding:

"I was like, 'We can break up, but let me just at least have some sperm, so I can have another one, so I could have siblings.'"

This is the first time, we believe, that Kim has said anything of this nature.

In the clip featured on this page, though, she takes things a step beyond one conversation with Pippen.

She gets motivated to really push for this Scott-and-Kourtney-have-another-child plan, evidently sending an email to other members of her family.

But... OOPS! Something goes wrong with it!

What does Kim screw up?

Watch this footage to find out!

Kim kardashian to scott disick give kourtney some sperm

Kim Kardashian to Kourtney: You Should Take Scott Disick Back!

It's been over two years since Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick ended their relationship, and everyone seems to be in agreement that it was the best move for both parties.

Everyone that is, except for Kourtney's most famous sister.

Kim, Scott, Kourtney

Actually, at this point, we should probably clarify that we're talking about Kim, not Kylie when we refer to the most famous Kard clan sibling.

Anyway, Kim apparently feels that Scott and Kourtney are perfect for each other.

In fact, one source claims Kiki would love nothing more than if Kourt wound up with her oft-intoxicated baby daddy.

"Kim really likes Scott and the family as a whole has a lot of respect for him,� a source close to the situation tells Hollywood Life.

Kim Kardashian is Looking Great

“She doesn’t anticipate it and is not pressuring Scott or Kourtney to get back together, but they both know that she would be completely on board if they ever decided to rekindle their romance.�

Yes, despite the decade of BS Scott dragged Kourtney through, it seems Kim only remembers the good times.

We're assuming, of course, that there were some good times, and they just never took place while the cameras were rolling.

“They would definitely have Kim’s blessing,� the insider continues.

Skourt

“She is going to let them make those decisions though if they ever get to that point, and she loves that her sister and Scott have been able to find other important relationships since they broke up.� 

Apparently, Kim understands that the logistics of a Scott-Kourtney reconciliation would be tricky, especially since Disick is still dating Sophia Richie.

Despite that, she still envisions a future in which the parents of Mason, Penelope and Reign find their way back to one another.

“She really feels that Scott and Kourtney are soulmates,� the insider adds.

Scott, Kourtney Picture

Yeah, we're sure Kourt fully appreciates Kim complicating her life with such nonsense.

Especially since Kim and Kourtney are feuding at the moment (or at least pretending to for the sake of KUWTK ratings), now seems like a great time to persistently push the worst idea in the world.

By all accounts, Scott has been working on himself, and those who know the Lord best say he's made real progress.

It seems like he and Kourtney are fine folks on their own, but simply don't work well as a couple.

And the sooner they come to terms with that, the better for all involved, especially their kids.

Khloe Kardashian Goes Into Labor After Tristan’s Cheating Scandal Breaks

On the latest episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kylie Jenner gave birth. It took more than seven months for that to air.

Viewers knew that it was only a matter of time before the show reached Khloe and her much more controversial childbirth.

In this preview video, you can see Kim, Khloe, and the rest of her family react as Khloe goes into labor ... and Tristan's cheating scandal is exposed.

Kim kardashian has a tense discussion

In the Keeping Up With The Kardashians preview teaser video that we have for you, the show teases what remains to be seen on this season.

When it really becomes interesting is when, very clearly, the story of Tristan Thompson's cheating scandal breaks.

"They have another video of him," Kim can be heard saying into her phone.

She is clearly referring to Tristan Thompson and the evidence of him being with other women during Khloe's pregnancy.

"Unfollowed, I hate him," Kim announces in another part of the clip. "Sorry, not sorry."

Khloe kardashian goes into labor

Kim's reaction was one thing, but what everyone wants to see is how Khloe responded to the news that her love and baby daddy is a no-good dirty cheater.

As we all know, it was a matter of hours after that scandal broke that Khloe went into labor with baby True.

"The things I can control, I have to be able to control," Khloe can be heard saying.

That is a fairly grounded response to such explosive news -- though of course we can imagine that some responses may have been edited out.

Khloe does, after all, have veto power over footage from the show.

Khloe kardashian undergoes an ultrasound

She gets an ultrasound while very pregnant, and also is shown going into labor while her family races to get to where she is in Cleveland.

"I hope everyone gets here in time," Khloe says.

You can also see a van full of her family members racing towards her.

As widely reported as Tristan's scandal was and True's birth was, we never really got a behind-the-scenes look or Khloe's reaction immediately afterwards.

We hope that, despite Khloe's editorial powers, we get to see her raw reaction. Fans are curious. It's human nature.

We'll definitely get to see at least some of the responses, from anger to disbelief, of Khloe's extended family. We wonder what Tristan will think.

Kim kardashian north west and kanye west in dc

Arguably the second-most-interesting storyline in this teaser is Kim using her platform for civil rights advocacy.

The story of a woman using her fame and beauty to influence a terrible old orange man to pardon a grandmother is definitely compelling.

Speaking of Trump, Kim also addresses Kanye West's worrisome bad behavior and outlandish statements.

In this case, it looks like fans can expect to see more or less the same sentiments that she has expressed publicly.

She believes that Kanye's apparently uncontrolled, no-filter declarations about Trump and "dragon energy" aren't signs of mental illness.

Kim kardashian is looking great

Kim may be right. If she is, Kanye isn't mentally troubled -- he may just be a bad person.

And it is of course unfair to malign the mentally ill, many of whom are good people, by confusing bad behavior with mental health.

Viewers will also get to see things like Kendall, who is famously anxious, try skydiving for the first time. Also, Kris falls down playing baseball.

Honestly? That could all be entertaining, but it's just filler.

Khloe's heartbreak, Kim's activism, and Kanye's nonsense look like the real meat of the rest of the season.

Khloe kardashian goes into labor after tristans cheating scandal