Rob Kardashian Returns to ‘The Kardashians’ and It’s Super Cringe

Simon Delott

When Rob Kardashians returns to reality television, you know that it’s going to be awkward.

Though The Kardashians has delved into the scary side of pregnancy and serious, ugly feuds, the Hulu reality series also has light moments.

Light, weird moments.

Rob’s return to reality television, however indirect, featured him discussing his penis. While on the phone with his sister.

Malika Haqq and Khloe Kardashian embrace.
Malika Haqq arrives at Khloe Kardashian’s abode, where the two besties greet each other on Season 5 of The Kardashians. (Image Credit: Hulu)

Malika Haqq wants another baby

Khloe Kardashian’s longtime bestie, Malika Haqq, showed up on the Thursday, June 13 episode of The Kardashians.

Her appearance came right after Khloe had a dangerously relatable moment (talking about how much she loves being home).

Malika is a mother to an amazing 4-year-old son named Ace, but she’s single at the moment. The besties greeted each other before Malika shared the topic weighing on her mind.

Khloe Kardashian speaks to the confessional camera while wearing an oddly shaped headband.
On The Kardashians, Khloe Kardashian hit peak relatability when she spoke about how she does not get “FOMO” and luxuriates in staying home and doing nothing. (Image Credit: Hulu)

“I want to have another baby,” Malika announced to Khloe.

She quickly shared that she does not have a father in mind. This is more about a timing issue.

Malika needs to decide whether she’ll carry Baby #2 herself (in which case she needs to do this ASAP) or via a gestational carrier, in which case she has more time.

Malika Haqq on The Kardashians Season 5.
On The Kardashians, Malika Haqq discusses her plans for Baby #2. (Image Credit: Hulu)

This is how Rob Kardashian returns to reality TV, sort of

Malika suggests that she might need to visit a sperm bank. Khloe jokes to the confessional camera that she’ll “try anything once.”

Khloe (perhaps jokingly, perhaps not) mentions that she still has frozen embryos from her IVF journey with cheating lying ex Tristan Thompson. Malika seems to feel flattered by the offer, and notes that Khloe does make beautiful babies.

But then, Khloe has another idea. She whips out her phone to call up her younger brother, Rob Kardashian.

Khloe Kardashian calls Rob Kardashian on The Kardashians Season 5.
On The Kardashians Season 5, Rob Kardashian returns to reality TV for the first time in years as he speaks on the phone to his sister, Khloe Kardashian. He does not appear on screen, however. (Image Credit: Hulu)

As longtime fans of this famous, messy family might recall, Rob Kardashian actually had a fling with Malika Haqq many years ago. That’s long in the past, and was before Rob Kardashian became a father to Dream or Malika became a mother to Ace.

“Real serious question, though, like Bible serious.” Khloe prefaces the question to Rob.

“Malika wants to have another kid and she was going to go to a sperm bank to get sperm,” she shares. “But I just said, ‘Why not get it from you?'”

Malika Haqq and Khloe Kardashian on The Kardashians Season 5.
On The Kardashians Season 5, Malika Haqq sems mostly entertained as Khloe Kardashian attempts to source some gametes from her own brother. (Image Credit: Hulu)

Rob Kardashian announces that he can’t WHAT anymore?

“I can’t [bleep] anymore,” Rob announces. From context clues, it sounds like he’s announcing that he does not feel up to the task of having sexual intercourse.

Malika half-jokingly asks: “Is it broke?”

“Rob, you don’t have to, you just put it in a cup,” Khloe wearily tells her brother. Rob repeatedly insists that his alleged inability to have sex makes this a non-starter, prompting her to demand: “But what does that have to do with sperm?”

Khloe Kardashian in shades on The Kardashians Season 5.
A blonde Khloe Kardashian wears sunglasses on The Kardashians Season 5. (Image Credit: Hulu)

“Ok, well we have time to prepare her womb so you could prepare your penis,” Khloe says awkwardly to her younger brother.

Then, having heard what she just said (and as Rob keeps repeating that he can’t bone anymore), Khloe says: “OK, I love you. This is weirder than I thought.” Yeah.

Khloe tells the confessional camera: “My brother is just, he’s just disgusting and we can’t ever just talk normal. But, I don’t think there’s a problem.” 

Rob Kardashian’s return to reality TV after so many years certainly could have gone better.

Rob Kardashian Returns to ‘The Kardashians’ and It’s Super Cringe was originally published on The Hollywood Gossip.