Teen Mom: The Tragically Trashy Tattoo Guide!

If you’re a fan of Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2, then you know that many of the people on the MTV reality shows have tattoos.

You also know that a lot of the tattoos …

… well, they aren’t that great.

Some are poorly done, some are  kind of strange, and some are nightmarish and horrifying and just so completely, unbelievably bad.

So steady yourself, perhaps grab some smelling salts and some pearls to clutch, and let’s rank all the Teen Mom ink we can get our eyes on!

1. Amber’s Tattoo of Leah

Ambers tattoo of leah
Here, let’s just start with the worst of the worst, all right? This is Amber Portwood’s portrait of her daughter, Leah. It’s right on her stomach, it also features a gigantic rose, and it’s not finished. Will she ever get it finished? It’s hard to say. We will ever be able to get this haunting image out of our heads? Unlikely.

2. Choices

Choices
Since we’re already talking about Amber’s tattoos, she also got this matching tattoo with Matt Baier, back when they first started dating. It reads “vero amore,” which is supposed to be Italian for “true love.” So that’s embarrassing.

3. Speaking of Embarrassing …

Speaking of embarrassing
Matt also has this huge tattoo of Amber’s name right on his forearm. Just right there on his arm where he has to look at it all day, every day.

4. Ugh

Matt baier book cover
Matt actually has several tattoos, many of which you can see on his nude book cover. We won’t waste more time on him here, so if you feel the need to look more closely at his naked greasy bod here, then you have our blessing. However, we will say that on his other arm, he has a couple of Chinese characters that he says mean “clean and sober,” but that Teen Mom detectives have actually determined mean “Lisa.”

5. Why Though?

Why though
As hard as it may be to believe, Matt isn’t the only guy to get Amber Portwood’s name tattooed on his body — Gary Shirley made the exact same mistake. Thankfully he was smart enough (???) to get the tattoo on his shoulder instead of on his forearm though, and he’s since covered up.

6. It’s Gary Time

Its gary time
Gary also has a … what is that, a sun? A blob with tentacles? Whatever it is, he’s also got some tattoo right in the middle of his chest, peeking out through all his body hair.

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Teen Mom: The Definitive, Tragically Trashy Tattoo Guide, Back and Trashier Than Ever!

If you’re a fan of Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2, then you know that many of the people on the MTV reality shows have tattoos.

You also know that a lot of the tattoos …

… well, they aren’t that great.

Some are poorly done, some are  kind of strange, and some are nightmarish and horrifying and just so completely, unbelievably bad.

So steady yourself, perhaps grab some smelling salts and some pearls to clutch, and let’s rank all the Teen Mom ink we can get our eyes on!

1. Amber’s Tattoo of Leah

Ambers tattoo of leah
Here, let’s just start with the worst of the worst, all right? This is Amber Portwood’s portrait of her daughter, Leah. It’s right on her stomach, it also features a gigantic rose, and it’s not finished. Will she ever get it finished? It’s hard to say. We will ever be able to get this haunting image out of our heads? Unlikely.

2. Choices

Choices
Since we’re already talking about Amber’s tattoos, she also got this matching tattoo with Matt Baier, back when they first started dating. It reads “vero amore,” which is supposed to be Italian for “true love.” So that’s embarrassing.

3. Speaking of Embarrassing …

Speaking of embarrassing
Matt also has this huge tattoo of Amber’s name right on his forearm. Just right there on his arm where he has to look at it all day, every day.

4. Ugh

Matt baier book cover
Matt actually has several tattoos, many of which you can see on his nude book cover. We won’t waste more time on him here, so if you feel the need to look more closely at his naked greasy bod here, then you have our blessing. However, we will say that on his other arm, he has a couple of Chinese characters that he says mean “clean and sober,” but that Teen Mom detectives have actually determined mean “Lisa.”

5. Why Though?

Why though
As hard as it may be to believe, Matt isn’t the only guy to get Amber Portwood’s name tattooed on his body — Gary Shirley made the exact same mistake. Thankfully he was smart enough (???) to get the tattoo on his shoulder instead of on his forearm though, and he’s since covered up.

6. It’s Gary Time

Its gary time
Gary also has a … what is that, a sun? A blob with tentacles? Whatever it is, he’s also got some tattoo right in the middle of his chest, peeking out through all his body hair.

View Slideshow

Joe Giudice Shows Off Huge New Tattoo, Is SO Horny for Teresa

Joe Giudice’s life is at a crossroads, but he’s certain of two things.

One, he adores his four daughters. Two, he still really wants to bone Teresa.

Joe giudice selfie

Joe Giudice knows that he screwed up.

The moment that Teresa declined to share a bed with him in Italy, he knew that his marriage was over.

But just because the couple separated late last year doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have two functioning eyes.

Sometimes, it’s hard to tell if his horny comments towards Teresa are meant as praise … or shade.

Teresa giudice a close up

Teresa posted (or rather, re-posted) this photo of herself all glammed up, reminding followers to tune in to the Reunion special.

She looks beautiful here, and Joe doesn’t necessarily disagree.

“Nice new boobs,” he writes, following that with a thumbs up emoji as if he were making lunch plans with coworkers on Slack.

Is he being shady or is he just thirsty?

Teresa giudice discusses joe

To be clear, Teresa’s boob job is no secret. She’s been open about it.

She revealed in late January that she’d had her breasts re-done 10 years after her last augmentation.

But even if Joe is not being shady, he’s clearly lusting after something that he can’t have.

Not only are they separated, but he hasn’t seen Teresa in many months.

Joe giudice ig to teresa nice new boobs

Joe hasn’t limited his social media activity to being horny on main towards a woman who doesn’t see any future with him.

He also showed off his new chest tattoo.

Folks, this thing is absolutely massive.

It takes up the entire left side of his his chest, from collarbone to just above his nipple.

Joe giudice bird tattoo

In the clip that we have included in this post, Joe shows off his fresh ink while doing the worst job of singing “Bohemian Rhapsody” that we’ve ever heard.

The tattoo depicts  birds. A larger, less literal bird swirling around a smaller bird in flight.

In his caption, he explains that this is all a tribute to his beloved daughters.

He singles out his eldest with his message. Clearly, she had asked to see it.

Joe giudice ig explains tattoo tribute gia replies

“This is it Gia hope you like it,” Joe begins his caption.

“I got this to symbolize that I will always be my girls [eagle] because it flies higher other [birds],” he curiously writes.

“I want to give them strength to mount up with wings as eagles,” Joe expresses, “they shall always run and not be spent.”

“My girls will always be powerful and courageous women,” he praises. “I promise to look over you as strength and shield them from.”

Joe giudice stands in the cold with gia giudice

For the record, eagles are known to eat other birds, but … it’s not that deep, folks.

“Love you dad,” Gia replies. She then writes: “Hope you liked mine too!”

It is unclear if she’s just pranking him or if she actually has an unrevealed tattoo. Either way, it’s very sweet.

Joe may be losing his entire mind being so far away from his loved ones, but maybe this very large tattoo will help him to stay grounded.

Joe giudice shows off huge new tattoo is so horny for teresa