In recent weeks, it’s looked more and more like Kourtney Kardashian will leave Keeping Up With The Kardashians to focus on her kids.
But in this sneak peek for Sunday’s episode, Kourtney seems less worried about her kids and more about her “brand.”
Just days before Penelope and North’s huge party, Kourt starts insisting that the candy-centric party be stripped of everything good and fun.
North West and Penelope Disick famously throw a joint party each year, and their moms go all out and collaborate on the young cousins’ festivities.
This year, however, Kourtney has decided to create unnecessary problems on purpose just eight days before the big bash.
“I’m trying to do it somewhat healthy,” Kourtney begins, before Kim cuts her off and states the obvious.
“It’s Candyland, Kourtney,” Kim reasonably points out. “it’s not going to be healthy.”
Kim then begins to explain: “Nobody wants …”
“It can be!” Kourtney exists. “It can be.”
“It’s not gonna be healthy no matter what,” Kourt then admits. “Sugar’s not healthy.”
“But I’m saying let’s do … not the nasty stuff with food coloring and all, like gross s–t.”
“Give me an example of candy you want,” Kim asks testily.
While it sounds like Kourtney wants to reduce a fun party to a bunch of colorless, flavorless sugar, she simply replies “I don’t know.”
“I’ll have to look into it,” Kourt adds, and then says something muffled about “cotton candy.”
“The party is in eight days,” an exhasperated Kim points out.
“Kourtney has this vision of no sugar, or no ‘disgusting chemicals’ in candy,” Kim laments to the confessional camera.
She characterizes: “It’s like a completely sugar-free, gluten-free, party-free, fun-free zone.”
Kim continues, noting that it’s “because Kourtney has decided that.”
“And it really wasn’t the theme of what North and Penelope wanted for their birthday,” she points out.
“There’s just better solutions to things,” Kourtney continues to argue in the car.
She adds: “Instead of your dated candy that’s like literally food coloring that gives people diseases.”
We would be fascinated to hear what sort of “diseases” Kourt images are given by food coloring.
“This is, like, not the right theme,” Kim calmly says. Kourtney’s plan would work if the party’s motif were orthorexia, but not Candyland.
“So switch the theme!” Kourtney suggests, imploring Kim to ignore the wishes of both of their daughters for their one big, shared party of the year.
“My brand is not …” Kourt continues, before being interrupted by her deeply annoyed sister.
“Your brand?!” Kim exclaims. “This is about a kids’ party. This is not about your brand!”
“Yeah, but I’m saying what I stand for,” Kourtney argues. “Not a… kids’ party.”
“Why does your car have leather seats?” Kim then asks very pointedly. “Why are you wearing plastic glasses?”
While leather is all-natural and might still fit Kourt’s vibe, plastic is a petroleum product and, as Kim points out, does not.
Clearly, her point is that Kourt’s absurd War On Childhood Fun is not consistent in her own lifestyle.
That is to say nothing of the fact that one candy-centric party is not the same thing as making candy a dietary staple.
“I can’t believe that Kim isn’t willing to compromise at all,” Kourtney complains to the confessional camera.
“And,” Kourt absurdly adds, “that she doesn’t feel guilty about giving not only her kids and my kids but all these kids that are coming to our party …”
“… So much junk and candy,” her deeply silly complaint continues.
“It’s like … such a dated vibe to be like that,” Kourt’s confessional concludes.
We then see Kim make her case: “I want a fun kids’ party with real candy.”
Kourtney dismissive replies: “Well, that’s your problem.”
Orthorexia is a condition in which people obsess over food and its ingredients and will be fixated on foods that make her feel “pure and healthy.”
We’re not saying that this is what Kourtney has, but … anyone who thinks that eating normal candy on one day is a health disaster has issues.
Disordered eating habits aside, Kourtney is actling like the villain of a children’s movie.