Even though Kourtney Kardashian has heard that Scott Disick is her soulmate, she’s still living her life and dating.
So when Ellen DeGeneres suggested a game of Who Would You Rather, it turned into something of a confessional.
Kourtney ended up revealing her unyielding thirst for John Mayer, and that she’s be totes down for a threesome with Leo DiCaprio.
Ellen sits down with Kourtney Kardashian and, as you’ll see in this clip, plays a game of Who Would You Rather.
The idea is that you choose between two people, identifying which you’d rather bang of the two.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’d normally want to bang your choice or that you find the one you turn down disgusting.
However, the first pair of options that Ellen gives Kourtney put that general rule to the test.
On the left, we see famous douche but totes-good-at-banging John Mayer.
On the right is Post Malone, who’s basically what would happen syphilis disguised itself as a person.
To no one’s surprise, Kourtney picks Mayer.
After this, however, her choices become a lot trickier … and her answers much less understandable.
She is presented with Trevor Noah, host of The Daily Show and South African hottie.
Once again, she selects John Mayer.
Hey, it wasn’t Trevor’s most flattering photo. That’s fair.
Then it’s John Mayer against Shawn Mendes, a no-brainer for anyone who isn’t (closely) related to Shawn.
He’s one of the most in-demand, widely thirsted after dudes on the planet right now.
“Huh,” Kourtney replies. “This is a good one.”
(She’s acting like this is a tough choice. Did Kourt not see his Calvin ad?)
“Okay,” Kourtney announces after a lengthy pause. “I’m gonna go in a direction that I don’t normally go in. So … John Mayer.”
We’re just gonna chalk that temporary insanity up to Kourtney being friendly with the Biebs, who is widely believed to envy Shawn for being everything he used to be and more.
Up next, she knows and loves the (very handsome) Lewis Hamilton, and once again picks John Mayer.
Ellen jokes that she can make this happen for Kourtney if need be.
Up next is Zac Efron, who has been a hearthrob for a solid decade now and shows no sign of running out of steam.
With suspicious alacrity, Kourtney answers: “John Mayer!”
Up next is Michael B. Jordan, who was so outrageously hot as Killmonger in Black Panther that he made people root for him purely out of thirst.
“Okay,” Kourtney admits. “This is getting good.”
She then makes an excuse for why she isn’t going with Michael.
Kourtney explains that she knows someone who either is or was with him (or something along those lines; she’s hella vague).
Not wanting to step on any toes or break any Girl Codes, Kourtney passes on him … once again sticking with John Mayer.
When it comes to Leonardo DiCaprio, Kourtney seems genuinely torn.
This time, she has no excuses — it seems like she must really, truly want to bone John Mayer.
(We know that he’s rumored to be super good at sex but he’s also … just a douche canoe who’s said shockingly racist things)
Kourtney asks for “both,” and Ellen, clearly at the end of her Straight Nonsense limit for the day, agrees to it. Anything to end this.
We may be stunned by some of her choices, but whether Kourthey is talking polyamory or just a threesome, we’re all for her living her best life.
Get it, girl!
Side note: we cannot believe that Kourtney waited until John Meyer was paired with Leo to ask about “both.”
Where was that energy when it come to Shawn Mendes? Or Zac Efron?
(We know why she passed on Michael B. Jordan, but she’s still on thin ice for that)
Still, we shouldn’t be so blown away that she seemed weirdly fixated on John Mayer.
Is he super smarmy? Sure.
But she was with Scott Disick for ages. The girl has a type.