We’re inching ever closer to it, Jersey Shore: Family Vacation viewers.
As you very likely know by now, Angelina had a total meltdown at her wedding reception in November because her co-stars/bridesmaids delivered an X-rated, insult-filled toast.
On Thursday night’s episode of this beloved MTV franchise, fans got to witness the speech’s evolution.
Although the wedding episode won’t air for at least two more weeks, this latest installment depicted Jenni “JWoww” Farley, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Deena Nicole Cortese meeting ahead of the rehearsal dinner to write out their message for the party.
Aware that Angelina’s sister, the maid of honor, would give a very nice and sweet speech, the trio chose to take theirs in a different sort of direction.
“All the memories I have of her are raunchy,” said Jenni.
“I feel like we should do the raunchy stuff,” added Snooki.
For a moment, at least, Jenni seemed aware that that roasting the f-ck out of the bride wasn’t exactly par for the reception course.
“There are normally schticky things you put in a speech at a wedding. And then there’s off the table, you cannot talk about,” she said, prior to adding:
“And I feel like our whole relationship with Angelina is off the table and what you shouldn’t talk about.”
Snooki, for her part, barely felt any guilt, saying nothing was off-limits and believing Angelina had a “good sense of humor” without taking “herself seriously.”
The speech writing proceeded to commence, with at least one brainstorm session resulting in the following passage:
You’re like a thorn in my thigh. You are the fly to my sh-t. The cockroach to our shore house. You are the trash to our bag.
You’re the spray to our vagina.
You are the dump to my island.
Weird. We wonder why Angelina took exception to this on her wedding day.
Under the impression that the speech would make Angelina “crack up,” Snooki said the women are “always roasting each other and being sarcastic, so…
“She’s gonna love this.”
(SPOILER ALERT: Nope. Snooki was mistaken. Friendships have basically been ruined over it. )
In a confessional, Jenni defended these mean words, telling the camera it would be BS to go with your basic, complimentary, romance-themed speech.
“Angelina is so over the top in life we decided that if we went up there with rainbows and unicorns, it wouldn’t be authentic to Angelina,” she explained.
“A raunchy person needs a raunchy speech. And I feel like she’s gonna get it and she’s gonna laugh and f–king love it.”
Oh, and Jenni also believed she was cursed by Angelina’s grandma.
So that also happened on the episode.
At the rehearsal itself, Grandma Angelina — who sells herself as a “psychic” — told Jenni that there were a lot of “phonies’ in the room, hinting that she included Jwoww among them.
“You don’t see that with me, do you?” Jenni asked, to which the woman replied: ‘I see a lot of this sh-t,” making a gesture that viewers couldn’t see.
‘I’m powerful,” this woman later told a crowd, calling herself the “white witch of God” and saying: “You gotta watch it.”
Hey, we’re just repeating what she said, okay? You may judge and/or try to decipher for yourself.
Perhaps sending the major fallout to come from her speech, Jenni did seem concerned about her conversation with the alleged witch.
“Great, grandma hexed me,” Jenni said on air. “And now this wedding is turning into a living horror movie.”
At least JWoww got that part right.
As we’ll soon see on a future episode, however, Jenni may only have herself to blame for what happened at Angelina’s wedding.
