Jennifer Aniston is FINE! Please stop assuming otherwise!
In a new interview withÂ Elle, theÂ Friends actress makes clear she’s tired of fans assuming it hasn’t been her month or even her year — just because she isn’t a wife.
She hits back at the very notion women should be looking for a “happy ending” in being married with kids, saying:
“We live in a society that messages women: By this age, you should be married; by this age, you should have children. Thatâ€™s a fairy tale. Thatâ€™s the mold weâ€™re slowly trying to break out of.
Why do we want a happy ending? How about just a happy existence? A happy process? Weâ€™re all in process constantly.”
She also points out it’s ONLY women whose lives are measured against this ridiculous ideal — never men!
“What quantifies happiness in someoneâ€™s life isnâ€™t the ideal that was created in the â€™50s. Itâ€™s not like you hear that narrative about any men…
Thatâ€™s part of sexism — itâ€™s always the woman whoâ€™s scorned and heartbroken and a spinster. Itâ€™s never the opposite. The unfortunate thing is, a lot of it comes from women. Maybe those are women who havenâ€™t figured out that they have the power, that they have the ability to achieve a sense of inner happiness.”
Lest folks think this protest is in response to her own perceived failure to live up to the gold standard, Aniston explains she’s always been ambivalent about the concept of matrimonial bliss:
“I also was never a kid who sat around and dreamed about a wedding, you know? Those were never my fantasies. When I was first popped the question, it was so foreign to me…
My priorities werenâ€™t about finding partnership and who am I gonna marry and what am I gonna wear on my wedding day. I was building houses with shoe boxes and toilet paper and felt. It was always about finding a home that felt safe. And Iâ€™m sure, because I was from a divorced-parent home, that was another reason I wasnâ€™t like, â€˜Well, that looks like a great institution.â€™”
Jen is clearly sick of the assumption she’s in some kind of pain just because she’s divorced.
According to her, those decisions were only made to make her happier, and she doesn’t regret them at all! She attests:
“I donâ€™t feel a void. I really donâ€™t. My marriages, theyâ€™ve been very successful, in [my] personal opinion. And when they came to an end, it was a choice that was made because we chose to be happy, and sometimes happiness didnâ€™t exist within that arrangement anymore. Sure, there were bumps, and not every moment felt fantastic, obviously, but at the end of it, this is our one life and I would not stay in a situation out of fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of not being able to survive.
To stay in a marriage based on fear feels like youâ€™re doing your one life a disservice. When the work has been put in and it doesnâ€™t seem that thereâ€™s an option of it working, thatâ€™s okay. Thatâ€™s not a failure. We have these clichÃ©s around all of this that need to be reworked and retooled, you know? Because itâ€™s very narrow-minded thinking.”
Oh, and as for not having kids? She’s fine with that too, and frankly is past caring if people believe her:
“Itâ€™s such a shallow lens that people look through. Itâ€™s the only place to point a finger at me as though itâ€™s my damage — like itâ€™s some sort of a scarlet letter on me that I havenâ€™t yet procreated, or maybe wonâ€™t ever procreate.”
She admits she actually finds the idea of having children “kind of frightening”:
“Some people are just built to be wives and have babies. I donâ€™t know how naturally that comes to me.”
But again, she stresses, that’s OK too!
And hey, if she does decide to have a child, she may not even NEED a partner!
“Who knows what the future holds in terms of a child and a partnership — how that child comes in…or doesnâ€™t? And now with science and miracles, we can do things at different times than we used to be able to.”
Ch-ch-check out Jen’s entire interview, including quite a lot about working with heroÂ Dolly Parton onÂ Dumplin’ HERE.
And see her cover shot and more (below)!
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Jennifer Aniston spent a decade on â€˜Friendsâ€™ and has starred in more than 30 movies, but the role that sticks to her most tenaciously is Americaâ€™s Suffering Sweetheart. â€œWe live in a society that messages women: By this age, you should be married; by this age, you should have children,â€� Aniston told ELLE. â€œThatâ€™s a fairy tale. Thatâ€™s the mold weâ€™re slowly trying to break out of.â€� Link in bio for ELLEâ€™s full January 2019 cover story.â�£ â�£ ELLE January 2019 credits:â�£ Cover star: #JenniferAnistonâ�£ Editor-in-chief: @ninagarciaâ�£ Photographer: @zoeygrossmanâ�£ Chief photography director: @alixbcampbellâ�£ Design director: @mhoopsdesignâ�£ Stylist: @edmondalisonâ�£ Makeup: @gucciwestmanâ�£ Hair: @mrchrismcmillanâ�£ Nails: #MiwaKobayashi
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#JenniferAniston on her past marriages: â€œMy marriages, theyâ€™ve been very successful, in [my] personal opinion. And when they came to an end, it was a choice that was made because we chose to be happy, and sometimes happiness didnâ€™t exist within that arrangement anymore. At the end of it, this is our one life and I would not stay in a situation out of fear. To stay in a marriage based on fear feels like youâ€™re doing your one life a disservice.â€� Link in bio for ELLEâ€™s full January 2019 cover story.â�£ â�£ ELLE January 2019 credits:â�£ Cover star: #JenniferAnistonâ�£ Editor-in-chief: @ninagarciaâ�£ Photographer: @zoeygrossmanâ�£ Chief photography director: @alixbcampbell â�£ Design director: @mhoopsdesign â�£ Stylist: @edmondalisonâ�£ Makeup: @gucciwestmanâ�£ Hair: @mrchrismcmillanâ�£ Nails: #MiwaKobayashiâ�£ Wearing: @gucci, @cartier
[Image viaÂ FayesVision/WENN.]
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