Tyler Baltierra Pens SUPER Horny Anniversary Poem for Catelynn Lowell

Tyler Baltierra and Catelynn Lowell know how to get NSFW.

If there is one thing that these two love, it’s posting super horny public tributes to each other on special occasions.

Well, it’s that time again.

This time, it’s their seventh wedding anniversary … and Tyler’s poetry is nothing short of raunchy.

Catelynn and Tyler's 15th Anniversary
Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra pose for a cute photo together on their 15th anniversary.

Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra have been together for the majority of their lives.

However, they married just seven years ago, on August 22, 2015.

Monday was their anniversary. Tyler’s poem made Teen Mom fans do a double-take, and then a triple-take.

“Blooming moon flower,” Tyler wrote. “Let me drink your honey.”

He continued: “Dripping petals, Luscious nectarine.”

“Your lips taste like cherries,” Tyler praised. “My favorite flavor.”

tyler ripped 1

“Your roots reach deep into the heart of soil,” Tyler’s poem continued.

“Nourishing love,” he wrote. “Nurturing touch.”

Tyler then appraised: “Our lust still feels young & like the warmth of a sunrise.”

Catelynn on Insta
Looking great, Catelynn! Tyler shared this lovely photo of his wife on Instagram in late 2021.

“I crave your embrace,” Tyler penned. “The comforting polarity keeps me in place.”

He then added: “It drips slow from head to toe.”

Getting even hornier, Tyler invited Catelynn to “Engulf me in your morning glow.”

Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra, 2018 Selfie
Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra are really, really, ridiculously good-looking together in this selfie that Catelynn shared on Instagram.

“Senses rage like flames, they wrap me in a safe space,” Tyler affirmed in his poem.

“You are my one true sunlight,” he then praised, “Chasing every shadow.”

Tyler concluded his poem: “Morphing them into the most beautiful of nights.”

Tyler Baltierra Bulge
There’s no other way to put this: Take a look here at Tyler Baltierra’s shorts. It looks like he has a big penis.

“Happy anniversary babe!” Tyler proclaimed, switching from poetry to prose.

“I love you more than I could ever express,” he proudly affirmed.

We can certainly tell — even though he is expressing quite a lot.

Catelynn and Tyler have fallen on hard times. (Photo via Instagram)

In case you are one of those folks who thought that Harry Styles’ “Watermelon Sugar” was about fruit, we’ll spell it out.

A lot of poetry about flowers and petals are actually about sex. It’s vulva imagery.

Similarly, a great deal of poetry about fruit, particularly the eating of fruit, is about sex. Fruit is wet and sometimes messy.

And on top of their salaries, Cate and Tyler make big bucks from sponsored content and other partnerships, likely bringing their household income to over $1 million.

If Tyler had posted that deeply sexual poem to Twitter, he would have received countless replies about the “horny police.”

Instead, he shared the artistic expression on Instagram, where the relative obscurity of comments makes people strike a different tone.

Well, sometimes, anyway. People still heckled him a bit.

catelynn celebrates

But you know what? This is sweet.

There are so many people in the world who act like they hate their spouses or other partners.

It is nice to see so much genuine enthusiasm.

Tyler Baltierra Pens SUPER Horny Anniversary Poem for Catelynn Lowell was originally published on The Hollywood Gossip .