A retired quarterback, a divorced dad, and a television football analyst walk into a bar…

That’s not a setup to a joke! That’s just Tom Brady‘s life right now! But it could be a setup to a joke. Because if this shocking new report really is true, this might be the very beginning of TB12’s stand-up comedy career. Wait, WHAT???

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So, the former New England Patriots star had been all signed up to begin a career as a football analyst and broadcaster with Fox Sports after his playing days. The deal is a massive one — coming in at $375 million — and it’s natural for the 45-year-old quarterback to transition away from the gridiron and into a public-facing gig doing something he knows really well.

But now that’s apparently up in the air? At least for the next year or so?! According to a shocking new report first published by Radar Online early on Monday morning, the ex-Tampa Bay Buccaneers star is thinking about delaying his Fox Sports football broadcasting gig to BECOME A STAND-UP COMEDIAN.

We don’t even know what to say to that. Is this a real thing?? Well, apparently, it is! The report cites an insider who claims they have heard some of Brady’s stand-up. The only problem is that it sounds like the jokes are really bad. Like, so bad that friends are trying to talk him out of pursuing it any further. OUCH!

Per the report, the ex-football superstar supposedly got the showbiz bug after his part in the recently-released film 80 For Brady. The anonymous source claims the film’s three veteran stars — Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, and Rita Moreno — “gushed” over the hunky ex University of Michigan gridiron great while he was on set.

Getting gassed up like that, the insider alleges, led to Tom apparently thinking he’s got the chops to make it in the cutthroat stand-up world:

“The ladies were super nice to him and he did a nice job reading professionally written material in a small part — but he’ll be playing in a whole different league if he takes up the stand-up stage. He does a great impersonation of former teammate Rob Gronkowski — and his over-the-top Boston accent is hilarious.”

Uhhh… OK…

So then what’s the scouting report on his set? Does TB12 even have any good material?? Not according to this mole. The news outlet’s report claims this painfully unfunny quip is part of Tom’s set:

“What did the linebacker say to the flight attendant? Put me in coach!”

Oof.

That’s seriously not going to cut it. Thankfully, it sounds like friends are at least attempting to intervene. An insider who “heard the football star’s material” is already said to be trying to pull the plug:

“Tom was a terrific quarterback, but he needs to toss this idea before it’s too late.”

And that source summed it up with this cutting conclusion:

“As a comic — he’s strictly a water boy.”

Yikes!! That hurts. But sometimes, the truth hurts! And it still needs to be said! If Tom really is dropping jokes like the one noted (above), stand-up comedy probably isn’t for him. Just saying!!

Related: Tom Claims He Didn’t Know What A ‘Thirst Trap’ Was Before Posting THAT Underwear Pic!

For what it’s worth, an earlier Radar Online report previously claimed Tom is trying to use this time before his Fox Sports deal kicks off to win back the heart of ex-wife Gisele Bündchen. By postponing his TV gig, Tom is said to be trying to figure out how he might be able to reconcile with Gisele after splitting from her in the middle of last year.

Late last week, that same media org quoted an insider who said:

“The biggest obstacle between them was Gisele’s complaints about Tom putting football before family, so he decided to show her he’s willing to focus on them before taking the job at FOX. His only goal right now is to get his family back.”

OK, so now we’re really confused. Tom and Gisele supposedly first split up about a year ago because she was mad he returned to the NFL to play one more season. Got it. And now that he’s retired again, it’s supposedly his “only goal” to “get his family back” based on that report from last week. Even if that means delaying his Fox Sports job. But now he also wants to be a stand-up comic, too? WTF?? Tom, man, figure out one plan and go with it. Jeez!

What do U think about these conflicting comedy claims, Perezcious readers?? Would you watch a TB12 stand-up set? To be honest, we totally would — but only if a defensive lineman can sack Tom on stage if his material sucks. LOLz!!!

Also, no offense to Tom, but we’re going to remain skeptical about his comedy dreams for now. After all, we’re still waiting on the beginning of Kim Kardashian‘s supposedly imminent stand-up career. When that happens, then we’ll turn our funny focus to Gisele’s ex. Just saying!

Share all thought reactions to this comedy caper down the comments (below), y’all!

[Image via MEGA/WENN]

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