Colleen Ballinger is returning to YouTube months after she was accused of racist and inappropriate behavior.

The 36-year-old content creator, best known for her alter ego Miranda Sings, was accused of maintaining exploitative relationships and grooming her young fans in June. At the time, she responded by uploading a 10-minute song about the allegations.

A report followed that accused her of being racist on the set of her Netflix show Haters Back Off. A video from a prior performance also resurfaced, prompting questions about if she was wearing blackface.

Amid the backlash, Colleen‘s tour dates were cancelled. However, she didn’t issue another public response. That changed on Saturday (November 18), when she returned to YouTube with a new vlog and an extended introduction.

In it, she opened up about everything from the song she posted to what she has been up to in between videos. Colleen also addressed her past errors and plans for the future.

Read more about Collen Ballinger’s return to YouTube…

“Sorry I’ve been gone for so long. I’ve really missed this. I’ve missed talking to everyone every single day,” Colleen said at the start of a 13-minute vlog.

She spent several minutes speaking candidly to her fans through the camera about the controversies.

“Obviously the last video that I posed on here… It’s really embarrassing to say the least. I was being accused of some pretty awful things, and I was just mad and I should have handled that situation with maturity and empathy. But instead, I just let my ego take over, and I’m really disappointed in myself,” the YouTuber said about her initial response to the backlash.

She continued, saying, “Over the last 15 years of my career, there have been moments where I was immature and inappropriate with some of my comedy. And there were times when I did not put enough thought into some of my fan interactions and because of that behavior people got hurt. I am so sorry.”

“I never wanted to hurt anybody but it’s clear that I did, and I feel like there’s probably people who are disappointed or feel abandoned by me because of my silence over the last few months,” she said.

As for why she was absent so long, the reason is two-fold. “I needed to take time to make sure I was listening and learning as much as possible,” Colleen explained. “I also needed to get the help that I needed to be ok.”

Elsewhere in the vlog, she said, “The majority of the last few months has just been spent in therapy.”

“I’m back, and I’m here now. I am not a perfect person, and there are plenty of things in my past that I wish I could go back and redo and fix and change,” she admitted. “I don’t have control over the things people say about me. I only have control over my actions moving forward and so I’m going to do everything that I can to make sure that I create a positive, kind, inclusive, safe space online with my content. If you want to be a part of my journey online I would love to have you. And if not I completely understand,” she said.

Colleen continued, adding, “I do not expect anyone to welcome me back with open arms. I don’t expect to change anyone’s mind with this video. I just wanted to come on here and say that I’m sorry, and I wanted to try and show people that it’s possible for someone to grow and learn and be better after making mistakes many, many years ago.”

Following the extended introduction, Colleen took fans along for a day in her life, talking about her children, chickens and more.

The clip was met with surprise but excitement from fans. It was viewed nearly 40,000 times within its first few hours of being live.

If you missed it, amid the backlash to Colleen, her ex-husband Joshua David Evans also spoke out and made some accusations of his own.

Press play on Colleen Ballinger’s new vlog below…