[Warning: Potentially Triggering Content]
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 3 reunion became super emotional as Jessi Ngatikaura made a devastating reveal…
It all started on Thursday’s special when host Stassi Schroeder asked Mikayla Matthews about her intimacy issues with husband Jace Terry. Fans know she shared last season that she was sexually abused “for about four or five years” by someone close to her family until she was 15 years old. The trauma from the horrible experience has sadly impacted her marriage, as the couple struggles to connect physically and emotionally, which they opened up about in Season 3.
When asked for an update at the reunion, Mikayla explained that things have not improved, especially as she battles her chronic health issue and is postpartum after welcoming their fourth baby:
“Since that time, I feel like I haven’t had my body or felt in my body for a long time, because of my health issues. After having the baby, it’s like my health stuff all came back 180, overnight. And then for him, it’s still hard because we’re still having the intimacy issues. And I’m like, ‘I don’t know how to overcome it.’ I think that’s what’s hard.”
Related: Marciano DEFENDS Jessi’s Husband Jordan After Emotional Abuse Claims
Oof. Throughout the conversation, Jessi teared up. And she then made a gut-wrenching confession — she could unfortunately relate to Mikayla’s story. While going to therapy to work through the affair and emotional abuse with her husband, Jordan Ngatikaura, she realized she was rape at 19:
“I actually loved watching Mikayla’s story because I knew that it happened to her, but seeing it play out, seeing her thoughts and feelings behind it, I can relate. I’ve been doing a lot of therapy because of mine and Jordan’s situation, and I actually uncovered the memory that I was raped when I was 19.”
Oh no. Jessi explained that the terrible incident started a lot of her problems:
“It really started a lot of my issues, about going emotionally numb and pushing people away and feeling not good enough.”
And following the discovery, her issues with Jordan worsened:
“And after uncovering that… me and Jordan already had our struggles, but that made them worse. I know exactly how you feel. I don’t want him to touch me, and it’s not his fault, but it’s so crazy how your body reacts. It’s not just your emotions, you know? And so that’s been another layer of healing for me that watching her story, it really hit home for me. I understand fully how that can feel.”
It’s heartbreaking to hear…
Conner Leavitt also started to cry while hearing Mikayla and Jessi’s stories. Last season’s reunion, he told the cast that he had been raped as a child. That also led to issues in his own marriage to Whitney, so he knows exactly what the other two women are going through. He apologized to Jessi for what she went through before saying he also “struggled with intimacy in polarizing ways” after his abuse:
“I don’t want to speak for Mikayla or Jessi or anyone else, but it can be challenging to rewire your brain, at least for me. The two polarizing parts are like, ‘Please don’t touch me, I don’t have control here and it scares me,’ to like hypersexuality, like ‘I want to have as much sex as possible to put distance between me and that event. I just need to get that out of my system.’”
Addressing Jace and Jordan, Conner added:
“So I don’t know if I can necessarily relate with your relationships, but I do know that the patience that you are giving your spouses is healing and it is breeding intimacy between the both of you.”
Mikayla acknowledged that talking about these details is so hard, and it has forced her to leave her “comfort zone.” However, if she didn’t, she doesn’t think she would’ve said anything about it:
“I don’t know when I would have talked about it. For me, I would probably just push it away until I was 40 or 50, so I think this is a great thing. All the conversations we’ve had, I think, are amazing, and I think they’re helping so many people that are watching, so I think that’s my pro.”
We’re so sorry that any of them had to go through that. But we applaud Jessi, Mikayla, and Conner for opening up. No doubt sharing their stories will help others who are dealing with similar challenges.
If you have sincere cause to suspect child abuse, call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-Child or 1-800-422-4453, or go to www.childhelp.org.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual violence and would like to learn more about resources, consider checking out https://www.rainn.org/resources.
[Image via Hulu/YouTube]
The post <i>Mormon Wives</i>' Jessi Reveals She Was Raped At 19: 'It Really Started A Lot Of My Issues' appeared first on Perez Hilton.