Colton Underwood: I Was Suicidal Before Coming Out as Gay

He was the first virgin in Bachelor history, and now Colton Underwood has confessed to being something else entirely:

The first gay man in Bachelorr history.

During an interview with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America, Underwood came out as gay on Wednesday, April 14.

Such a revelation may not have come as a complete shock to those who have closely been paying attention to his journey and yet... wow.

We salute Colton's bravery and admire the raw honesty and vulnerability he displayed during this lengthy interview and discussion.

We've highlighted some of the main sections below, including the two words that have changed Colton's life forever... how he feels about ex-girlfriend Cassie Randolph... and whether or not he's actually dated a man just yet.

1. Speaking His Truth

Speaking his truth
Colton Underwood shocked Bachelor Nation in April 2021 when he came out and said two simple, albeit powerful words. The former ABC lead told Robin Roberts, "I'm gay."

2. Should This Be a Total Shock?

Colton underwood on good morning america
No. In his memoir, Underwood admitted to Googling the question "Am I Gay?" back in high school and said he wondered about his sexuality because he played football... yet didn't drink or have sex. And didn't really want to do either of those things, either.

3. Why Did He Come Out Now?

Colton underwood on his insta
The former Bachelor said that he was motivated to come out after getting “into a place with [his] personal life that was dark and bad," telling Roberts: "I think overall the reason why now is because I got to a place where I didn’t think I was ever going to share this. I would have rather died than say, ‘I'm gay.'"

4. Did the Pandemic Play a Role?

Colton underwood sips coffee
Kind of. "Obviously this year has been a lot for a lot of people," he added. "It's probably made a lot of people look themselves in the mirror and figure out who they are and what they've been running from or what they've been putting off in their lives And for me, I've ran from myself for a long time. I've hated myself for a long time."

5. Does He Regret Appearing on The Bachelor?

Colton and cassie the bachelor
"Do I regret handling it the way that I did? I do. I do think I could have handled it better. I'll say that."

6. Underwood Was Suicidal Before Coming Out

Colton underwood video pic
"There was a moment in L.A. that I woke up, and I didn’t think I was gonna wake up. I didn’t have the intentions of waking up, and I did. I think for me that was, like, my, my wake-up call. Like, this is your life, take back control. Beyond that, [I had] even just suicidal thoughts. I’m driving my car close to a cliff, like, ‘Oh if this goes off the cliff, it’s not that big of a deal.’ I don’t feel that anymore."
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