Dean McDermott is airing out his dirty laundry after he and Tori Spelling ended their tumultuous relationship earlier this year.

The Chopped Canada host is opening up about what went wrong between him and the Beverly Hills, 90210 star, and boy, it’s a LOT. In an exclusive interview with DailyMail.com published on Wednesday, the father of six revealed the main reason he and Tori went their separate ways was because of his substance abuse — despite the reality star wanting to help him. He said:

“All Tori’s ever done to this day is want me to be happy and healthy and I inflicted a lot of damage and pain on that woman. I’m taking accountability for that today. And it’s the biggest amend that I’m ever going to have to make.”

Wow.

Dean revealed their split back in June was the culmination of several years all coming to a head. He explained that marital issues began erupting 10 years ago when he cheated on her with Emily Goodhand in 2013 — just three years after the married couple renewed their vows in 2010. But rather than being angry, Tori used it as an opportunity to get him help for his alcohol addiction… But when they began shooting their reality show True Tori around the same time, Dean found it difficult to get through all their issues while being broadcasted on TV:

“That was really hard to get through and be sober while trying to solve your marital problems in the town square. What a horrible idea. What a horrible idea. I thought it would help people. I was too fresh out of treatment to even think straight that that would be a bad idea.”

Oof.

And by 2017, when financial issues began to plague the pair, Dean took up the bottle again — and he decided to move out of their bedroom:

“We’d been having problems and it just got worse because we stopped sleeping in the same room.”

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He says his decision was exacerbated when Tori’s animals, including dogs, a pig, and a chicken, all sharing the bedroom space, kept having accidents in the space:

“I just couldn’t deal with that anymore. So, I created a healthy boundary for myself and I said, I can’t do this. I can’t live and sleep in this kind of condition. I drew that boundary for myself and moved to another room and things just progressed from there. There were no efforts to sort of remedy the problem to get back into the room.”

That makes sense, but the real issue came after the pair began treating each other less like lovers and more like roommates. And family time also came to a screeching halt:

“Rarely, rarely, rarely did we eat together. We’d sit down and have a family meal but it was always disjointed. It made me feel worse because I knew I was a big part of [the problem] and I was at a place where I felt there was nothing I could do about it. Add in the fact that we’re not sleeping in the same bed — it’s like docking your iPhone at night. If you don’t dock your iPhone at night, you wake up with a dead battery.  believe that the marital bed is the docking station for your relationship. Where you connected each other. It’s where you download information. It’s where you spend time together. It’s where you’re intimate, it’s where you love. You laugh and you cry. So that’s gone. The relationship suffers greatly, greatly. When you’re in a roommate situation and there’s no connection or intimacy, what do you expect is going to happen? I’ve never been so lonely in the same house with six other people, never been so lonely in my life. I didn’t know how to get out of the situation I was in. I was hurting. I was heartbroken. I was depressed. I hated myself. I didn’t want to live.”

During that period, he says his drinking got much worse:

“Alcohol made me feel good enough. I started feeling good enough until it got to a point where it didn’t — it ended up in isolation. It ended up with me drinking a fifth of tequila every night, seven days a week, and a handful of narcos [prescription meds] by myself with a beautiful family in the other room. That’s what it led to and that’s what led to the brokenness and to what happened between me and Tori.”

Holy s**t…

By June of this year, Dean says he was having frequent alcoholic rages that “petrified” his “six beautiful children,” including Liam, 16, Stella, 15, Hattie, 11, Finn, 10, Beau,  6, and his eldest son from a previous relationship, Jack, 25. Yet he couldn’t stop. He said he’d “wake up angry” every day, and was just so totally “hopeless.”

Still, Tori continued to try and help him:

“She came from just such a place of love and wanting me to be healthy and happy. It was co-dependence. She put my wellbeing well ahead of hers. She loved me so much that she didn’t really want to tell me how it was affecting her, although I could see it in her face. But again, I was so selfish that it was like, okay, note that, but never mind. Move on.”

But her breaking point finally came when he posted THAT split announcement in June, which he says he did while DRUNK. It was at that moment that Tori asked him to leave, helping him find the Harmony Place rehab center where he spent 40 days.

We know the story from there — just before, Tori and the kids also had to move out after their home became infested with mold, and Dean now lives in a sober living home with eight other men. And despite his relationship with Lily Calo, he says he still loves Tori:

“She’s a survivor. She always lands on her feet. And like I said, she is one of the hardest working people I’ve ever met. She’s dedicated to our children, and she’s dedicated to her craft.”

He concluded his interview:

“Life happens. It’s tough having kids. It’s tough living in this town, tough, having financial problems. It’s just really tough. I’m not making excuses. I certainly had my hand in it in the dissolution of the relationship. But yeah, hasn’t been easy. Nothing in life is easy.”

Since June, the two haven’t done much speaking, but Dean says they’re starting to text now because he misses the kids.

Wow. What an emotionally draining decade. There was SO much that went into their split. We hope Dean continues to prioritize his health, and we’re so glad Tori is getting some of the love she deserves — which Dean doesn’t seem to be too keen on.

Thoughts, Perezcious readers? Let us know in the comments down below…

If you or someone you know is experiencing substance abuse, help is available. Consider checking out the resources SAMHSA provides at https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline or check out StartYourRecovery.org.

[Images via Dean McDermott/Instagram, & Avalon/MEGA/WENN]

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