Kody Brown is searching for answers.
Anywhere he can get them.
On part three of the Sister Wives Season 16 one-on-one special, which airs this Sunday night at 10/9c on TLC, the 52-year old will open up about his now-former spouse, Christine Brown.
In doing so, Kody will admit to his own disdain for plural marriage, even questioning why God made him a polygamist at one point.
"When you really start getting honest, you start looking up to the heavens and going, 'Geez, Father. You inspired me to do this. Why is it such a mess now?'" Kody actually says on stage during the reunion special.
"It really has set me on my heels and had me questioning the lifestyle itself. It's a challenge."
Yes, Kody really is blaming God here for his predicament.
He really is wondering why his romantic life in such a mess in the wake of Christine announcing her departure this November, as if his own selfish and sexist behavior has played no role.
When host Sukanya Krishnan asks whether he's questioning his own polygamy, Kody replied:
"Oh, hell yes -- yes. I question it all the time."
Later in the footage, obtained and published by People Magazine, each of Kody's sister wives (along with Christine) address the cruel possibility of their husband abandoning plural marriage someday.
"If he doesn't love plural marriage, what does he do?" asks Robyn Brown.
Seems like a fair question, doesn't it?
Continues Robyn in the sneak peek, regarding what would happen if Kody walked away:
"That's three of us or all of us that he moves on from, and we've seen that in our culture. We have seen that where a man decides he's done living plural marriage and he leaves all of his wives or leaves all but one and he goes and starts a new life.
"He's tired of it."
For her part, Meri is merely friends with Kody. The two haven't had sex in 10 years.
And yet, despite the lack of romance, Meri says on part three of the special that she still sees "the value" in sticking around.
However, she's uncertain whether Kody still thinks plural marriage is "worthwhile," Meri tells Krishnan on air.
Addressing whether Kody is permitted to "give up" the lifestyle and leave, Meri says "anybody can do whatever they want."
"If he wants to give up, he can give up," she adds. "If he wants to walk away, he can walk away."
Kody, though, has said the opposite.
On multiple occasions of late, the father of 18 has said any sister wife is allowed to separate from him at any time -- but that he simply can't do so.
Even though he's admittedly an awful partner.
As for how he feels about Christine taking this advice and leaving her immediate family behind in Arizona?
“Christine’s moved; she’s left. We are no longer married,” Kody says in a separate clip made public by Us Weekly.
“I love her, and I don’t know what to do ‘cause I’ve got the grief but I’m still angry.
"I’ll take the grief right now for a little while just to be out of the anger phase, and then [I’m] just moving on. [I] just [want to] have a good life and find happiness.”