One of Love Is Blind‘s most embattled stars is speaking out about her portrayal on-screen.

If you’ve been watching season 4 of Netflix‘s dating show, you know exactly who Micah Lussier is. She’s taken heat for her “mean girl” behavior both in and out of the pods since this season started streaming. Whether she was being rude to other contestants with pal Irina Solomonova in the women’s lounge at the start of the season or flirting with her ex Kwame Appiah — another woman’s fiancé! — out in the real world, she’s been slammed for pretty much everything she did on the show! The controversy got so bad, she had to issue a public apology late last month!

And she’s not done paying for her actions yet!

Related: Love Is Blind Jackie Clarifies Relationship Timelines With Josh & Marshall!

On Tuesday, the 27-year-old sat down with Entertainment Tonight to address her behavior on the experimental dating show. Getting very emotional from the get-go, she said through tears:

“I was caught up in my own story. I was trying to get this happy ending, and I think I was more interested in what was going on with me than with anyone else. While it wasn’t meant to be mean, I wasn’t caring or helping them through their difficult times.”

One instance, in particular, that drew attention was her decision to get flirty with Kwame in the pool at a resort in Mexico right after getting engaged to Paul Peden. Micah claims she’s spoken to Kwame’s fiancée Chelsea Griffin and apologized:

“When things were happening, I definitely had conversations with Chelsea. The disrespect shown at the pool party is embarrassing. Obviously, we were all drinking, but it doesn’t erase the fact that it was inappropriate. I think it was disrespectful to her and to Paul, so I apologized to her then. But watching it back, it was still, it was upsetting for me, so I imagine that it was upsetting for her. So I felt the need to reach out again and just remind her that I’m sorry and if she wants to talk or get more information, I was open to that.”

While Chelsea hasn’t discussed chatting with Micah about the pool scene, she did say she was “very upset” watching the scene back and felt like someone had stabbed her in the back.

Related: Love Is Blind’s Colleen Doesn’t Wear Engagement Ring From Husband Matt!

But the pool interaction wasn’t the only time Micah was called out for being rude to both Chelsea and her own husband-to-be. She and her ex also shared an intimate chat during Chelsea’s birthday party later in the season, which she said caught her “off guard” when she watched it back. The marketing manager noted:

“I know at that time, Kwame and I were both completely committed to both our relationships. So watching it, kind of gave me discomfort. I immediately felt for Chelsea and felt for Paul… I was like, ‘Oh my god, you’re not going to like this. I don’t like it.’ But I think it came from a place of just continuing to get that closure. I felt like every time I saw him, I was trying to apologize for the abrupt end and maybe overcompensating a little bit for how I made him feel.”

Hmm. Completely committed?? She and Kwame kept asking each other if they thought they made the right choice when picking a partner. Kinda felt like they were hoping they’d get a second chance. Just saying…

When asked how she feels now that it’s been a year since the show was filmed, the reality star candidly told the outlet:

“I feel like I matured a lot throughout the process. I feel like I still have a lot to go.”

We bet the internet’s harsh reaction to her part in the show was a big wake-up call! Judging how emotional she was in this interview, we have a feeling the live reunion special on Sunday, April 16 will be a doozy for her! Her fate with Paul still remains up in the air, too, so there’s a lot more drama to come! For now, check out her candid interview (below)!

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[Image via E! News/YouTube & Netflix]

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