We try very hard here at The Hollywood Gossip to stay out of other people's sex lives.
It's just none of our business, you know?
On part one of the Sister Wives Season 16 special, however? Which just aired on Sunday night?
Meri and Kody Brown were the ones who essentially opened their bedroom door and invited viewers to come on in.
Earlier this year, Kody made it clear on air that he and Meri have only been friends for many years now.
However, it wasn't clear until this special installment of the TLC series that we learned just how friendly these spiritual spouses have been, and for how long.
Which is to say the following:
While chatting with host Sukanya Krishnan, Meri confessed on stage that she had not slept with Kody for 10 years.
How did things fall so fall and so hard (or not hard, if you catch our drift) for this couple, who were legally married frrom 1994 through 2014?
“We were very much in love,” Meri recalled on the special of her early romance with Kody during the tell-all.
“When Janelle came into the picture, it was a struggle for me. Of course, there’s jealousy. I didn’t know how to handle it."
Meri noted that her and the other sister wives have always had different ideals, admitting that she “had a harder time when Christine came,” adding:
“It was definitely a roller coaster relationship.”
In 2015, after Kody divorced Meri so he could instead marry Robyn and officially adopt her kids from a previous relationship, Meri actually tried to date.
It was horribly, however.
She ended up in an infamous catfishing scandal, one in which some cruel Internet trolls pretended to be a man interested in Meri.
It was clear on this tell-all that Kody couldn't forgive Meri for stepping outside of the marriage (even if, again, he was the one who divorced her.)
“Meri had an affair. She was leaving my ass. She made it clear to everybody that she was getting out of there. She was done with us. She can’t admit it now," Kody told the host in anger last night.
Citing the catfish, Kody claimed the family “circled the wagons” to “protect her when she realized she’d been dupped," adding:
"She was deceived. She found something better. She was leaving me for a better, richer man.”
To her credit, Meri at least stood up for herself amid this flurry of accusations.
"I wasn’t leaving, but during that time, because I was very much in a dark place, I considered all my options,” she explained, acknowledging that Kody took it as a betrayal... even though she had no plans to leave him or the plural family.
“Did I start talking to this person? Absolutely I did. Did I think I was talking to a friend? Absolutely.
"It literally was not just, ‘OK, I’m going to meet some dude online and fall in love and want to leave my family,’” Meri concluded.
“A lot of people like to look at that as the defining moment and the fracture in mine and Kody’s relationship and it wasn’t.”
For his part, Kody emphasized that he's done pleasuring Meri in a physical sense... much to the latter's chagrin.
"That’s definitely something that I miss. I miss emotional intimacy with him. I miss conversations with him. I miss physical intimacy with him,” she said.
“I would love it if he would hold my hand. I have hope that he will [come back to full fellowship] and also if he never does then I’m going to create my own peace and happiness within the family relationships that I do have.
"This is my family."
Kody agreed that Meri is “still part of the family,” yet when it comes to the physical side of their union, he doesn’t want any part of it. Not ever again.
“I’m not ever going to be in a conjugal relationship with her because I’m not going to go through that emotional torture ever again,” he said.
“I’m not trying to make Meri sound bad, it’s just a bad match.”
Kody elaborated on this awkward topic:
“There’s a point where intimacy is just damage.
"It’s misleading to have intimacy in a relationship where there’s no real safety. I’m not going there. No, and I never will again. I will be her friend. I will do what I can to protect her.
"I’m never going to feel safe in an intimate place."
With all this said... with Kody taking this strong stance... why the heck does Meri stick around?
“From where I am, it’s been 31 years now that we’ve been married [and] I’m still committed. I’ve made my choice. I’m still here. I do still have hope. I want there to be [a future in full fellowship],” she said, insisting that she’s still invested because she loves Kody.
“I just feel peace when I think about staying in the family because it’s what I want.
"It’s what I know is right for me.”