As we previously shared, Doherty revealed her breast cancer had returned in early 2020 after privately fighting once again for a year. At the time, she only told those closest to her, including husband Kurt Iswarienko and longtime friend Sarah Michelle Gellar, but a short period later, her life changed even more.

Luke Perry, her former on-screen love interest from 90210, tragically passed away after suffering a stroke, which gave Shannen a new perspective on living the rest of her days to the fullest. With some convincing from co-star and friend Brian Austin Green, who was aware of her cancer returning, she reluctantly joined the cast of BH90210, despite her diagnosis just weeks earlier:

“Things happen and you go, ‘All right, this is what I’m supposed to be doing at this moment.'”

2020 once again brought a turn when the coronavirus pandemic hit. Due to her high-risk status, Doherty and Iswarienko have been hunkered down at their home in Malibu for several months, taking up gardening and woodworking on their property. A slower pace of life has given the Heathers star time to think about a world without her in it, however morbid that may be. For now, she has mentally cataloged items for friends and family, but she’s not ready just yet to take another step:

“There are things I need to say to my mom. I want my husband to know what he’s meant to me. But whenever it comes time for me to do it, it feels so final. It feels like you’re signing off, and I’m not signing off. I feel like I’m a very, very healthy human being. It’s hard to wrap up your affairs when you feel like you’re going to live another 10 or 15 years.”

Doherty is currently using her downtime to develop new projects, including a TV show, and research how to use her public status to advocate for other metastatic breast cancer patients:

“It’s like anybody with Stage IV faces this sort of thing, where others want to put you out to pasture. I’m not ready for pasture. I’ve got a lot of life in me.”

After years of tabloid stories during the height of her 90210 and Charmed fame, it was difficult for the actress to be vulnerable about something so personal, but shared a conclusion she reached after receiving her metastatic cancer diagnosis:

“At the end of that, what I came out with was, I have good karma. It may not seem like it, but I’ve been a really good human being.”

Gellar, one of Shannen’s dearest friends, can attest to that. Doherty escorted her pal’s daughter around rides and food stands at a Malibu charity carnival last year, where strangers approached her with support, but Sarah saw a change in her BFF:

“The old Shannen would have been skeptical: ‘What do they really want?’ She used to be so guarded. Everybody was coming up to her to hug her, and she welcomed that. The fact that her public persona could finally match up with the private persona gave her some peace.”

We’re sending Shannen strength and best wishes as she fights on. For more from the star, read her full Elle interview HERE.

[Image via Shannen Doherty/Instagram & Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.]