Since the very beginning of his tenure as Rose-Master General, Zach Shallcross has been one of the most divisive Bachelors in the history of the franchise.
Some viewers were instantly smitten, while others branded him “the Boring Bachelor.”
Some appreciated his no-nonsense approach to drama among the contestants, while others felt that he acted more like the women’s warden than their potential husband.
But after Monday night’s long-awaited Fantasy Suite round, we think just about everyone can agree that Zach is one seriously awkward dude who has a lot to learn about how to conduct a romantic evening.
Things got off to a relatively promising start, with Zach and Ariel feasting on bugs and enjoying each other’s company in Thailand.
Zach had previously informed host Jesse Palmer that he would not be living out any fantasies in the Fantasy Suites.
“This is the only thing that feels right and comfortable for me. It can really muddy the situation,” Zach explained to Jesse.
“It’s going to be really damn hard, but I want my partner to be sure in us as well and not to worry about that I’m doing that right before an engagement… It’s not how I imagine a healthy engagement should start.”
He gave a similarly stilted speech to Ariel, and though she may have been disappointed, she respected his wishes.
“For me, it’s inevitable. I feel a physical connection to you. That’s there. That’s no joke,” he said.
“But I think loving one person at the end of this and sharing that intimate moment should be saved for that moment of engagement and when you have that one person.”
But when it came to his second date, this one with Gabi Elnicki — well, Zach found it hard to contain himself.
While Ariel accepted Zach’s rules with quiet resignation, Gabi seemed less than sincere when she joked, “I won’t try to seduce you.”
“The whole night was a very passionate night for Gabi and I and it was very special,” he reported the following morning.
“But my whole perspective on how I thought the week was gonna go changed because something really special happened between us in the Fantasy Suite and now I feel like I’m holding in a secret.”
Sadly, Zach didn’t keep that secret for very long.
Feeling guilty over his inability to stick to his self-imposed sex ban, Zach unburdened himself by coming clean to Kaity at the very beginning of their date.
Oh, but first he stopped by Gabi’s place to inform her of exactly what he would be doing on his next date, because he’s the World’s Most Awkward Dude.
“I just want you to be fully aware. When I walked away, I was really in my head and nervous about the declaration I went into the week [with] about the intimacy and just how it changed and how it evolved with you,” he said.
Gabi was understandably weirded out that Shallcross felt the need to inform the entire world that they’d banged the night before.
Sure enough, on his date with Kaity, he was as transparent as the bottom of their canoe, and quite predictably, she was also weirded out!
“I would never lie to you. I’ve always asked for honesty from the beginning and I will always give you that. I have been intimate this week,” he said.
“It was a decision between us that made sense to further a relationship.”
“I just figured that was the case, but you just telling me and confirming,” Kaity replied.
“I get that you wanted to tell me and you’re saying that because you respect me, but honestly, I could’ve went without hearing that.”
To her credit, Kaity toughed out the rest of their date, and she was rewarded (???) with a rose, as she and Gabi advanced to the final round, and Ariel was sent home.
She seemed okay with that decision.
You can check out our Bachelor spoilers if you want to know who gets Zach’s final rose, but we don’t blame you if you stopped caring after last night.
Zach Shallcross Breaks His Own No-Sex Rule, Bangs Gabi Elnicki, Tells Whole World About It was originally published on The Hollywood Gossip.