Pop stars are out of this world!
Related: Cody Simpson Addresses Miley Cyrus Pregnancy Rumors!
But did you ever think about which planet they’d be? We did our best to match vibes — and tbh, NAILED IT! Enjoy experiencing musicians as solar system sisters (below)!
Billie Eilish is Pluto
Just as Pluto is unlike any other planet in our solar system (because it’s technically a dwarf planet, if you need to put a label on it), Billie Eilish is unlike any pop star in the game. The Bury a Friend singer re-wrote the formula of pop stardom by not being afraid to sing about darker themes, release “sad” music, or wear baggy clothes. And since Pluto was named after the Roman god of the underworld, we couldn’t think of a more fitting pairing.
Rihanna is Neptune
Due to its slushy ice and water layer, Neptune has long been identified as the water planet. Not only is it a bright blue, but it was named after the Roman god of the Sea. No pop star has a bigger claim to the sea than Rihanna. The songstress was born and raised on the island of Barbados, boasts a fleet of fans dubbed the #RihannaNavy, and even stormed the seas in the movie Battleship.
Cher is Uranus
Uranus is often referred to as an ‘ice giant’ planet, and no pop star is icier than Cher. The Goddess of Pop basically invented the art of shade throwing: she’s insulted the likes of Madonna, Donald Trump, and even David Letterman (on his own show, no less). Like Uranus, she shows no signs of warming up.
Madonna is Saturn
Thanks to its stunning ring system, Saturn is often called the “jewel of the solar system”. We all know the Material Girl singer likes her bling, too, whether it be a problematic cape, diamond teeth, or a cone bra. The Greek equivalent of Saturn is Cronus, the titan known for eating his son, Zeus, so the young god didn’t overthrow him. We’d like you to keep that, and a certain 2002 MTV Awards performance, in mind while viewing the next slide…
Britney Spears is Jupiter
It’s Jupiter, bitch: the largest planet in our solar system. So who else could we assign to this gaseous god but the one and only Britney Spears? We mean, both are known for their rapid movement: Jupiter rotates once every 10 hours, while Brit pirouettes at least once in every music video. Jupiter’s Greek equivalent is Zeus, ruler of the Olympic gods — and even though she’s not in the pop game right now, let’s be honest: Britney has been ruling this zone since the ‘90s.
Taylor Swift is Mars
Because its reddish color was reminiscent of blood, Mars was named by the ancient Romans for their God of War. That said, we wouldn’t feel right assigning this planet to any pop star besides Taylor Swift, who is, to be clear, always at war with a fellow celeb! Whether it’s over stolen backup dancers, derogatory lyrics written about her, or the ownership of her music, Tay never backs down from a fight — and that’s what we love most about her!
Miley Cyrus is Earth
Earth is known for having a hospitable temperature and protective atmosphere that has made it possible for life to thrive. Sure, it can get a little messy at times (mostly because of all those pesky humans), but there’s no denying the beauty and serenity of our home planet. Miley Cyrus is also known for her warm nature — she’s the mother of countless pets, a lover to all genders, and a known activist for animals and LGBTQ youth. Like it or not, Mother Miley is our home, and like a good home, she’s protecting us all!
Lady GaGa is Venus
Venus is named after the ancient Roman goddess of love and beauty, who’s known as Aphrodite to the Ancient Greeks. No pop star is a bigger agent of love than Lady GaGa, whether it’s for her Little Monsters or a new paramour. Like Venus is known for its hotness (it’s the hottest planet in the solar system) and allure (it’s the second brightest natural object in the sky), the ‘Venus’ singer is known for her hot music videos and her industry-hopping star power. Few shine brighter or love deeper than GaGa!
Ariana Grande is Mercury
Mercury and Ariana Grande have one big thing in common: neither likes to stay in the same place for long. Because it’s the closest planet to the sun, Mercury’s year is just 88 Earth days. Similarly, Ari is always moving on to the next thing, whether it be a musical project, a sure-why-not acting gig, or a boyfriend. Mercury is named after one of the fastest Roman gods, the Greek equivalent being the messenger god Hermes. Like Hermes, Ari is always delivering messages to her fans via Twitter, mostly about how she’s feeling that day. Thankfully, Ariana Grande isn’t always in retrograde — it’s just about half the time.
Beyoncé is The Sun
Just like the solar system revolves around the Sun, our music world revolves around — who else? — Beyoncé. While the Sun gives energy that’s vital to humanity’ survival, Bey’s music has given energy to empower and nurture many of us around the globe. The Spirit songstress gives us warmth, light, and a spectacular view (just don’t stare at her for too long or you’ll literally go blind.)
Did we get it right, Perezcious readers?! SOUND OFF in the comments (below)!
[Image via National Geographic/YouTube]
The post If Pop Stars Were Planets In Our Solar System! appeared first on Perez Hilton.