We used to LOVE a good conspiracy theory. Usually more to laugh at than to subscribe to, but still. However, there’s a time and a place for rampant musing and wild speculation — and a pandemic is NOT IT!

The biggest dark lining on the silver cloud that is the Internet is that it has allowed for an anti-science mindset unseen since the Dark Ages. You would think people being able to just search up the truth about how vagina eggs or vaccinations really affect the body would create an educated populace, but in fact THE OPPOSITE is happening. On the Internet someone can claim to be an expert and just post any old thing, whether it’s fueled by uninformed beliefs, the desire to troll, or most often just unscrupulous greed.

Related: Keri Hilson Dragged After Spreading Conspiracy Theory

While some of us are following the words of the epidemiology experts to help combat the coronavirus, others are getting some really inaccurate ideas from dubious sources.

Even though we’re just a celebrity news blog, we’re doing the homework before posting about any time a star points to one of these wacky ideas — so as a public service, we’re passing the information we’ve gathered about all these conspiracy theories to you!

5G

We’d be surprised if you haven’t heard this one by now, likely posted by your weird cousin on Facebook.

Basically, the theory goes that 5G cell phones caused the coronavirus to spread because they happened to put up new 5G towers in Wuhan in 2019. People are buying in so much they even set towers on fire in France. This is, simply put, utter nonsense.

Conspiracy theorists have been warning of the dangers of cell phones for years. And while no study has yet proven any longterm catastrophic effects of 5G — or 3G before that, or WiFi, or radio waves — paranoia about the technology persists.

But people who believed in 5G dangers before COVID-19 were worried about radiation from cell towers! The right kind of radiation can cause radiation poisoning or cancer — but what does that have to do with a new virus??

Well, in short, nothing.

Radiation, even the super harmful kind that penetrates our skin and gets us sick, doesn’t cause viruses. If the 5G towers in Wuhan had caused those people to get sick, it would have taken a long time, and it would only have affected those around them. Remember, cancer and radiation poisoning aren’t contagious! They don’t spread to different people at an exponential rate. Viruses do that.

IF somehow 5G towers were causing the spread of coronavirus — which makes honestly no sense at all — you would also expect countries without 5G to have either no problem with coronavirus or to have a much lower infection rate. That’s just not true, as countries like Iran are also facing their own problems with COVID-19.

The most tenuous connection we’ve seen is theorists pointing to a 2011 paper suggesting bacteria can communicate with electromagnetic signals — and 5G gives them a boost. But even if that were true (and it’s unproven anyway), we have to say again — the coronavirus is a virus, not a bacterium. Even if your weird cousin doesn’t know the difference, there is one!

Frankly, those willing to bend over backwards and change their theory so radically just to fit with the latest health crisis are proving how little their worries are based on anything approaching science and are really just the product of fear of technology.

Remember, some folks were freaked out by the steam engine, too.

Bleach & Disinfectants

Some particularly high-placed folks have suggested bleach and disinfectants might be a miracle cure for the ‘rona. We just have to say this right off:

DO NOT bathe in bleach. DO NOT ingest disinfectants or cleaning products of any kind.

OK, now that the warning is out of the way, let’s actually discuss…

Disinfectants

This idea seems to stem from the fact that disinfectants kill coronavirus quickly and efficiently — hence why we use them to clean. The thing is, though, they are POISONOUS to the human body! Fire also destroys the virus, but you wouldn’t set yourself on fire, right?

Seriously, y’all, even if Trump suggests it, DO NOT set yourself on fire to kill the virus!

The same is true of drinking water near boiling temperature, something we cannot believe we have to say. DO NOT DRINK BOILING WATER!!!

Bleach

Again, bleach kills the virus, but since you should not ingest it, it’s really kind of irrelevant.

We’ve heard some folks, notably Chris Cuomo‘s wife Cristina, suggesting bleach baths as a great way of fighting off the virus. However, the amount of bleach she’s using — diluted in water enough that it won’t be harmful — isn’t really doing anything. Any effects on the body would only be on the skin, anyway (which is why bleach baths as a treatment ARE sometimes prescribed for skin conditions).

Though she is careful to note how diluted the bleach is in the water, this is still HIGHLY IRRESPONSIBLE! This is the type of thing people end up hurting themselves by trying at home.

Alcohol

Another one that’s been going around? Drinking alcohol reduces your chances of being infected with the virus.

Sorry, this one is just plain false.

Strong enough alcohol can disinfect the skin, but it does not disinfect the body when you drink it. Also, strong enough alcohol should not be ingested at all, as the World Health Organization warns “consuming high-strength ethyl alcohol (ethanol), particularly if it has been adulterated with methanol, can result in severe health consequences, including death.”

As far as liquor goes? Well, it will get you drunk, which can occasionally help with the symptoms of boredom and frustration of being stuck at home when consumed responsibly. But it is NOT recommended by doctors for fighting off the coronavirus.

In fact, the WHO cautions re: increased consumption of alcohol during the lockdown:

“Alcohol use, especially heavy use, weakens the immune system and thus reduces the ability to cope with infectious diseases.”

Sorry to be such buzzkills about it.

Vitamin C

Obviously it would be wonderful if we could combat pandemics with oranges and lemons. Unfortunately, it’s just not the case.

Vitamins are important for general health and fantastic for your immune system — which can help you keep from getting infected in the first place. (A healthy diet, moderate exercise, keeping yourself stress-free, and abstaining from smoking are also recommended.) We certainly would never tell you NOT to take vitamins. HOWEVER a bunch of vitamins aren’t going to magically kill a virus you already have; that’s not how vitamins work.

Some folks with more money than sense are willing to shell out hundreds of dollars for injections and IV drips, often cocktails of various vitamins and minerals. The thing is, no studies have proven these effective for all the ailments these are advertised to treat. (One small fibromyalgia study did note improvement in pain management — but those in the placebo group showed the same amount of improvement as those getting the actual vitamins, so in the end it was apparently just positive thinking).

At least these expensive vitamin cocktails are usually a harmless exercise; your body can only take so much vitamin B or C, but they’re also water soluble — the excess will just pass right through you. So it’s just very, VERY pricy pee.

However, if you have kidney problems, you may not be able to get rid of the extra minerals — and too much potassium can cause cardiac arrest.

Make sure you get your vitamins, but DON’T overdo it trying to obliterate any and all disease all at once.

 

Flu Vaccines

There is an actual phenomenon where the use — and specifically overuse — of antibiotics can cause bacteria to become more resistant, making bacterial infections harder to deal with. Some folks believe this is what happened with the coronavirus — we used flu vaccines too much and got a super flu!

Here’s the problem with that — the coronavirus is NOT a super flu. While many of its symptoms may resemble influenza, coronaviruses are a completely different family of viruses. Per the CDC:

“Coronaviruses are a large family of viruses that are common in people and many different species of animals, including camels, cattle, cats, and bats.  Rarely, animal coronaviruses can infect people and then spread between people. This occurred with MERS-CoV and SARS-CoV, and now with the virus that causes COVID-19.”

Flu vaccines have nothing to do with coronaviruses and could not possibly CAUSE a coronavirus outbreak.

The reason for such an absurd theory gaining traction is pretty obvious; vaccines have been a hot button issue for years as people have looked for scapegoats to blame developmental disorders like autism. Why not shift blame for another unrelated health issue onto vaccines?

The anti-vaxxer movement has already led to outbreaks of the measles and whooping cough, ailments we had all but eradicated. When a cure for COVID-19 comes, it will be in the form of a vaccine — will they reject that, too? And what problems will that cause??

The Coronavirus Was A Weapon

Some of the more paranoid conspiracy theorists believe the virus was created in a lab by the Chinese government — a kind of doomsday weapon to hurt the US. This is a theory which takes the fact the coronavirus originated in Wuhan and filters it through a, let’s just say it, severe mistrust of foreigners. There is no factual reason to believe COVID-19 was either man-made or weaponized.

First off, it makes no sense. What kind of scorched earth strategy would see China wrecking the economies of its trading partners by unleashing a virus ON ITS OWN SOIL??

But also, as previously stated, scientists who understand these viruses can trace it back to animals. The coronavirus came from bats, mutated, and was passed to humans. That’s it. It happens. If it came from anywhere else, virologists would be able to tell. It’s not a guess for them, it’s what they do. They can tell.

Look, it’s unfortunate this kind of disaster is possible, and we understand the urge to put a face on this crisis, to find someone we can blame, something we can fight. But the only way to fight is to practice safety protocols.

It’s hard and it’s boring and there is a severe cost to many unfortunate hardworking people who have to stay home — but it’s all we can do.

[Image via ITV/WENN/Instar/Avalon.]

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