Jay Cutler has a farm, and on that farm is a… chicken serial killer?!
That’s right. According to the retired NFL quarterback, an unknown force is preying on his poultry, and he’s on a mission to figure out who this “chicken serial killer” is.
Related: Jay Escapes To Montana Amid Kristin Cavallari Divorce
The father-of-three told fans on his Instagram Story:
“We’ve got a chicken serial killer on the loose. We’ve lost quite a few. Tonight, we’re gonna set up a trail camera, see if it’s a coyote, bobcat, I don’t know, raccoon. Could be anything.”
He added, referencing the chicken survivors:
“But, enough’s enough, these ladies are a little edgy right now, so we gotta figure this out.”
Sounds like a case of fowl play (sorry), and everyone’s a suspect — even Cutler’s own cat, Thelma. With a somber look on his face, Kristin Cavallari’s ex told followers that the string of slayings “could be an inside job,” adding:
“Thelma over there, while she looks nice and sweet, is a savage with loose morals. I hope you don’t show up on camera tonight.”
Cutler was so determined to catch the chicken killer, he planned a stake out to watch over the coop overnight. He shared:
“So, we’re gonna stay up, get the cam going, probably gonna sit in the tree house over there. See what happens, see what comes through. We owe it to the ladies, tonight here, especially our new residents.”
But unfortunately, Jay’s stake out plans were derailed by a rain storm.
By Thursday morning, the ex-athlete had “no news” for the fans invested in unmasking the mystery predator. However, he did take Thelma’s name off the list of suspects.
He told fans:
“While they say, ‘no news is good news,’ in this case we needed news. Didn’t get any news, no pictures on the cam, as expected. We’re obviously dealing with a pretty intelligent predator. I think it is safe to say that it is not the cat. So, I think we can take her off the suspect list.”
In a separate IG post, Jay issued an apology to Thelma, writing:
“To the cat: while I’m not sorry you were accused of these vicious acts, I will be the bigger person and admit I was wrong. You are not the the suspect we are looking for. Take it as a compliment for your savage ways of life. Carry on Cat.”
Phew!
Still, the case remains open — and Cutler made it clear that his “hunt continues” for the culprit.
Good luck, Jay!
[Image via Jay Cutler/Instagram]
The post Jay Cutler Hunting Down A ‘Chicken Serial Killer’ On His Farm Amid Kristin Cavallari Divorce appeared first on Perez Hilton.