Chrissy Teigen is opening up about her continued grief.
While preparing for the upcoming launch of her third cookbook, Cravings: All Together, the 35-year-old admitted she’s been struggling with processing the loss of her third child, Jack, who tragically passed away in a devastating pregnancy loss last fall.
Related: Chrissy Rescues Family Hamster That Was Missing For Three Days IN HER WALL!
On Sunday, while sharing a sweet snapshot alongside her hubby John Legend at a favorite restaurant in New York City (Frank in East Village), the momma of two reflected:
“Just reminiscing about New York a lot lately, when things were simple, thinking about all the stuff I’ve done and been through not just this year but in my life. I’m slightly down lately. It kind of started when I was thinking of my book caption and typed out ‘my third baby is here!!,’ as in cookbook, then realized my third baby will never be here.”
Admitting she was “basically a functioning alcoholic” during her time in NYC — and until December when she decided to quit drinking — the author continued:
“then I realized i threw myself into the book to not think of the real, actual third baby. I don’t really feel like I fully processed jack and now that I don’t have the alcohol to numb it away, things are just…there, waiting to be acknowledged. I guess what I’m saying here is life is so f**king complicated.”
She’s got that right! Read her emotional full post here:
As Perezcious readers will recall, the All Of Me vocalist and Lip Sync Battle host lost their second son nearly a year ago, in late September, after the expecting momma was hospitalized for several days to deal with excessive bleeding at 20 weeks into her pregnancy. Explaining that her child was “the strongest, coolest dude in the s**ttiest house,” the model told fans:
“It’s just hard because there’s not much you can do. I’m in that weird in-between time of it being really dangerous to try anything. Basically if I can make it through the next few weeks, if little boy can make it through the next few weeks, then, you know, we can go from there and be able to kind of get through the danger zone or whatever. But we have to get through this first. So yeah, it is scary. But it’s scary in the way that there’s just really nothing to do.”
Unfortunately, days later, the couple returned to social media to reveal that they had lost their baby. While sharing heartbreaking photos of the parents in the hospital, Teigen noted:
“We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough.”
Since that day, the family (including kids Luna, 5, and Miles, 3) have mourned and honored their loss in many special ways, such as Chrissy’s new tattoo. Writing the latest installment of the Cravings cookbook series was also an activity that “quite literally saved” her life, despite it bringing up so much pain now.
Related: Chrissy SLAMS Accusations That She Deletes Negative Comments From Her Social Media Posts
Last week, the foodie mused on the ‘gram:
“It is incredibly hard to put into words what this book means to me. How do you come up with a funny, enticing caption for a book that quite literally saved you. I didn’t have a theme in mind when we made this book – all I knew was I wanted a bright new energy, but I also needed comfort. I wanted to make recipes that would be timeless, food that brings joy to your belly, your household, those around you.”
On what the “recipes to love” became, she concluded:
“This book is reflective of everything I wanted and we needed as a family to bring into our home. It is truly a piece of us, and I am so excited to share it with you.”
Wow… We cannot imagine how difficult this must be — especially as the first anniversary of Jack’s death approaches. Wishing this whole family lots of peace as they continue to work through these complicated feelings.
Thoughts, Perezcious readers? Let us know in the comments (below).
[Image via Chrissy Teigen/John Legend/Instagram]
The post Chrissy Teigen Says She Was 'Basically A Functioning Alcoholic' For Years & Couldn't 'Fully Process' Pregnancy Loss appeared first on Perez Hilton.