This week, Kalani Faagata went Instagram Official with boyfriend Dallas Nuez. She waited a long time for this.
Not only did fans get to see Dallas’ face reveal, but Kalani confirmed that they’re still dating — more than 10 months after filming 90 Day: The Last Resort.
Many of Kalani’s fans are cheering her on. They want her to find happiness, and it looks like she has.
But a number of 90 Day Fiance fans aren’t so pleased. Some say that this Dallas thing is doomed. Others say that Kalani’s behavior disgusts them. Why?
After years of misery, Kalani Faagata has found a measure of happiness.
Now that 90 Day: The Last Resort has aired all of her erstwhile marriage’s dirty laundry (or enough of it, anyway), she can finally post Dallas Nuez to her timeline.
As Kalani herself said on Halloween, she waited a year to go public with this romance. But the way that he makes her feel (by treating her like an actual person) was worth the wait.
This hard-fought happiness was a long time coming
It’s not just that Kalani waited until she wouldn’t be “spoiling” her on-screen storyline before posting.
She waded through years of humiliation, abuse, and nightmarish in-laws.
Now, Kalani is getting a fresh start. And things are going to get so much better from here.
Fans don’t really know that much about Dallas Nuez. He is not a public figure, and only this week did he post his actual face to his Instagram Story.
But one thing that we do know is that he’s a better partner to Kalani than Asuelu.
It isn’t just that he’s better in bed (because he actually cares about Kalani). He is also attentive and affectionate and treats Kalani like a person and a partner.
Criticisms
Kalani’s critics say that she is jumping into this whole Dallas situation too quickly.
It’s not that they think that the relationship is sudden. It began as a “Hall Pass” and turned into a real romance.
But they worry that this is a rebound — that Kalani needs time to figure out what she wants after Asuelu before moving on.
Other critics are fuming, accusing Kalani of being “selfish” by dating Dallas — or anyone.
Their argument is that she should focus upon her children. Kalani has two young sons, Oliver and Kennedy.
In their minds, this divorce process is going to be challenging enough for the boys without Kalani going on dates.
Meanwhile, other critics are saying that Kalani and Dallas won’t last.
Sure, the spinoff filmed in January, and she and Dallas were an item even before that.
But they identify this as a rebound, and worry that the euphoria of post-Asuelu dating will fade and Kalani will have to move on.
Some even say that Kalani wronged Asuelu
Asuelu cheated on Kalani again and again and again. By her count, he cheated on her 12 times … and those are just the times that she knows about.
That was why Asuelu suggested the “hall pass” to Kalani, assuming that she’d never take it. But she did, and she met Dallas.
But some on social media have called her a “big disappointment to women” for taking the hall pass instead of just dumping Asuelu then and there. In fact, some have gone so far as to say that Kalani was “cheating” herself.
Um … just for the record, if your spouse gives you a “hall pass” in this context, using it is not cheating.
We’re reminded of people who think that open relationships or even closed polyamorous relationships are “cheating.” I’ve seen brainrotten takes on social media that say that a couple having a threesome are both “cheating” on each other.
But words mean things. Asuelu was desperate enough to keep Kalani from dumping him for yet another cheating incident that he offered it to her. He gave her permission, and she went with it.
Admittedly, Kalani definitely took the hall pass further than Asuelu expected or intended.
But then, he didn’t expect her to actually do it in the first place. He thought that she’d just eventually go back to letting him be her nightmare manchild husband who constantly disappointed her.
So we could see this as a bit of a gray area. But pretending that what Kalani did with Dallas is the same as what Asuelu did with at least a dozen side pieces is patently absurd.
What’s with the slut-shaming?
Obviously, slut-shaming is always bad.
Sex is not a neutral activity — but having sex and experiencing sexual desires does not have any moral weight to it. It’s like eating or sleeping. And, like eating and sleeping, some of the worst people alive have ascribed moral value to how people do it.
Kalani could sleep with 1,000 men or none and not deserve any condemnation. If anything, I’d want to congratulate her.
But, in reality, Kalani has only slept with two people. She’s not a slut by any measure. Be serious.
Not “two people in the past few years.” We mean two people … ever.
So not only is slut-shaming wrong, but it also wouldn’t even apply here.
Kalani isn’t being a bad mom
People saying that Kalani “should focus on her kids” instead of dating are doing a disservice to moms everywhere.
Single moms can date. They don’t have to, not by any means, but they can.
Kalani’s not going to leave her boys home alone while she dates or whatever. She does not have to remain dutifully single until they graduate high school.
A lot of these criticisms are likely rooted in misogyny.
Especially when it comes to suggesting that Kalani, as a mother, should not ever get to experience romance.
This is unfortunately not unexpected from this notoriously misogynistic fanbase.
It is also so important for us to remember that Asuelu is worse than Kalani shared on the show.
While this season was airing, Kalani accused Asuelu of spousal rape on Instagram. This is how their second child was conceived.
Sexual assault is much more serious than any amount of cheating. Kalani is, as always, being way too nice to Asuelu.
Is her Dallas era doomed?
Maybe this is a rebound romance. It certainly began before her marriage had (formally) ended, so the timeline fits.
And you know what? Maybe, after the honeymoon era is over, Kalani and Dallas will part ways.
Our response to that is … so? Relationships end. And not every romance has to be a stepping stone to a long-term romance. Sometimes, people just date. That’s life.
There’s also the criticism that Kalani shouldn’t have taken the hall pass at all.
These critics aren’t saying that it’s “cheating.” They just say that she should have dumped him then and there.
Well … Kalani did very much dump Asuelu. We all saw it play out on camera.
Besides, given Kalani’s upbringing and the pressures that were on her to make the marriage work, maybe she just wasn’t ready.
Sometimes, people need to take baby steps before they are ready to take a big, important leap.
Kalani is a real person, with real feelings. Not everyone is going to agree with her choices — but plenty of people are happy for her right now.
Kalani Faagata and Dallas Nuez Relationship DOOMED? 90 Day Fiance Fans Weigh In was originally published on The Hollywood Gossip.