Well, folks, we finally know how the top college basketball coaches in the country must feel every year around April.
Because it's been a very long road to the Final Four.
Yes, Peter Weber has winnowed down his group of lovely ladies to four final contestants on this season of The Bachelor.
And we promise you'll forgive our lame-ass March Madness intro when you see the treasure trove of new intel we have.
If you've been following Bachelor spoilers at all, then you have a rough idea of how things play out. But not like this ...
Of course, this week has been loaded with wild rumors. Even by Bachelor standards, it's been crazy week for celebrity gossip.
Multiple theories threatened to undermine everything we thought we knew about how things develop have rocked the web.
Namely, some folks think last season's leading lady Hannah Brown will come back to the show and steal Peter's heart.
Not happening. Others are convinced that Peter will end up with a producer named Julie LaPlaca (pictured with the pilot above).
Both of these theories have been thoroughly debunked at this point. In fact, the LaPlaca one never had legs to begin with.
It's just the kind of bonkers take that gets thrown out there when we arrive so late in the season without a definitive winner.
So ... who is the winner?
Of course, if you've been following Bachelor spoilers from the beginning, then you know the identity of Peter's final two.
Not to brag, but we were able to predict this way back in November. Yay, us! (And the many sources who helped us.)
But that was then, and this is now, and the most reliable of sources has a big-time update on how things shake out.
If, like us, you're addicted to spoilers, then you're most certainly familiar with Steve Carbone, better known as Reality Steve.
In his latest article on this season's bonkers conclusion, the spoiler god lays out his case for who is the final rose recipient.
But the Texas Bachelor Oracle notes that the couple is almost certainly not engaged at this point. Wait ... come again?
"As I said from the very beginning once filming was over, there were two things I specified," writes Steve.
"This was not a normal ending and there was no engagement in Australia on final rose ceremony day."
"There are things in this timeline that I just don’t know yet."
From there Steve makes it abundantly clear that if you're holding out hope for a shocker involving Hannah Brown, or Julie LaPlaca, or an unexpected return from Victoria Fuller (above), well ...
... you can just go ahead and let go of those expectations.
"I’ve said numerous times over the last couple months: this is between two people: Madison and Hannah Ann," he writes.
"Hannah Brown, [Bachelor] producers, anyone outside the top 2 – none of those people have anything to do with the finale."
"I hope you see that by now," he urges, almost annoyed. "If you’re holding out hope for something like that, it didn’t happen."
Steve then lays out a future storyline that began developing on Monday night's show, featuring Madison Prewett (below).
Young Madison is a virgin who informs Peter that she's deeply religious, and expects her future husband to share her beliefs.
Could be in for a rude awakening. It's Peter Weber, after all.
"Peter does have sex in the overnight dates," Steve says.
"Shocker, I know. However, Madison doesn’t find this out because Peter tells her, but from Victoria F. and Hannah Ann."
"There is a girl chat that happens during overnight date week (presumably after all the overnights happen)," Steve adds.
"They are the ones to tell Madison [about sex with Peter]."
Wow.
Madison predictably doesn't take the news well, and eliminates herself, leaving Peter with only Hannah Ann Sluss (below).
Well that ought to make it easier at the final rose ceremony, right? With only one girl remaining to receive it? Oh, not so fast!
It appears, however, that Prewett remains in Australia despite ending the relationship and withdrawing from the competition.
As you know, Madison has already met Peter's family.
There's also an oft-previewed scene from the finale in which Peter's crying mother begs him to "bring her home to us."
Clearly, that promo lacks context, but based on the info now available, it seems almost certain that she's referring to Madison.
It also seems like the "bombshell" that Chris Harrison drops on Peter the day of the proposal is that Madison has withdrawn.
He goes back to his room, consults with his family, chases after Madison, and they live semi-happily ever after.
"I have heard from numerous sources 'Madison is with Peter. They are dating but not engaged,'" Steve writes.
"If you’re holding a gun to my head and forced me to [guess] how this all plays out, I’d say that would be my guess at this point."
"But that’s just it. A guess. I don’t know for sure."
"But yeah, if you’re asking me what I think Peter’s current dating situation is, I’d go with that. They are together, definitely not engaged."
"They are working on their relationship because this definitely hasn’t been easy on Madison from all accounts."
Like Steve, we're not willing to declare the winner with 100 percent certainty, but yes, at this point, all signs point to Madison.
After all, we know the final two are Madison and Hannah Ann (above). If Madison split, and Peter wanted Hannah anyway, well ...
That would be convenient, and make for the least dramatic finale ever, not the most, as Harrison has been promising all season.
Granted, Harrison promises the most dramatic finale ever every single year, but this time, we might really see some fireworks.
Should be a good one!
