Well, the hometown dates have come and gone, which means we can finally get to the good stuff on The Bachelor.
Yes, the Fantasy Suite round on Peter Weber's season is upon us, and - Bachelor spoilers alert - it's gonna be wild.
Not to go all Chris Harrison on you, but it's hard to remember a season when there's been more drama at this stage.
After all, in addition to the usual stress over Peter's final decision, there's that pesky ultimatum from Madison Prewett.
You know, that whole proposed sex ban that could potentially prevent Pilot Pete from fully enjoying the suite life.
In case you missed it, Madison (above) ominously took Peter aside following Monday night's rose ceremony.
Though the conversation that followed won't air until next week, The Bachelor spoilers offer some big hints.
(And if not, this is your final warning to click away, because it's about to get all kinds of spoiler-y up in here!)
You see, unlike the other two young women remaining, Madison is a virgin, and she's saving herself for marriage.
She's also very religious. Like, we're talking Ned Flanders or Duggar-levels of fundamentalist Christianity here.
Thus, it's not enough for Madison to save herself for marriage. She wants Peter to do the same. End of story.
Doesn't make a ton of sense, since we already know the Windmilling Casanova is no virgin, but those are Madi's rules.
Peter clearly has strong feelings for the Madison, but not surprisingly, he's also feeling other things in the ol' suite.
A new promo for Monday's episode shows Peter getting very friendly with at least two different women up in there.
Sure, we don't see him actually gettin' it on.
This is ABC, after all, not 3 a.m. Cinemax.
Still, the seamingly steamy hotel room clips are juxtaposed with Madison storming off and the other girls saying what a prude he is.
Safe to say some sexy-time occurred. The question now is whether Pete went there with Hannah Ann Sluss and/or Victoria Fuller.
The answer is almost certainly yes.
All across the Bachelor Nation-obsessed corners of the Internet, fan detectives have been picking apart the promo for clues.
Fortunately, the folks at Cosmo filtered out some of the lunatic ramblings and produced a coherent prediction of what happens.
First, there's that glass door scene:
Straight out of a softcore p0rn flick, you know the Bachelor camera crew was thrilled to get this already-infamous screen shot.
So who's the lucky lady about to touch down with Pilot Pete in the shower? Why, it's none other than Hannah Ann Sluss!
And how do we know?
Well, that question has a slightly more complex answer ... like, the people who figured it out put JFK assassination theorists to shame.
Peter is seen making out in two different beds with two different women over the course of the seductive ABC promo.
The one wearing the fluffy-ass socks in the pic above is presumably the same woman that Peter hooks up with behind the glass.
Both scenes take place in the same room.
They spent the night, and woke up to an early morning, semi-nude makeout session? Sex in between seems like a good bet.
We also think it's safe to say the sock-wearer is Hannah Ann, as Peter's other hookup takes place in a different room.
Moreover, his red room partner is rocking a pair of eye-catching heels ... ones that fans have seen somewhere before.
That's right, it seems that the controversial Victoria Fuller was rocking them at the last rose ceremony:
That being said, hard evidence that Peter had sex with Victoria is somewhat harder to find in this limited footage.
But given that she was blasting Madison as a prude and calling her "disgusting" for issuing Peter an ultimatum?
It's at least fair to consider the possibility that she didn't waste any time getting busy in the Fantasy Suite.
Obviously, we won't know for sure until Monday.
But one thing we can say for certain is that Madison did not spend any time in the vicinity of Peter's cockpit.
Sorry. But it's true. And she wasn't too thrilled by how quiickly he disregarded her ultimatum. See below.
