From the start, Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra have put their kids first no matter what. Part of that meant Carly's adoption.
Now, she has sat down with her mother to talk about that choice, and how she's doing better for her kids.
During last night's Teen Mom OG, Catelynn Lowell had an important conversation with her mother, April Brockmiller.
Catelynn described herself as being in a "good place" in terms of her emotional state and her mental health.
But even a healthy state of mind needs continuing upkeep, and that means having hard talks (and having them on camera, if you want money).
Catelynn wanted to talk about "core trauma" that continues to linger from her history with her mom.
"I was glad you got help," April said with a powerful vibe of resignation.
She added: "I knew you needed it."
"If you don't say how you feel," Catelynn reasoned in response, "then things are just going to be built up."
Introspection, self-awareness, emotional honesty -- all of these are components of emotional and mental health.
Of course, Catelynn isn' the only one who has dealt with issues and trauma related to her mother.
April described how she herself "walked on eggshells" around her own mother.
Catelynn correctly pointed out that this is indicative of "generational trauma," a vicious cycle in which chldren repeat their parents' mistakes.
"And you're stopping it," April pointed out. Catelynn absolutely is.
Very simply, generational trauma happens when parents do not correct the mistakes that traumatized them.
This can be as simple as using emotionally charged verbal abuse to vent frustrations at children to inflicting monstrous abuse upon them.
Catelynn has gone through a lot of work to ensure that she does not pass this family curse to her children.
That takes remarkable strength, but it's always worth it to do the right thing.
They also spoke about Carly's adoption and how Catelynn had broken the news to her mom when she was 16.
Catelynn herself did not recall how the discussion had gone down, but April did.
She remembered that particular talk very clearly, because it was on Mother's Day.
"You did the right thing," she praised Catelynn. "I'm glad you did what you did."
Catelynn told her mother that she appreciated the encouraging words.
Hearing April's endorsement meant "a lot" to Catelynn.
Healthy communication in a once-toxic family relationship is not always possible -- and sometimes, people shouldn't even try.
But in Catelynn's case, she feels better off developing healthy communication with April and explaining her process.
Tyler and Catelynn are not kidding about putting their kids first.
Nova and Vaeda are young, now, but they have already spoken with Nova about how there is a chance that some people may know of her from TV.
If their kids end up bullied or otherwise miserable because they are reality stars, Tyler and Catelynn will end their reality careers.
No TV show is worth a child's mental health.
You only get one childhood.
Catelynn knows that very well.
Filming has allowed them to take care of their own needs and those of their children in ways that very few other opportunities in life would have.
But money is only part of the equation of giving your children a successful, secure future.
Catelynn and Tyler know that all of the money in the world won't help Nova and Vaeda if their mental and emotional health suffer as they develop.
(Seriously, how many wildly rich kids have gone astray -- or worse -- despite, on paper, being perfectly prepared for the world)
Love, patience, and affection will give them the emotional support that their developing minds need to prepare for their futures.
Otherwise, what is the point?
Vaeda and Nova's parents are doing what fewer and fewer parents can do these days -- saving up for their lives, including college.
Tyler and Catelynn are making sure that their children will have financial stability, no matter what.the future may hold.
Combining that with an emotionally healthy upbringing, and they're truly set for the future.
Catelynn went through some rough experiences and learned some hard experiences, but Nova and Vaeda -- and Carly -- will not be part of that generational trauma.
