As much as viewers have enjoyed Dorinda Medley's explosive drama on The Real Housewives of New York City, she's only human.
Watching her grief play out on screen is hard for her, and Dorinda admits that she recently reevaluated her entire life.
Last week, viewers of The Real Housewives of New York City saw Dorinda Medley in a very vulnerable moment.
She was mourning her late husband. The months since that was filmed have not worn away her raw feelings.
"Yes," Dorinda confirms to Us Weekly. "Absolutely it was a tough episode to watch."
Of course. You can't help but relive what you were feeling in the moment as you see yourself on screen.
Dorinda is the first to acknowledge that being a Real Housewife is a complicated thing.
"But I think the thing is -- that there’s a lot of things going on," Dorina expresses.
She quickly adds: "And obviously we can’t break the fourth wall."
That is reserved for very special events -- like Denise Richards' antics this season on RHOBH.
"There’s a lot of things coming up," Dorinda warns.
That means that we have not seen her whole story play out this season. Not yet.
"And," she continues, "a lot of things, like, that I am going through myself."
Dorinda shares that these are things "that are making me definitely on edge and uptight."
"I think I say it at the winery," Dorinda recalls.
She expresses: "I just feel vulnerable and scared and overwhelmed."
Dorinda then adds: "[I] thought, ‘I can’t do this. I just can’t take another thing.’"
When it rains, it pours is a somewhat callous expression, but it is an apt one.
If she is feeling so besieged dealing with things, including a flood at her Blue Stone Manor, why air it for the cameras?
"I’m in this process," Dorinda explains.
"I decided to be a housewife," she acknowledges.
"And," Dorinda states, "you have to be a housewife [in] good times [and] bad times."
As far as she is concerned, she can't opt out when the going gets tough.
"That’s part of the process,” Dorinda reasons.
“That’s the journey that you need to take the viewer on," she affirms.
"And then," Dorinda adds, "they can take and do what they want with it."
We've watched Dorinda deal with the flood that we mentioned and feud with Tinsley Mortimer.
Dorinda also reveals that she'd had a broken rib before filming began -- ouch!
The incident prompted her to reevaluate her life.
"I literally would cry to my mother, ‘I don’t know what’s going on. Nothing’s working out anymore,’” Dorinda admits.
“And," Dorinda recalls, "she would say to me, ‘It’s exactly where it should be. There is a reason. Well OK, you broke your rib. Guess that means you got to slow down.’"
She then jokes: "My tagline should have been, ‘I’m not only reconstructing my house, I’m reconstructing myself.’"
"I felt like I had to ask permission to do a lot of my life," Dorinda expresses.
"Now," she continues, "I’m like, ‘I’m doing it. If you don’t like it it’s too bad.’”
Dorinda adds: “And also, two, it’s made me a lot more intolerant to any bulls--t."
That doesn't mean that she can't wade into a little drama.
Earlier this month, viewers saw Dorinda issue a challenge to Tinsley.
To be fair, Leah McSweeney played a role, but Dorinda took Leah's words and used them to create a scene. It happens.