It’s a little surprising that we’re all at work today.

After all, it’s Donald Trump’s birthday, and the man had four full years in which he could’ve declared June 14 a national holiday!

Usually, the Donald can be counted on to seize any opportunity for self-aggrandizement, and we love an extra day off in summer, don’t we, folks?

Anyway, we’re talking about Trump’s big day because he celebrated it with supporters last night after delivering what might be one of the top five weirdest speeches of his career.

As you’ve likely heard by now, on Tuesday, Trump was arraigned in Florida on 37 felony counts related to his alleged mishandling of classified documents.

Trump wasted no time in addressing his latest brush with the law, speaking to a crowd of supporters at Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey last night.

“Today we witnessed the most evil and heinous abuse of power in the history of our country. It’s a very sad thing to watch,” Trump began.

The former president went on to allege that Joe Biden had his “top political opponents arrested on fake and fabricated charges of which he and numerous other presidents would be guilty.”

From there, sounding very much like a surly teen with a messy bedroom, 45 complained that he just hadn’t had time to go through all the boxes he had taken from the White House.

“I hadn’t had a chance to go through all the boxes,” he told the crowd.

“It’s a long tedious job. Takes a long time, which I was prepared to do, but I have a very busy life. I’ve had a very busy life. They make it more busy, because you’re always fighting,” Trump continued.

“These boxes were containing all types of personal belongings. Many, many things. Shirts and shoes and everything.”

The thought that nuclear launch codes are mixed in with golf spikes and secret sauce-stained polos is not as comforting as Trump seems to think it is, but once the big man gets on a roll he can’t be stopped!

But while the shaky arguments and unorthodox pronunciations were undeniably weird, the strangest part of the speech came when Donnie reminded the crowd that it’s his birthday week.

“Nice birthday, isn’t it?” he said to laughter from the audience.

“They were saying ‘Happy Birthday’ I was with Eric and Lara and the kids — ‘Happy Birthday, Grandpa’ — and I said ‘Oh great, just got charged with’ — they went for 400 years approximately [in prison],” Trump continued.

(We hope he didn’t really say that to his grandkids, but who knows?)

“We’re gonna make it into the greatest birthday of all,” Trump then promised the crowd, as they launched into a chorus of “Happy Birthday.”

We assume that was a weird way of saying his birthday present to himself will be successful presidential campaign … or something.

The odds don’t seem to be in Trump’s favor on that score, what with the multiple criminal trials and all.

But it’s worth noting that he’s the current frontrunner among GOP candidates.

And hey, if Big Don does manage to get reelected, we’re that much closer to a day off on June 14, 2025!

Donald Trump Gives Predictably Bonkers Speech Following Arraignment, Crowd Serenades … was originally published on The Hollywood Gossip.