Even her most devoted fans rarely know what to think of Lindsay Lohan's strange behavior.
Never has this been more true than her latest video. Is she okay? Like, even less okay than usual?
Lindsay Lohan took to TikTok last week and shared a promotional video.
It looks like it's some sort of ad for Famera, a virtual reality chatting app.
If the bizarre video's goal was to get people talking and make them read the word "Famera" ... congratulations.
Lindsay is speaking into the video, and visually it seems normal except for the text on the screen.
But listen to the audio and read the captions, and you're going to have a whole lot of questions.
Did Lindsay even know that the video was recording when she read these lines? It's a fair question.
"Oh, Famera President," Lindsay says, "it's me, Lohan."
"I call upon thy name to ask for forgiveness ..." she continues, wearing an amused smile.
Lindsay continues, sharing that she seeks forgiveness "for being a dirty little stinker."
The caption reads "[heavenly sound]," but our ears are then assaulted by the sound of flatulence. Gross.
Lindsay continues: "The fragrance of salvation is in the air."
She then says: "May the eye wink upon you," before winking at the camera.
“O holy prescient savior of that that’s chill," Lindsay continues to address the camera.
She implores: "May you shrink our stink absolve us of our smells.”
Why this quasi-religious language is being used to address flatulence is simply beyond us. Ugh.
We can easily imagine conspiracy quacks saying that Lindsay's rambling is clearly further evidence of whatever they happen to believe.
Mind-controlled celebrity clones? Lindsay's glitching here, maybe emitting a cry for help with nonsensical rambling.
Celebrities harvest adrenochrome to serve demons? Lindsay's mocking Christianity with flatulence jokes.
These folks can and will use anything to serve their absurd narratives, from innocuous social media posts to Halftime Shows.
(We are not making light of the harm of conspiracy theories; you have our deepest sympathies if you have lost a loved one to Qanon)
But Lindsay's deeply weird video likely has a pretty boring explanation.
Clearly, Lindsay is reading pre-written lines.
It is suspected that this is a calculated effort at a viral marketing campaign.
Everyone looking at this video is going to hear her say "Famera" and see the word appear on screen.
So, as we said before, if the goal is to get people talking, it's working.
Additionally, her line about "the eye" could be an anus joke ... but we cannot help but notice that Famera's logo includes an eye.
It's more likely that this line is meant to draw attention to the logo and, by extension, the company.
Generations ago, commercials were absurdly simple.
Someone simply enjoys a product, or turns to the camera and says "I enjoy Product because it has Good Qualities."
For decades, the market has been too saturated with products and advertisements for that to work for most products.
For something as esoteric as a virtual reality messaging app, you have to reach your target audience.
If the goal was to expose aging Millennials who loved Mean Girls and then followed entertainment news obsessively a full decade ago ... well done.
If the plan is to also target younger Millennials and members of Gen Z, they should get, like, Dua Lipa or BTS to read their next string of nonsensical sentences.
