There’s more to this troubled relationship than a choice between Mohamed and a bikini, because it’s not just about a swimsuit.
Yvette Arellano made changes to her diet, she stopped drinking wine most of the time, she cleaned out her wardrobe. She even installed a bidet.
She was shocked when Mohamed Abdelhamed told her that this was not enough — that she needed to change more.
But Mohamed thought that she already understood this … and says that if she doesn’t conform to his wishes, he’ll fly back to Egypt.
Season 9, Episode 7 of 90 Day Fiance got off to a rough start for Yvette and Mohamed.
There’s a reason that there are lines of flesh-colored undergarments, but clearly, Yve didn’t realize that under camera lighting, her dress was see-through.
She felt shamed and chastised and a little confused when Mohamed told her to wear a longer jacket, and that was just the beginning.
Mohamed was meeting Yvette’s friend, Jen, Rochelle, and Tatiana, for the first time.
While the other ladies enjoyed wine, Yve — having reduced her wine intake to special occasions to please Mohamed — did not.
While Mohamed told her friends that he didn’t mind them drinking wine, he was clearly unimpressed with them.
He felt that they were testing him to see what he’s really like, and he may have been right.
Mohamed also speculated that perhaps Yvette’s “weird” friends wore more revealing clothing to see how he responded.
While Rochelle did wear a low neckline, overall the friends dressed about the same as they did on Yve’s first episode, when he was not present.
Jen, Rochelle, and Tatiana were invited to ask Mohamed questions (always the role of friends and family on these shows) in a “lightning round.”
They wanted to get to know him better, and first confirmed that Mohamed’s one prior serious relationship ended because he didn’t have any money.
Despite that relationship, he admitted that he had never had sex or even kissed before Yvette.
Jen, who is a sex therapist by trade, asked very directly how Mohamed had even known what to do.
Animal instincts can take people pretty far, but had he — like untold millions — first learned aspects of sex from porn?
It was a direct question, and Mohamed was clearly offended.
Mohamed was stunned, noting that no one in his community in Egypt would ask anything of the sort for any reason.
That is not quite the case in America, where some people will freely discuss porn — but only with close friends, when everyone is comfortable with it and consents to the conversation.
Mohamed was not comfortable, and while the questions were for the camera’s benefit, he was clearly unhappy.
Mohamed insisted that his “rules” for Yvette were not confusing and were all made clear before he came to see her.
She gently disagreed, sharing the story of being told to wear a longer jacket before dinner, and likely thinking of when he scolded her for speaking to a plumber.
Little did she know, but this was only the beginning of her surprises.
Mohamed mocked the idea that women wanting to not be “controlled” is a good thing, asking why it’s bad.
He took a paternalistic angle, saying that making rules for how women live their lives is to “protect” them.
This is a familiar claim to those who grew up in evangelical communities in the US, or anywhere where toxic purity culture runs rampant.
The ride home after the dinner was nothing short of awkward.
Among other things, Mohamed confronted Yvette, telling her that him telling her to change before dinner was a “private” conversation.
Yve noted that her friends knew of past conflicts, but that seemed to bother him, too.
If she wanted to live as she wants, he said, that’s fine … but not if she marries him.
The two dredged up a fight from the summer, after Yve had worn a bikini on a family trip.
She simply hadn’t had a one-piece bathing suit at the time, but the fight had resulted in them not speaking for a couple of days.
Mohamed told her that he didn’t see his demands as unreasonable.
There were things that he wanted her to change, and the idea of her choosing a bikini over him was laughable.
But it’s not really about the bikini, is it? And that’s also not the only change that he wants her to make.
Yvette had thought that she had already made the changes that he wanted from her.
Instead, she was left hurt and wondering what more he was going to ask.
Yve also wondered why the man who supposedly loves her would speak to her this way.
