This season, toxic aspects of Emily Bieberly and Kobe Blaise’s storyline have played upon the worst instincts of 90 Day Fiance viewers.
But it’s not only aboud editing and misogyny. This couple has real issues that production barely has to exaggerate.
This week’s episode saw Kobe snap, telling Emily to “shut the f–k up” in front of her mom after she got bossy.
Some people will never work out and are just better off apart. Are they still together?
In previous episodes, Emily Bieberly telling Kobe Blaise what to do made sense.
It wasn’t just that she was teaching him things — she was teaching him important things that should never be messed up.
How to change a diaper, how to put Koban in his car seat, how to please never feed whole peanuts to a 17-month-old … you need to get these right the first time.
On Episode 8, however, Kobe was learning how to help out on her parents’ land.
(The reasons were so vague that we sort of get the feeling that production begged them to do something interesting, but hey, maybe Lisa really did need the help)
While Kobe shoveled some foul-smelling equine offerings in the stable, Emily was eager to be able to spend time with him.
Unfortunately, she channeled this excitement into basically badgering Kobe into doing the job differently.
She was being bossy and micromanaging him on a task that is not urgent or consequential.
There are some people who prefer to be told exactly what to do and how to do it. Kobe is not one of them.
Emily felt that she was being “helpful” by telling Kobe how to do things faster so that they could move on to something else.
Kobe felt that she was being patronizing and annoying.
Neither of them communicated their feelings very well to each other. They became abrasive, hurt each other’s feelings, and then things got worse:
There are simply no circumstances, outside of perhaps some specific bedroom role play, when you should tell your partner to “shut the f–k up.”
Kobe wasn’t responding to a joke or a funny story — he was demanding that Emily stop speaking to him, as rudely as possible.
This kind of line would very reasonably end friendships. It’s an outrageous way to speak to one’s fiancee … especially in front of her mom, but also in private.
Emily was shocked, and she told the camera as much before going inside.
She had never before witnessed this side of Kobe, not in their two months in China and not in their long-distance relationship.
Is this how he is going to react during future disagreements?
In the stable, Kobe very awkwardly spoke to Lisa, Emily’s mom.
Kobe seemed to miss the nuance of how rude and hostile what he had said to his fiancee had been.
He wondered if this conflict had to do with them coming from different cultures with different gender roles.
Lisa was able to gently steer Kobe in another direction, helping him to understand her daughter’s reaction a bit better.
This wasn’t about how men and women speak in the US so much as about how one person speaks to another.
She noted that her husband would never, ever speak to her the way that Kobe had just spoken to Emily.
When Kobe went in, the two offered each other half-apologies.
Emily didn’t seem to grasp how bossy she had been.
Kobe was more apologetic, but still didn’t give the impression that he understood the line that he had crossed.
Before these recent disagreements, most of the conflict that we saw had more to do with the viewing audience.
Baited by the production crew and editors, misogynistic trolls have been frothing at the mouths with hatred for Emily.
From (gasp!) being honest about her sexual history with Kobe to (no!) breastfeeding her son, she made an easy target for a certain portion of viewers.
But are Emily and Kobe still together? We know that this was all filmed many months ago — likely late last year.
Many, but not all, of us would consider “shut the f–k up” an absolute relationship dealbreaker no matter what, though clearly this is not the case for Emily.
Could they still be together after multiple disputes and an exchange of such harsh words?
Last month, Kobe and Emily hinted that they are still together.
Kobe gave a shoutout on Mother’s Day, praising all moms but singling out Emily by saying “I still got this wonderful woman.”
Emily reinforced the hint by telling him that she loves him in a comment, as you can see above. It certainly appears that they were still together very recently.
To complicate matters, however, Kobe made a vague post to Instagram after Episode 8 aired.
“Know your worth and never feel bad to break a relationship or leave a place where you’re not appreciated,” he wrote.
“Some people are in your life for a reason,” he offered, “while others are there for a season.”
“And,” Kobe continued, “most of the times those seasonal people in your life will make you feel like you can’t survive without them.”
He advised: “Remember God does not only bless people financially, taking someone out of your can also be a blessing. We move”
It sounds like a generic piece of advice … but is it a hint that he and Emily are over? Only time will tell.
